Incest
by Judy1998
Summary: Bella never understood why her brother Edward has always been so dark and overprotective of her. He was constantly running away from his most darkest secrets, and she'd always been there to save him. But when Edward finally loses control, Bella is introduced to his innermost forbidden desires: He wants her. How can she hold onto her sanity...when he's pulling her deeper into hell?
1. Chapter 1: Instantaneous

**Author's Note: Hey! I'm back with a new story! Don't count on frequent updates because I honestly won't have a consistent schedule for this one. If you don't want to read it until I've finished it, then that's fine too. Just keep in mind that even **_**I**_** don't know why I'm starting a new story when I'm so busy with this school year. Try to be understanding, please, that I have a life outside of FF. Thanks so much! **

**Judging by the title, you already have some idea of what it's about, and you liked the summary since you're here. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

Insanity. That's what this was. Insanity, madness...sin.

To be in love with such a dark angel, one who does not love himself. I did not have the confidence to love him as he loves me. But do I love myself? Am I any different than he is?

This is pure agony. Misery. I would never have believed in such a thing. Did such pain exist? How do I live like this?

I can't. Not when he is constantly around me, constantly shaking me, making me feel uncertain of everything that I'd believed to be true. My rational world, my logical life... He ruined it instantly with a few simple words. He tainted my innocence with his dark world, pulling me in deeper with him.

I don't want this. I never wanted this...pain...this agonizing insanity of indecision and confusion. Will I have to live like this forever?

Death. Death would bring comfort to me. Peace.

But he was there. He was always in my way, his beautiful green eyes flashing dangerously and coldly, ready to stop me at any moment. With him around, nothing was possible.

I loved him. I hated him. I wanted him. I wanted freedom.

I needed to breathe.

This is my definition of hell.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Author's Point of View**

Snow was falling hard and fast, making the roads slippery and wet. It was quite a snowstorm that Chicago was enduring, and though it was not uncommon, it unnerved its inhabitants.

Inside a huge white house in the middle of town, a family of five was safe and warm as they bathed in the cozy living room. A toddler around the age of three was waddling around, with his dark, curly hair ruffled up and his blue eyes sparkling with delight. He plopped down next to his two-year old sister, who instantly gave him a bright, happy smile.

On an armchair, a beautiful baby boy was sitting up all on his own, his green eyes watching his older siblings curiously. He was merely a year old, but he already seemed bright beyond his years. It was hard to know what he was thinking, but his deep green eyes always seemed to be pulling out someone else's thoughts when they looked at him.

A handsome couple sat on the white sofa. The woman was cuddling a small bundle, a baby girl barely a month old. She looked very much like her father, with her deep, chocolate brown eyes and brown hair. She was a beauty – she was going to be breaking a lot of hearts when she grew older.

The couple cooed down at their little goddaughter happily, laughing when she frowned up blankly at the ceiling. She was an adorable child... Too bad her parents would be here soon to pick her up after running an errand.

"Telly!" the curly-haired boy exclaimed, clapping his hands and giggling.

His mother looked toward the kitchen, where the telephone was ringing insistently. She handed the bundle to her husband and hurried to answer the phone. A minute later, she returned, her face ashen and tears streaking down her face.

"Carlisle," she whispered. "They...they're not coming."

Her husband guessed the worst as he glanced out at the dark windows. "Are they okay?" he asked quietly, but he already knew the answer. No. No, they were not okay.

He looked down at the beautiful girl in his arms, his expression pained. She would never see her parents again.

**Bella's Point of View**

_**Fourteen Years Old**_

I scowled as I walked home from Forks Middle School. Today had been a bad day: I had tripped four times and fallen twice. I had accidentally hit Mike Newton with a volleyball during Gym, drawing his attention to me. Thinking that I'd done it on purpose to get his attention, he'd asked me out on a date this Friday.

Who would be crazy enough to date _me_? I was nothing but plain. Average looks, average height, average grades.

When I'd recovered from my shock and opened my mouth to say no, he had already walked away, taking my silence as a yes. So, apparently, I had a date this Friday, with no way out of it. I wondered briefly if my older sister Alice would help me out. Not with dressing up, but with getting Mike off of my tail.

I groaned as I tossed my backpack near the foot of the stairs upon arrival and headed for the kitchen. Knowing Alice, it was safe to assume that she would be helping me dress up instead. I decided not to tell her. She was too busy now anyway, being a junior in high school and everything. Hopefully, she wouldn't pay attention.

Ha, funny joke. She always paid attention to her baby sister. I groaned again.

"Hi, sweetie," my mother, Esme, greeted me, smiling as she set the timer on the oven. "Did you have a nice day?"

"No," I mumbled, plopping down on the stool behind the counter. "It was the worst day of my life."

Esme looked concerned. "Why?"

"Mom, if I told you that I got asked out, would you give me permission to date him?"

Esme's eyes widened. She had a huge smile on her face. Crap.

"Of course," she said. "I think you're old enough to be curious about boys now."

I scowled at her. "No, Mom," I said forcefully. "You were supposed to say no so that I could escape my date on Friday."

"_What?_" a dangerous, sharp voice rang out.

I cringed and made a face. Double crap. He wasn't supposed to hear that.

I glanced at the kitchen doorway to see my second oldest brother, Edward, glaring at me. Involuntarily, my heart picked up.

Edward was gorgeous. Handsome, popular, and sexy. Everything that I wasn't. He was only a year older than I was, but he played the role of my older brother very seriously. He was overprotective. He was cold and stoic. He hardly ever smiled.

I was the only who could get him to open up. We were close. He was stubborn, forceful, and possessive. And he was dangerous.

"Now, Edward," Esme said immediately. "Let's be reasonable." She looked wary. She knew exactly how protective he was of me.

"Reasonable, my ass," Edward snapped, striding toward me with his long legs. "Is that true, Bella? Someone asked you out?"

Too afraid to speak, I nodded slowly.

He exhaled sharply, his breath coming out in a hiss. "Tell me the bastard's name."

"Edward," Esme reprimanded. "Cut it out."

"His name," he emphasized.

I looked at him pleadingly. "Edward, please," I said softly. "Don't be angry with me. Calm down."

His expression turned murderous. "Calm down?" he repeated. "You expect me to calm down when some low-life asked you out?"

"Oh, Edward," Esme scolded. "Don't be so harsh. Bella's in eighth grade – the boy who asked her out is in eighth grade. What do they know?" She flinched when Edward shot her a glare.

"Edward," I said, tugging on his arm when I recognized the danger zone. Time to distract him from hurting someone around him. "Let's go, okay? We'll go talk upstairs."

Mercifully, he didn't say anything to Esme but allowed me to drag him upstairs. When we got to the top of the landing, he took the lead and led me into his bedroom. I sat down gingerly on the edge of his bed while he closed the door.

"Tell me," he ordered, though his expression had softened. "Now."

"Don't, Edward," I said, frowning. "He's not a bad guy. He's just...persistent."

"I don't want you going out with him. I don't want you going out with anyone. Do you understand?"

Holy hell. My heart was beating faster than ever at his words. I knew that he was just being his normal, overprotective self, but the glint in eyes scared me. _It thrilled me._

I stared up at him, dazed. It must be a crime to be so gorgeous, so handsome. His green eyes...I could easily fall into if I allowed myself to. His lips...

Whoa, Bella. Stop right there. You are not going there. _He. Is. Your. Brother._

Crap.

"Answer me, Bella," he demanded. "Tell me that you will not go out with him!"

"Alright," I said quietly. "I won't go out with him."

He relaxed ever so slightly. "Do you promise?" he asked apprehensively.

My lips parted at the genuine fear that I now recognized in his eyes. He looked vulnerable. I reached for him, and he automatically drifted closer, taking my hand.

"What are you so afraid of, Edward?" I asked. "You know that I'll always come to you for approval. Your opinion matters the most to me."

"You don't have to come to me for approval," he spat. "I'll always say no."

"I'm not even interested in him," I tried to assure him. It was no use.

"Promise me," he said, his eyes narrowing.

I gazed into his angry eyes and knew that he would not let go of the subject until I did as he asked. Or rather, demanded. "Okay, I promise."

He didn't look entirely appeased, but he laid down on his bed, taking me with him. I was aware of my breathing getting faster.

"Don't ever leave me, Bella," he murmured, holding me close to him. "I couldn't live if you did."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward."

"Seriously," he said. "You can't leave me. You just can't."

There seemed to be a double meaning behind those words. What was my brother so afraid of? Why did he think that I would leave him? Whether I dated a boy or not, he would always be my brother either way. Why did it matter so much?

"Did you have a good day?" I asked instead.

He sighed. "No. Lauren ruined my morning."

Instant jealousy. Trying to ignore the anger I felt, I said, as calmly as I could, "What did Lauren Mallory do?"

Oops. It did not come out calmly. It came out dangerously. Like I was mad. Which I was.

Edward was instantly pulling back to read my face. "Did I upset you?" he asked, frowning.

"No," I said curtly, but I pushed him away and sat up. "I'm going to go do homework."

He was sitting up at once, grabbing my hand as I made to climb out of the bed. "Bella," he pleaded. "Tell me what I did wrong."

"Nothing," I insisted, but the anger was still there. Stupid Bella. I couldn't act to save my life.

"It is _not_ nothing," Edward said forcefully, pulling me down so that I was sitting again. "What is it? Tell me." He was demanding again.

Edward was my favorite sibling and I loved him to death, but there were times when I could not understand him. And it was when he was unreasonably possessive of me. I wasn't a baby; I could take care of myself. But he didn't seem to think so. Did he not trust me?

I pursed my lips, wondering if I should tell him. Screw it, he would eventually coax it out of me anyway. I lowered my gaze to his chest, focusing on the shirt that he was wearing.

"What did she do this time?" I asked quietly.

"Is that all?" Edward asked, chuckling in relief. "You were worried about what she did to annoy me?"

_No, I'm worried about what _you_ did to her. You're too popular for your own good._

"She tried to kiss me, but of course I wouldn't allow it. I would never fall for a girl like her."

Instant relief. This was how Edward made me feel. Instant emotions. Instant happiness, instant annoyance, instant shock, instant jealousy.

"Oh," I said, and I was mortified to hear myself much lighter. Such an immediate effect he had on me. "Okay."

He laughed again, pulling me in for a hug. "Silly Bella," he muttered. "Have you ever seen me looking at another girl than my sister?"

He stiffened then, making me curious. He muttered something inaudible before pulling away. He cleared his throat and slipped out of bed, heading for his bathroom.

"You should go do your homework," he said coldly, abruptly moody. "Go, Bella."

I was confused, of course – I had felt confused at his constantly shifting moods for years. But I was used to them now, and I murmured my agreement before exiting his room.

His darkness worried me. He did not love himself – I could see that clearly. Although his friends and family loved him, he didn't seem to realize it. There was only one love he was interested in, and it seemed to be mine.

**Edward's Point of View**

Fight it. Turn away. Stop feeling.

Idiot.

I wanted to escape her. She was nothing but trouble. She was not good for me. I wanted to hate her, cast her away, and shut her away from my life.

But whenever I tried, I kept coming back to her, like an endless cycle of hell. I lived in this constant dread and fear – what if someone were to find out my true feelings for her?

It was forbidden. She was off-limits. She was my sister. My blood flowed in her veins. We shared the same genes. Totally not right.

I stared at the mirror in my bathroom. The monster stared back at me, the green-eyed demon that always brought up the worst in me. He was my everything, my entire life. He controlled me. He didn't allow me to escape from her, because he knew exactly well that she was the only thing that could stop me. She was my only savior. My drug. My everything. My life.

"Bastard," I growled, thinking back to the foolish boy who had dared to covet her. If I ever found out who this boy was, he would answer to me.

The monster agreed. We would kill him together, slowly, painfully.

Frustrated, I turned my back on my reflection, running my fingers through my messy hair. Maybe the monster and I weren't that different at all. Maybe we were really one, aiming for the same goal, wanting only one person for ourselves.

Isabella Marie Cullen. Somewhere along the way, I had fallen in love with my own sister.

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><p><strong>AN: Please be patient with this story! It contains a rather dark theme that some of you may not be very comfortable with, and you may think that this should be rated M. But I've never written a mature story before, and I don't really plan to go deeply into mature scenes. I always keep intimate scenes vague, something my regular readers already know. So don't expect much!<strong>

**Review! I want to know what you think of the beginning! It's not much to go on about, but you know me. I still want to know what you're thinking, even before you've started reading it! Thanks so much!**


	2. Chapter 2: Influence

**Author's Note: Sorry the update is so late! I know you've all been very curious about how the story will progress after I left you hanging in the first chapter! Not ideal, I know, but please bear with me.**

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM! PLEASE READ!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

_**Fifteen Years Old**_

Being a freshman sucked. Especially since there was a queen bee ruling Forks High School, with her little backup sluts trailing her. She lived to bother freshmen and her enemies. Her name was Tanya Denali, and I loathed her. There was no need for a good reason, for it was enough that she was obsessed with my brother.

She thought it would be amusing to antagonize me halfway through the second semester. Apparently, she'd _finally_ heard somewhere that the last Cullen sibling had finally entered high school. She tracked me down in the cafeteria, where I was eating and laughing with a good friend of mine since kindergarten, Angela Weber.

She appeared in front of me, with her model body, plastic nose and chest, and swaying hips. Her skirt must have been barely five inches long, and she wore killer heels. I felt a pang of envy, not because she was prettier than I was, but because she would be noticed by everyone, including Edward.

"So," Tanya cooed, fake smiling at me as though I was a kid. "You're the baby sister, huh? Isabella, right?"

I couldn't resist glaring up at her, though she didn't seem to notice my hostile gaze. "Bella," I corrected in a hard voice. "What's it to you?"

Angela kicked me under the table. When I glanced at her briefly, she was pleading me silently not to piss the queen bee off. Whatever. Like I cared.

"Alice talks a lot about you," Tanya said. "She adores you a lot."

"Yeah, I know." She didn't need to pretend that she was close with Alice – my sister hated her. And I already knew exactly how much she adored me. I didn't need to be told by an outsider.

"But Edward doesn't," she mused, with an edge to her voice. Instantly, I knew that she was digging for information. "He mentions you once in a while, but he's so cryptic all the time. And he snaps at anyone who asks about you. Maybe you're not close with him?"

I nearly snorted with laughter. "Yeah," I said sarcastically. "I hate him."

Angela pursed her lips at that, trying to suppress her amusement.

Tanya totally missed the sarcasm. Her owl eyes widened in mock surprise. "You hate your own brother? Why?"

I couldn't help but smile and answer darkly, something I'd picked up from spending too much time with him. "Because he's an overprotective asshole."

Fifteen years of living with Edward Cullen has taught me a lot of things. Only a few main things were important to me. One: He was consumed by the constant darkness that he lived in. Two: He was possessive, overprotective, and seductive, even to his own sister. Three: He made me feel like a hormonal teenaged girl when it was totally wrong to be attracted in _that_ way to your own brother. Four: His coldness and cryptic behaviors eventually got on your nerves, even if he was my favorite sibling. And five: I loved him, but let's face the truth. He was an asshole.

Angela inhaled, though it was not my first time saying it. She knew that I really thought this of my brother.

"That he is," Alice agreed, suddenly appearing behind me to save my ass, not from Tanya, but from Edward. My sister knew perfectly well that I could hold my own, but Edward must be around here somewhere if she'd decided to interfere to shut me up. He would be extremely angry if I talked trash about him to other people. No, strike that, he would be _pissed_ if he heard his favorite sister insulting him, period, even if she had been talking to herself.

"Hi, Alice!" Tanya gushed, making my sister grimace. "Didn't see you there!"

Alice's eyes flashed. Ooh, making a jab at her short height. Bad move – the only people allowed to tease her about her height were her family and friends. And Tanya Denali was most definitely _not_ her friend.

"Well, _I_ saw you perfectly well," she retorted. "With your huge fake boobs and cheap heels. I'll give you a little tip, Denali: Edward will never look at a girl like you. He has high standards."

My smile vanished. I didn't like the idea of him even _having_ a standard. "Jerk," I mumbled under my breath.

Alice nudged me inconspicuously, her radar ears having heard everything. She shot me a warning look, and I glanced at the cafeteria doorway to see our dear brother looking quite angry as he strode toward us purposefully.

Of course, Edward knew exactly what I thought of him. We didn't have secrets, other than little personal ones, like my monthly cycle or our emotions. He had gotten extremely pissed when I'd first told him what I thought about him, but then, he had confused me when he had muttered to himself, "You're right. I _am_ an asshole."

I wasn't afraid to let my honesty show, but my elder siblings were never eager to antagonize our stoic brother.

"Of course he will," Tanya said, flashing her winning smile. She didn't notice the shadow of doom looming over us. Oh, well, too late.

"Of course I won't," Edward said in his musical, velvety voice. It had a dangerously calm edge to it. "Care to explain to me why you're bothering my sisters, Tanya?"

"Oh, I was just saying hi to your little sister," Tanya said, her eyes widening innocently and linking her arm through his. "She's really cute!"

I successfully resisted the urge to smack her and wring her bleached blonde hair. _Get your hands off him now._ And I was far from _cute_.

Edward looked at me for confirmation. But I didn't see his inquisitive gaze, for I was glaring daggers at the insufferable girl who refused to let go of him. I swear, if she didn't let go of him now, I would kill her this very moment.

Edward noticed my death glare immediately. And, knowing my temper, he intervened at once. He probably wasn't afraid of anything, except me being angry at something, which was why he was always trying to find out the cause of my anger. It was better to solve the problem instantly rather than later, because I was famous for holding grudges. Don't forgive, don't forget.

"Let go of me, Tanya," he threatened. "Or you'll regret it."

"Oh, come on, Eddie," she simpered. "Don't be embarrassed. Your sisters will understand."

When he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, Alice squeezed my shoulder anxiously. She was afraid of the storm that was coming. But I wasn't worried. Edward wouldn't dare get angry with his siblings like he would with people he did not like.

"Get off me," he hissed. His green eyes flashed dangerously. Yup, he was angry.

Tanya got the message and let go immediately. "Are you angry with me, Eddie?" she pouted.

"Don't call me Eddie."

"But-"

"Leave. Don't ever talk to my sisters again."

Tanya looked wary. "Okay." She scurried away without another word.

Alice sighed in relief. "Thank you, Edward. I was afraid she would say something to Bella."

"She wouldn't dare," Edward murmured, staring at my indifferent expression. "Not while I'm around." He turned to leave. Then, he glanced back briefly and tossed out, "Angela."

Angela was terrified of Edward. His constant mood swings unnerved her. She could never understand how I got him to listen to me. Still, Edward liked Angela, since she'd been my best friend for years now without fail. When I told her, she had still been terrified, if not more.

"Edward," she squeaked out.

I could've sworn he winked at me in amusement before strolling off toward his friends. I smirked at Angela. "I told you. And you won't believe me."

"If that's his way of saying that he approves of my friendship with you, then I'll say goodbye to you right now," Angela said gravely. "He scares me so much."

Alice laughed, back to her usual airy self. She sat next to me and stole a fry from my tray. "Edward is pretty moody, but he doesn't harm girls."

"Except for Tanya?" Angela peeked back at his table.

"Except for girls who annoy him," Alice clarified. "Bella was telling the truth when she said that he has nothing against you. That's just the way he is."

"Why?"

At her question, Alice's eyes grew far away, recalling past memories. I took a sip of my lemonade, knowing exactly what she was remembering.

"I don't know," she finally murmured. "He used to be such a bright boy, always smiling and laughing. And then, one day, he just...stopped. It was like he had an epiphany or something. Like he'd come to the conclusion that the world doesn't care for him...like he'd given up on hope."

I vaguely recalled the days when he had laughed at Emmett's jokes with me. And then...nothing. There were only weird, possessive stares at me now. He was always watching me, observing my every move. I had become everything to him.

**Edward's Point of View**

There was a time when I had smiled and laughed along with my siblings. Back then, I had no idea how cruel the world could be, oblivious to the unfairness of it all. Until the age of ten, when I'd finally began realizing the truth: The love I felt for Emmett and Alice was very different than what I felt for Bella.

Shocked, I began to shut out the world. I grew cold and harsh to protect myself. I was scared that I would get hurt, that no one could be trusted. I tried to shut even Bella out, and for a while, I'd left her in complete hurt and confusion as I battled with my inner demons.

Once I realized that the demons were a part of me, and that I couldn't shut them out, I came back to her, though I was no longer the fun, playful brother she'd once known. While my entire family had been perplexed by the sudden change, Bella had been the only one who had accepted me without question. And I'd fallen even deeper. I had no way out.

She was the only one who could save me, and yet, she didn't seem to be sharing the same interest. Of course she didn't. She was proper, she was _normal_. She would never fall in love with her own brother.

It was me. I was the foolish one. I was the freak. And I couldn't find the right way to go. I was living in a world of constant inner struggle, darkness, and confusion. This turmoil that surrounded me all the time had slowly taken away my innocence...until I was imagining my sister next to me, whispering that she loved me.

I reached puberty, and I began fantasizing. How would her skin feel? Her lips? I imagined undressing her, seeing her beautiful, perfect figure...and she would be mine. All mine. I would devour her.

Why me? Why did I have to be stuck in this horrible life? Why couldn't I have had a normal life? I could've fallen in love with a perfectly nice girl who was not related to me, and I could've given Bella the brotherly love that she rightly deserved.

I was constantly asking myself the same questions when I was around her. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? What is she thinking?

I found myself letting go of my insecurities when I was with her. It was too easy to be myself around her. And I would go too far. I would act, not like a brother, but a man who was in love with a woman.

I was in the darkness. I was continuously battling with my inner demons. And as time passed, I was growing uncertain. I didn't know if this was a war I could win.

**Bella's Point of View**

Alice clucked her tongue disapprovingly as Edward left us by his car to go meet his girlfriend. Whoever he was dating this time, she'd better brace herself. Because Edward Asshole Cullen was going to be dumping her after he had sex with her in the janitor's closet right between third and fourth period today.

"I heard he's been hitting on Tanya this week," my sister said. "He is such a player. When he first told us that he was dating Lauren, I thought it was just another phase. You know, like the time when he was obsessed with collecting cars when he was, like, eight? But this is not good. He got bored with his collection within three months. This has been going on for nearly the entire year."

I leaned against his Volvo, crossing my arms. Yes, I had been furious when he'd first started dating. He'd ignored me for an entire week before dumping his first girlfriend. He came running back into my arms. After a week with me, he left me again to pursue another girl. And on and on the cycle went.

My siblings didn't understand why I let him do this. Why I let him use me. I didn't know either. I just knew that if I shut him out completely, I would break down, and he would be ruined. We would both be damaged beyond repair. We were _too_ reliant on each other. And it was much too late to mess with the status quo now, even if it wasn't healthy.

I didn't like seeing him in the arms of another girl, but I'd quickly learned that this was his new method of coping. I didn't know what he was running away from, but the whole one-night stand method with a hundred girls didn't seem to be helping him at all. I would think that he would've given up a long time ago.

My hormones were in high rage at fifteen. Fifteen... The age my dear sister lost her virginity to her long-term boyfriend, Jasper Hale.

I knew perfectly well why my heart began to beat faster whenever Edward was around. I knew why he made my lips go dry every time he flashed me his crooked smile. I knew why I felt jealous every time a girl kissed him.

I had a little crush on my own brother. It was shocking. It was new. It was _wrong_.

I hadn't told anyone, hoping that my feelings would settle quickly. I never lingered on crushes for very long. Maybe it was normal to be crushing on him. After all, he was someone that I respected and looked up to. He was handsome and sexy. Maybe I was simply crushing on the idea of him. Yes, that was it.

It had to be it. He would never forgive me if his favorite sister fell in love with him. First, he would think me to be the unluckiest person in the world to be loving someone like him. Second, he would force me to take back everything I said...and never speak those words ever again.

**Edward's Point of View**

"Tanya," I murmured in her ear as I ran my hand down her waist. "Why don't we skip fourth period?"

She had been expecting it. And she looked totally convinced that she could change me, make me not dump her after having sex and make her into my girlfriend. Fat chance.

Still, I didn't say anything for the sake of my own amusement. It was always enjoyable to watch them think that they could change my methods...when in reality, I was only using them to try to forget Bella.

"Of course," Tanya cooed. "Jefferson's been getting on my nerves anyway. It would be a nice break away from him. With my sexy man." She stood on her toes to try to kiss me.

I turned my face away, my face instantly hardening. "Tanya," I warned.

She pouted. "I don't get why you never want to kiss."

_Because you're not her. I want _her_ to kiss me, not an idiotic slut._ _I don't care if I'm dating all of you to forget her. I still won't kiss anyone else but her._

The bell rang, and I dragged her into the janitor's closet. Her nasal giggling was getting on my nerves, but I shut her up by yanking down her skirt as soon as the door closed behind me. She was so loud, though, and it was getting freaking annoying.

Ten minutes into this, and I found myself gritting my teeth as I growled, "Will you shut up? We're going to get caught."

"I can't help it," she said, gazing up at me lustfully. "You make me feel so good."

I ignored her. She tried her best to keep quiet for a while, and I closed my eyes as I entered in and out. In. Out. In. Out. And all the while, I found myself having sex with Bella, not Tanya.

I began to feel frustrated. Why was this never working? There was a huge difference between them. Bella was a beautiful brunette. Tanya was a fake bleached blonde. How could I imagine myself having sex with Bella with this stupid girl?

Aggravated at her resumed noises, I gave up. Tanya couldn't replace Bella. She couldn't help me forget. This was no use.

Tanya seemed to be reaching her climax. Abruptly, I stepped away from her, and she gave a cry of frustration and anger. "No, Edward!"

I looked at her coldly as I zipped up my pants. "I'm done." I really hadn't been very hard to begin with. She didn't turn me on. But Bella did.

"But _I_ wasn't!"

"You're so loud. I lost my interest in you. We're over."

Tanya looked so devastated that I felt inclined to laugh. _She_ had been the one dreaming of changing me, not me. I wasn't even sorry to let her down.

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me down. "Make love to me now!" she hissed.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled away easily. She winced at my tight grip. Her eyes widened at my hostile expression.

"Don't touch me, Denali," I said coldly. "I told you. I'm done with you."

"You-"

The door swung open. Startled, Tanya gasped and stepped back, instinctively covering up her private spot. I couldn't care less who saw us, and so I merely raised my eyebrow at the culprit.

But I was totally not expecting to see _her_. My eyes widened in horror as I realized that she'd heard everything. How long had she been standing there? This was one side of me that I'd hoped she would never have to see personally.

Perhaps I'd had an ulterior motive, another reason for resorting to these silly flings. I wanted to see if Bella would react. I wanted to see if she felt just as jealous as I did when other boys dared to even look at her.

But the fact that she had encountered this ugly side of me horrified me.

Bella looked almost as cold as I usually did. I suppose it was my fault. She'd been spending too much time with me. Her arms were crossed, exposing slight cleavage due to the V-neck sweater Alice had forced her to wear this morning. She was gazing lazily from Tanya to me.

"Well, what a lovely sight," she said sarcastically. Her musical voice was flat and unamused. She was angry. And I was pissed at myself for getting so careless.

"Close the door, Bella!" Tanya hissed. She glanced behind my sister nervously. "I am half naked! Now close it!"

Bella had indeed opened the door _widely_, as if she didn't care who saw. Again, another thing she had in common with me. It wasn't Tanya's reputation I wanted to protect – it was Bella I wanted to shield from the harsh world.

"Nobody told you to get half naked," Bella said mildly, making no move to close the door. Her foot was holding the door open, the doorknob way out of reach for Tanya. "Choices, Tanya. And what a wise choice you made to ditch class and have sex with my brother. You should've ditched school instead and gone somewhere more private."

I wasn't fooled by her light tone. She was angry. Beyond angry. That scared me. I was probably getting more than a scolding from my little sister later.

"You can't even call that sex," Tanya said in disgust, glaring at me. "I didn't even get to have my pleasure."

"That...is...disgusting," Bella said, wrinkling her nose slightly. "I did not need to know that."

"Bella," I said, wishing she would look at me. She didn't. She purposely avoided my eyes.

"I was walking past the hallway on my way back from the bathroom," she said. "And, my! I totally forgot that this was the closet that my loving brother chooses to have sex with his toys! Just my luck. Believe me, if I had remembered..." Her face darkened. "I would've taken the long way around."

"Watch your mouth!" Tanya spat. "I'm not his toy! I happen to be his girlfriend!"

"Watch _your_ mouth," I shot back at her coldly, instantly defending Bella. "She happens to be my little sister, and I happen to have just dumped you. Come on, Bella." I left Tanya half naked in the janitor's closet and pulled Bella away from the scene.

She struggled violently – yes, she was so angry with me. Still, I didn't let go until we were in the parking lot, in front of my Volvo.

"Let go of me!" she snapped. "Don't touch me with your hands. You _touched_ her with your hands!"

I let her go instantly. "You weren't supposed to see that." I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.

"No, I definitely wasn't," she snorted. "I was _going_ to just leave, but then, I decided that the opportunity was too sweet to pass up. I'm definitely spilling that shit to Mom."

I gazed at her. "I don't care what you tell Esme. I just want you to forget everything that you saw right now."

Her eyes flashed. "Too late. It's been burned into my brain."

I sighed, frustrated. "Look, Bella. I know that what you saw looked wrong, but I swear I was dumping her when you opened the door."

Her chin came up. "I don't give a shit."

The hell she didn't. I knew her too well to believe her attempts at lying. "Oh, you don't?" I smirked at her. "You suck at lying, Bella."

She flushed lightly. "I'm telling Mom, I'm telling Dad, I'm definitely telling Emmett and Alice. Rosalie and Jasper too – I know how much crap they can give you."

I was amused at her antics. "Do I look like I care?"

"No, you don't," she admitted. "But at least they'll be disappointed in you."

My smile fell and my eyes narrowed. She could play dirty when she wanted to, my little angel. I just wanted to push her against the car and kiss her to shut her up. How could one teenaged girl make me so angry, so frustrated, and so annoyed? And yet, I still loved her like crazy.

She smelled victory. She turned to leave. "Don't bother running to me tonight, Edward. I don't care if you dumped your slut girlfriend five minutes ago – I'll be too tired to humor you tonight."

I watched her leave. If she had turned back, she would've seen me stare after her with a look that would not have been appropriate for a brother to wear as he stared at his sister.

She was angry. She had been a bitch to both Tanya and me. But why did I find that so damn sexy? So...appealing?

She couldn't be _jealous_...could she?

**Bella's Point of View**

_**Sixteen Years Old**_

I couldn't resist a smile when Alice waved at me from her seat. She was seated amongst the seniors who were graduating this year. She was wearing her yellow cap and gown over her turquoise mini dress. Her hair was spiky as usual, and I could see her emphasized makeup from all the way over here.

I was sitting between Esme and Edward. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were also here somewhere, but as they hadn't arrived with us, they were probably somewhere in the crowd together, watching Alice graduate. I thought it had been very sweet of them to come, but of course, they were already on summer vacation from the University of Washington.

Emmett was majoring in business. Rosalie was into engineering, which had first surprised me, and her twin brother Jasper was into psychology. They were all intelligent and brilliant, but I knew that they would be annoying before long. It was good to have them home, but I'd also liked the quiet threesome of Alice, Edward, and I.

Edward shifted uncomfortably beside me. He looked rather somber today. He had refused to wear a suit to the ceremony, but he had compromised by wearing jeans, a gray shirt, and a blue cardigan that seemed appropriate. I, however, had grudgingly got into a pink flowing dress that came up to my knees and _heels_. I could hardly walk in them, much less get around.

My brother looked bored. Now that Alice was leaving high school as well, we would each be moving up a grade level. He would be eighteen in June, and I would be entering junior hell at seventeen.

Edward looked at me, then glanced down. He stiffened at what he saw. He swallowed hard before looking away, staring determinedly at Alice. Concerned, I leaned toward him as the valedictorian kept speaking. "Edward? What's wrong?"

He shook his head minutely. "Nothing," he mumbled gruffly.

"Tell me." I glanced at Carlisle and Esme, who were watching Alice with shining eyes, completely oblivious.

Edward looked unhappy. Was it because he missed his most recent fling, Jessica Stanley? I nearly laughed. Of course not, what a thought! He hated her just as much as he hated all his other girlfriends. I still had no idea why he even bothered to date them.

He was frowning slightly, probably wondering how to word his discomfort. Finally, he said in an indifferent expression but disapproving tone, "You should've worn jeans."

I looked down at my outfit in surprise. That was unexpected. "Alice made me wear it."

"Figures," he said darkly. "Alice."

What the hell? That _couldn't_ be why he looked so uncomfortable.

"Who cares?" I said. "It's a formal occasion."

"It's semi-formal," he snapped back. "A jean and a blouse would've sufficed."

I scowled at him. Moody Edward was back. He had remained mercifully silent today...until now. I liked him better when he wasn't talking. But I knew that it was just another show. He usually always talked like this in public, probably afraid of how people might judge.

"Whatever. I like this dress," I lied, irritated.

He was looking straight ahead, but a corner of his mouth pulled up in grudging amusement. "Liar," he whispered.

Damn it. He never fell for my lies. He always saw right through me, even without watching me. Stupid, moody, annoying brother. I wanted to smack him in the head.

The senior class rose suddenly, drawing my attention back to the front again. They threw their caps in the air before cheering loudly, and the crowd began to clap and cheer with them. Thank goodness it was over. I wanted to go find my other brother – the brother that would soon take the place of my favorite brother – and hug the life out of him. I needed a normal sibling right now, not a moody asshole.

"Bella, get back here!" Edward demanded as I fought my way across the crowd, abandoning him and our parents.

Whatever. I'm not listening to you.

"Where are you going?" he called, sounding frustrated.

And he was right to be frustrated. He'd probably thought that I was going to look for Alice, but I knew that she would find me later herself. She was good at sniffing out her family and friends. No, I was looking for Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper.

There! I spotted them sitting in the way corner of the back, not even bothering to get up and fight across the crowd. They looked quite lazy and relaxed as they talked quietly among themselves, occasionally smiling or laughing at a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't even paid attention to the ceremony.

Emmett saw me first. He perked up and gave me a huge smile, holding out his arms. "Bella!"

I jumped onto his lap, causing him to groan mockingly and put his arms around me. I hugged him tightly, but he squeezed the living daylights out of me.

"Jeez, Em!"

"How are you?" he asked. He squinted up at me. "What is that? You have something on your face."

Instinctively, I reached up and felt my face. "What?"

He chuckled. "Why do you wear beauty on your face, Bella? You're perfect the way you are."

I slapped his shoulder lightly. "You are _such_ an older brother."

He laughed good-naturedly. I turned to Rosalie and Jasper, who was smiling at our playfulness.

"Shouldn't you be fighting tooth and nail to wrestle through the crowds, Jazz?" I asked. "That's your girlfriend down there. She's graduating."

"And I'm proud of her," he replied. "But I'm not crazy enough to dive into that dangerous crowd. She'll find me later."

"I like your dress," Rosalie commented, reaching out to feel the fabric. "Alice picked it out, huh?"

"Of course."

Emmett looked at my dress, seemingly at my exposed cleavage. Then, he looked down at my legs, then started laughing. "Oh, brother. I can just imagine the look on Eddie's face. He probably didn't like your dress, huh?"

"You're right," a smooth, velvety voice answered. "I don't."

I turned my head to stick my tongue out at Edward, who had just arrived. He looked cross, annoyed that I'd left him behind.

He just sighed and held out his hand. "Bella, get down from Emmett's lap. He's big, but he's not a chair. Besides, you're wearing a skirt."

"Overprotective," Emmett sang. "I'm your elder brother, dude. I think Bella looks pretty, so why should you complain?"

Edward scowled. "I was _going_ to say that I missed arguing with you, but I think I'll just take it back. I don't know why I missed it – you're so annoying."

"Be nice, Edward," I chided, frowning. "We haven't seen them in years."

"Two months, Bella. That isn't years." He looked disapproving.

I shrugged. "Feels like two years. Right, Emmy?"

Emmett grimaced at the nickname, but answered grudgingly as the Hale twins laughed. "Sure, Belly."

I snickered. If he thought that I would get annoyed at that nickname, he thought wrong. I didn't care what he called me...usually. There were always exceptions if I was in a cranky mood.

"Come here," Edward ordered. "Now."

Rosalie's eyes narrowed. The Hale twins were like an extended family to us, and she and Jasper were like my siblings. And they, too, were very overprotective of the baby.

"Cut it out, Edward," she snapped, scowling. "Leave Bella alone. She doesn't have to do anything you want her to do. She's not your daughter."

Edward squinted at her, looking like he was about to retort harshly. Instead, he muttered, "And thank heavens for that."

"How long are you staying?" I asked eagerly.

"The entire summer," Rosalie answered, her expression warm again as she addressed me. "So we'll have lots of time together."

"Yay!"

"Yippee," Edward said dully. "You don't mind if I stay out of your way, do you?"

"Of course we wouldn't mind," Rosalie snapped.

"Cut it out, you two," Jasper said, always the peacemaker. "Come on. We'll be united together for the first time in months. Let's all play nice, alright?" He grinned at me. "Don't I get a hug too?"

I scrambled off from Emmett's lap, despite his protests, and sat on Jasper's lap instead, hugging him tightly. "I missed your silence, Jasper. Your girlfriend happens to be too loud."

He laughed as he patted my back. "You'd better get off now. Edward's getting pissed."

But before I could even look back at him, there came a loud, familiar squeal, and I was suddenly jostled out of Jasper's lap. A pixie pushed me away from her boyfriend so that she could kiss him. She pushed her own sister away.

I would've tripped over my heels if it hadn't been for Edward's quick intervention. He darted forward and caught me easily. I was aware of his hands on my waist, and my heart began beating faster. I was blushing too. Damn it.

"Alice," Edward barked, glaring daggers at our sister. "Watch it. Bella nearly fell down!"

Alice pulled away from Jasper. "Sorry, Bella. Are you okay? I didn't mean to push you so hard."

"Aw, look at her," Emmett teased. "Clumsy Bella. She still blushes like crazy whenever she trips."

Totally wrong, brother. That is _not_ why I'm blushing!

Edward huffed indignantly. "You're all dangerous. Come on, Bella. I'm taking you home."

This time, I didn't complain. The sooner I got home, the sooner I got out of this dangerous outfit. Obediently, I trailed after Edward, trying to catch up with his long legs and trying to free my hand. He was gripping hard, as though he didn't want to let me go.

Behind us, the others laughed and followed us, chattering away without a care in the world. But _I_ had a problem. I had a _big_ problem.

What was I going to do about my rapidly beating heart? Edward Cullen was such a bad influence on me.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay. Here's the thing. Yesterday, I got a PM from someone, saying that someone was plagiarizing my story, taking it and "making it better." That's not okay. I'm very proud of my stories, proud of my creativity and what I write about. I'm happy that I get good responses from my readers and that keeps me going. But plagiarizing and claiming to make it better does <strong>_**not**_** make it yours. I ask all of you to respect my privacy and everything that I write, because they don't come from you. They come from my brain, my imagination, and they don't belong to you. **

**So if you are the one who is doing it, then please stop. It offends me, and I really don't want to have to make an issue out of this. And for those of you who notice that my stories are being abused without permission, please PM me immediately. If the author claims to already have my permission to do something with my stories, please PM me to make sure. I usually turn down offers of translating my stories and I never allow people to use my story for anything at all. So if they claim that they have my permission, they're most likely lying. So please PM me of your suspicions ASAP if this happens. **

**Thank you so much to **_**Terrabith**_** who PMed me about this situation. You're a lifesaver, and I'm dedicating this chapter to you. ;) Keep being cool like you are.**

**I hope you'll all help me be on the lookout for dishonest writers out there. This experience has horrified and offended me very much, and I'm hoping to put a stop to any wrongdoing before it gets out of hand. Thanks a lot, everyone. **


	3. Chapter 3: Breather

**Author's Note: You've waited long enough! Read on to find out what's next!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

_**Seventeen Years Old**_

I nodded my head slightly to the beat as I unraveled a math problem. I frowned when I didn't get the right answer. Checking the back of the book, then checking my work again. Doing it again and again.

Finally, I grew frustrated and threw my pencil down. I leaned back in my chair, stretching. I covered my eyes with my arm, sighing. I hated math so much.

_"Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk... Because of you-"_

I was startled when my left earphone was suddenly ripped out of my ear. I glanced up to see my loving brother scowling at me. As usual, my heart began to beat faster, and I shrank back mentally. I immediately dropped my gaze from his eyes to a random spot next to him.

"How loud is the volume?" he snapped. "I knocked on your door five times."

I winced internally. "Sorry," I murmured, still avoiding his gaze.

I'd grown quiet and shy over the past few months. It was partly because of school: I had so much studying to do that I'd simply shut away the world, withdrawing into myself. It was easier to cope by simply not talking to people. Now, I couldn't even speak my mind to Edward without being intimidated by his moodiness.

The way I felt about him was another reason. I was constantly facing confusion when he was around, which was always. He hardly let me out of his sight. With the start of second semester of his senior year, he had given up on his little flings. Now, he just hung around with his friends, looking bored and experiencing senioritis.

I knew that this wasn't right. There was definitely something wrong with me. How could I have a crush on my own brother? It didn't seem right. It _wasn't_ right. If anyone knew, they would send me to a mental hospital or something. Maybe it was because of my many concussions that I'd experienced as a child. I just wanted Edward to graduate so that I could have the house all to myself, with no sister to bother me with her makeovers and no brothers to annoy me and flash me seductive looks.

It _had_ be respect. I simply looked up to him. He was important to me. He was a role model. That's why I was mistaking this for a crush.

Right?

His voice softened. "I didn't mean to snap. I was just worried. I'm sorry I just came in without your permission."

I shrugged halfheartedly. "Did you need something?"

He hesitated before sitting down gingerly on the edge of my bed. "I just...wanted to see you. I guess." He sounded awkward for the first time in a long while.

I looked back at him, curious. I noticed a folded piece of paper in his hand. "What's that?"

He looked down, then cracked a slight smile. It was the first genuine smile that I'd seen on his handsome face since...well, forever. "I got accepted."

I raised my eyebrow. "I thought you only applied to UW and Princeton. You already got accepted into both."

I swear he looked guilty. "I sort of...kind of...applied for other colleges too."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, surprised. "Why didn't you tell Mom and Dad?"

He pursed his lips. "I wasn't confident. And they're just too far from home. Even if I did get in, I don't want to leave." He looked at me. His voice was soft as he added, "I don't want to be too far away from you."

I cocked my head slightly. There was a double meaning behind those words, but I knew that he wouldn't budge if I asked him. I took off my remaining earphone and placed it on the desk. I joined him on my bed, and he faced me slowly, watching my face carefully.

"Why would you think that you wouldn't get in?" I asked. "You've worked hard all through high school. You were just a bit...flighty. That's all."

He cracked a small, reluctant smile. "Flighty," he agreed. "But those days are over. I just can't do that anymore."

I reached out halfway for the paper. "May I?"

He gave it to me after a moment of contemplation. My eyes widened as I instantly recognized the emblem on the top corner of the page. "No way."

He looked happy. _Really _happy. "Yes way." He smirked. "I'm good enough, apparently."

I looked up at him in wonder. "You have to go. You know that, right? You can't turn down _Harvard_."

His face fell. "But Bella..." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "It's too far. I can't go."

"Of course you can go," I urged. "It's Harvard. You have to go. They're even paying for half your tuition. Go and do whatever you want to do. You want to be a lawyer. Go do it!"

He was frowning. He laid down on the bed, closing his eyes. "But..." His voice was very quiet. "I'll miss you." He sounded pained, like the truth was physically hurting him.

A chill went down my spine. It wasn't a playful phrase anymore. It wasn't a temporary thing. It was like...like he really meant it...from a different point of view.

I frowned in concern. I reached out and covered his left hand with my right. "And I'll miss you," I told him. "But you have to go. You can't let anything come between you and your future."

Edward's brows creased. Suddenly, he sat up and pulled me into a bone-breaking hug. "Ask me not to go," he murmured. "Please."

I was shocked, stunned. I was aware of my heart picking up pace. It was so loud I was afraid that Edward could hear me. "What's wrong with you? Why don't you want to go?"

"I don't want to leave you alone." He sounded frustrated.

I laughed breathlessly. I wasn't amused, but rather, alarmed. If he didn't let go quickly, I wouldn't know what to do. I hoped he didn't notice. "Are you being a brother again?" I asked, feeling my heart sink at the truth of those words. _Stop hoping, Bella! He's your brother!_ "I'm not a child anymore."

"You're not," he agreed, still not letting me go. "But I just can't help but worry." A edge of possessiveness entered his tone.

"I'm going to be a senior. I'm going to graduate from high school too. So don't worry about me and go worry about yourself."

"Why can't you be my twin or something?" he mumbled. "Then we could leave together, and I wouldn't have to worry."

"Even if I was your twin, there's no guarantee that I would've gotten into Harvard with you."

"Why not? You're a good student." He sounded drained, as though extremely tired. His arms tightened.

I pulled away. "I doubt I'm Harvard material."

He smiled crookedly. "We can always persuade them."

"You mean _you_ will persuade them," I corrected, shaking my head. "Through bribery and seduction? Count me out."

There was a knock on my door. "Come in," I called.

Carlisle stood there, looking surprised. "Of course you two are together," he said, shaking his head and smiling in amusement. "What are you two devils talking about?"

"How to ruin your evening," Edward mumbled, laying down on my bed.

Carlisle chuckled. "Oh, I doubt it," he said easily. "We have a pretty good tolerance for all our children."

I jumped up, beaming. "Dad, look! Edward got accepted into Harvard!"

Carlisle's eyes widened as he looked over the letter I gave him. "Is this true, Edward?"

"Then would it be a forgery?" Edward snorted, still gazing up at the ceiling. "Yes, I applied."

Carlisle broke into a huge smile. "Wow. That's just...wow. Esme!" He disappeared down the stairs. "You two, come down to dinner. Esme, you'll never believe it!"

"Why?" Edward wondered. "Do I seem that stupid? Why do people believe that I can't get into an Ivy League?"

"Oh, come on, Edward," I said, joining him again. I poked his side. "It's just that you don't seem very active when it comes to studying. That's all. People know you're perfectly capable and more than intelligent."

Edward eyed me, then broke into a small smile. He poked my stomach, and I doubled over, laughing. "Hey!"

He began tickling me mercilessly as we both laughed...like old times. We stopped abruptly when there came a loud shriek from downstairs. "EDWARD!"

I frowned. "Is Alice back?"

"Now we know where Alice got her famous squeals from," Edward grumbled. "COMING, MOM!"

"EDWARD, GET DOWN HERE!" Esme squealed gleefully. "Oh, I can't believe it! Carlisle!"

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

I smiled. "You're going to Harvard. You're not getting out of it."

But I felt saddened at the thought of him leaving me. I would miss his moody tempers and occasional, breathtaking smiles. I would miss his piercing, yet beautiful green eyes, and I would miss his familiar tall figure walking around the house. I would miss his overprotective, possessive nature. Who would rescue me from Mike Newton? From all those bratty girls?

Despite all these, I knew I would also be relieved to see him leave. I needed a breather from all his intense staring and seductive actions.

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><p><strong>AN: It's short, and I'm sorry. Hey, at least I updated, right? And thank you everyone to who has been so supportive of me over the plagiarism thing. Again, please be on the lookout for those horrible, horrible people, and be careful if you're a writer yourself! Review, please!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Control

**Author's Note: HI! What up, people? So it's been a couple of weeks since my last update, so I thought it was time to post something up before y'all started sending me killer messages. ;) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

_**Eighteen Years Old**_

I had to admit, it was really nice to have the house all to myself, with my siblings gone. No teasing, no squeals and trips to the mall, and no intense, awkward staring. Just me. It was pure bliss.

Until, that is, the end of my senior year drew nearer, and the time came to pick colleges. And for my siblings to return for the summer. Colleges ended school early. That was one thing I was looking forward to. It would be nice to end the semester a few weeks early so that I could have a bit more of summer to enjoy.

On my third to last week of high school, Emmett and Alice came back, bringing Jasper and Rosalie with them. The girls gushed at how 'womanly' I'd become. The boys teased me about my newly formed curves, saying dramatically that I wasn't their little girl anymore.

I was amused at the way they still regarded me as their baby sister, but I had matured. There was no more whining or tattling to Mom. Mere acceptance and no more playing around.

"Aw, she's no fun anymore," Emmett said, frowning mockingly. "Bella, you gotta complain! That's the fun in teasing you."

"Exactly. I'm not going to give you the satisfaction."

Jasper chuckled. "All grown up, are we?" He put his arms around my shoulder and started to lead me back into the house, all the while whispering slyly, "Let's leave Emmett to deal with the luggage, shall we?"

"Oi! You get back here, you scheming..."

I rolled my eyes. "Very mature, Jasper."

He laughed. "Well, I would help, but I lost an arm wrestling match to Em yesterday, and I hit my arm hard. I'm pretty sore, so the least he could do is help out with the suitcases, right?"

In the end, Emmett brought in all the luggage, grumbling that the girls' suitcases contained rocks in them. He plopped down in the living room, where the rest of us had settled to talk.

"Any news about Edward?" Alice prompted. She grimaced. "That brother of ours never calls. Even if _we_ call, he hardly answers. And he's so vague about everything."

"Well, that's the same case here," Carlisle replied. "I suppose he's been busy studying. I hear Harvard's competition is no joke."

"When is he coming?" Jasper asked.

"We don't know," Esme answered. "He hasn't called lately. I'm sure it'll be sometime this week, or early next week."

"Cool," Emmett said, uninterested. He turned to his baby sibling, then grinned. "Alright, Bells. _Spill_. Where are you going next fall?"

I felt uncomfortable when everyone else turned expectantly toward me. I shrugged. "I don't know yet. I got into a few good ones, so I suppose I'll be going there."

"Where?" Alice pressed.

My eyes narrowed at her pushiness. "UW, NYU..."

Esme laughed fondly. "She's just being modest. Go on, sweetheart. Feel free to brag. Those things are meant for showing off sometimes."

I made a face at her. "I'm good."

"Oh, I'll brag for you, as a proud parent," Carlisle said, grinning. "Columbia, Cornell, Princeton..." He frowned. "I'm missing something here."

"Silly," Esme chided. "How could you forget Harvard?"

"Ah!"

Emmett's eyes were huge. Alice's eyes were shining. They both looked ready to explode.

"Uh-oh," I muttered. I quickly got up. "Excuse me." I made to escape.

"BELLA!" they both squealed.

I winced as they both threw themselves at me. I grimaced when they both started kissing my face. Thanks a lot, Dad. Parents...

Rosalie and Jasper weren't even trying to help me. Instead, they were laughing along with my family, and for a while, all I could hear was the sound of their congratulations. Jeez. I mean, I guess it was impressive to get into a lot of Ivy Leagues, but it wasn't like I picked a college yet.

"What's going on?" a familiar, bewildered voice snapped.

I froze, my heart starting to beat fast instantaneously. It was like an automatic response, as though I had been waiting for a stimulus.

I turned to see my handsome, sexy brother, staring straight at me. His hair was as messy as usual, though it was a bit shorter since the last time I'd seen him. He was wearing jeans and a maroon Harvard hoodie. He had dropped his luggage beside him.

He was doing nothing to pull me in, and yet, he simply did. I knew I was in for some trouble this summer. Literally.

"Edward!" Alice sang, mercifully pulling away and throwing herself at him. "I missed you!"

Edward was as dark as always. He did seem to have matured a bit more, growing out of his adolescence and teenaged years. He had never been awkward in his own body like I had, but he seemed to have grown out of his childhood days and into manhood. His shoulders were broader, and he had put on more muscle. And he was still stoic and cold.

He patted Alice's back neutrally, his face showing his discomfort and reluctance as he leaned back slightly to get away. One thing had definitely not changed: He was perfectly eager to avoid touching or hugging people, especially Alice. I didn't think anyone ever got used to her cheery, over-friendly greetings.

"I missed you too, Alice," he said. "Now will you get off?"

Alice pulled away, pouting. "You never called."

Edward shrugged carelessly. "It's Harvard. You don't have time to call home. It's all about winning the competition, or you'll get thrown to the wolves. Em, Jazz." He nodded.

"Eddie, my man!" Emmett said in his booming voice. "You're looking good! Could a woman have anything to do with that?"

Edward scowled. It was amazing how he could _never_ change. "Shut it, you." He strode over to hug Carlisle and Esme. He kissed Rosalie's cheek, then shook hands with Jasper.

He finally turned to me. He smiled crookedly, making my heart melt. "Bella." He held out his arms. "I missed you."

I had always been the exception in his life. I was always the recipient of his smiles, his hugs, and his affections. I had always been the source of his happiness, the only one who could bring the real Edward out. Deep down, I'd always known and kept faith: He was sensitive, vulnerable, and self-conscious. He was lonely, hurt, and ached for comfort. And I had been the solution to all those things.

A small smile slowly spreading across my face, I approached him and crushed myself against his broad, muscular chest. "I missed you too, Edward."

I pulled away first, since it looked like he was going to hug me forever. "How's Harvard?" I asked eagerly. "Tell us everything!" I dragged him over to the couch.

Edward trailed after me willingly. He sat next to me while Alice and Emmett sat next to their respective partners. "Like I said, it's all about the competition."

"So did you survive?" Emmett asked, raising his eyebrow.

"I wasn't too bad."

"Oh, being modest, are we?" Alice said slyly.

Edward shook his head at her. "Whatever, Alice. So, what was all the commotion about? You're all having fun without me?"

"You won't _believe_ all the colleges that Bella got into!" she gushed. "Better than you, Mr. Harvard!"

He raised his eyebrow. "Try me. I'll believe anything you tell me about Bella."

"Alice-" I began.

"Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, NYU, Columbia..."

"See?" Edward said, shrugging. "I believe you. Congratulations, Bella. I'm proud of you."

Naturally, my heart had to start beating faster. "Thanks."

"I would insist upon you joining us in UW, but that would just be a waste," Emmett said. "You should go to Harvard or something, with Edward."

Edward perked up noticeably. "That would be nice." His eyes smoldered as he pleaded silently.

"Yeah!" Alice chimed in. "You can become a lawyer too!"

"Oh, leave her alone, all of you," Rosalie chided. "It's her life, and it's her decision. Don't tell her what to do."

"Yeah," Jasper said, shooting me a sympathetic look. "The poor thing. This is the price she gets for being so intelligent."

I frowned. "Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Both." He laughed when I threw a cushion at him, catching it easily. "Chill, Bella."

"Well, I must say, it's a lot more lively with all the kids at home," Esme said lightly. "I'm glad. Bella's always too quiet. She never goes out."

"What?" Alice shrieked. "I was going to ask you about your boyfriend! Surely, you're dating now? You're old enough."

Edward glowered at her, looking dangerous. Nothing ever good happened when he was wearing that expression. "Alice..."

Emmett shook his head quickly. "Uh-uh. No _freaking_ way. Over my dead body is she dating _anyone_ at eighteen. She can wait until she's thirty."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Alright, you two. Cut the brotherly overprotectiveness.

You've let me date Jasper for years now."

"Well, you're _you_," Emmett reasoned. "No one can rein _you_ in. And besides, we know Jasper well. He knows for a fact that we'll never leave him alive if he destroys you."

"Thank you," Jasper said dryly.

"And besides," I added. "Who said I had a boyfriend?"

Alice chose to ignore the boys' glares directed toward her. "Surely, you've been asked out?"

"Sure. Lots of times."

Edward stiffened.

"And?" she prompted eagerly.

"And I stay home instead. How do you think I got into all those colleges?"

Our brothers looked immensely relieved at my bluntness, Edward especially so.

"Good," Emmett muttered under his breath. "I don't want to be an uncle so early in my life."

Rosalie clucked her tongue. "Stop exaggerating, Emmett. Seriously. It's not like she's stupid enough to get knocked up. Hell, no."

Alice looked extremely disappointed. "No boys? None at all?"

I hesitated for a moment before glancing at Esme. She smiled encouragingly. "Well, there is one. But it's nothing serious, really."

"Who is it?" Edward asked in a deadly voice.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at his tone. She had always been exasperated with his obvious obsession over me. She used the word _obsession_, not _overprotective_. If I asked her why, then she would respond as though the answer was obvious. "You're the one at the end of those constant, creepy stares. You should know better."

It made me think that she knew more than she was letting on. What could she know about Edward that I didn't know? I'd lived with Edward for eighteen years, my entire life. We'd spent most of our time together. And while they were friends, Edward and Rosalie weren't crazy about each other. There was no reason why she should know something about him that I didn't. And unfortunately, she refused to spill the beans, claiming that the peace in our family would be disrupted if she did so.

Whatever that meant.

Still, knowing that Edward could launch into a full raving tantrum if she pointed out his unnecessary reaction, Rosalie remained silent. She caught my eye, and shook her head minutely. Exasperation.

"I told you," I said patiently. "It's no one serious."

"Who is it?" he repeated ominously.

Shivering at his tightened grip on my wrist, I reluctantly answered, "Mike Newton."

His eyes flashed. Shit.

"That idiot?" Emmett asked incredulously. "No way. He actually had the guts to ask you out?"

"He asked me out a couple of times, but I never said yes," I said quickly, stealing glances at my temperamental brother. He looked ready to kill someone. "He's not my type."

Alice sniffed. "How dare he even look at you? You can never compare. I bet he's going to some community college in Seattle or something."

I raised my eyebrow, amused. "How'd you know?"

Rosalie cracked up. "No kidding? What a loser."

"Is he around?" Edward asked stiffly. "Still working at his parents' business?"

"Mm-hm." I frowned at him. "You're not going to go beat him up, are you?"

"You know me so well, Bella." His soft, musical voice caressed the words smoothly.

My eyes widened. "Forget I ever said anything. Please! You'll be making everything worse!"

"I'll make sure he never looks at you again." He looked like he meant what he was saying. I should've known. Edward hardly ever bluffed.

Carlisle was staring at Edward in confusion. He looked lost in thought, studying his second son carefully, probably wondering what was going on inside of his head.

In turn, I wondered if Carlisle and Esme had ever wondered how to handle Edward. He had been such a cheery little boy, and practically overnight, he had turned into a dark, cold child who hardly ever smiled anymore. Hadn't they been concerned? Hadn't they ever considered sending him to therapy? Not that Edward would've gone, of course.

"Don't," I said softly, patting his knee gently. "It's embarrassing."

His cold, green eyes softened slightly as he gazed at me. Finally, he looked away, leaning back against the sofa, and gazing up at the ceiling instead. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I would have to keep watch over him during his stay in Forks. He could slip out at any time to go threaten Mike. I couldn't trust him with these things.

"Well, dinner will be ready soon," Esme said, rising. "You kids can catch up. Have fun." She winked at us before disappearing into the kitchen. Carlisle, too, excused himself and headed upstairs to his study.

I listened silently as Alice and Rosalie gushed on about their experiences in the past year. Emmett and Jasper chipped in their pieces a few times while Edward remained quiet as always. He played with my long hair, twirling it around his long fingers.

I answered their questions efficiently, though my thoughts were elsewhere. Mostly, I was concentrating hard on trying not to hyperventilate. A year of separation had done me no good. Yes, I had gotten the space and breather that I'd so craved, time away from him. But I had missed him immensely, craved his affections and sexy smirks. And now, it was as though fate was asking for payment for giving me a year without Edward. It was as though my reactions had heightened during his absence. My brain was telling me this was wrong, but my body knew better. Or worse. Whichever perspective I preferred.

Finally unable to control myself any longer, I excused myself to help Esme. Although Alice and Emmett complained, I managed to leave the room without arousing any suspicions. I could feel Edward's gaze on me as I retreated from the room.

I lingered in the hallway momentarily, trying to calm myself. I could smell his delicious scent on me, and I hated the way I liked it. People had been telling me for years that my own brother was a bad influence on me. I'd known it deep down, and I knew it so well right now. But I was in too deep in his mind and thoughts to back out now. He would never leave me alone. He was like a monster, obsessed with keeping his prey with him at all times.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped inside the kitchen. "Hi, Mom. Can I help you with anything?"

Esme and I both loved cooking. We bonded well this way, cooking as we exchanged conversations. I loved these private moments, and I could tell that these sessions pleased her too.

Esme turned toward me, smiling. "Don't you want to catch up with the group?"

I shrugged, moving to wash my hands. "We sort of did. With Alice talking, we can catch up in less than thirty minutes. Besides, we can always talk later."

"If you're sure." Esme handed me the kitchen knife and gestured to a basket full of vegetables. "I'm making a veggie stir fry. You can cut these up. Be careful, please," she added. "We don't want another trip to Dr. Daddy, do we?"

I smiled sheepishly, then began to proceed on with my assignment. Esme chuckled as she turned to the stove to add spices to a stew. We worked in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the muffled laughter and voices coming from the living room. I noticed the lack of Edward's participation in their conversation.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. You can ask me anything."

I hesitated, wondering how to phrase the question. "I've been wondering for a long time, actually. Have you ever thought about how to handle him?"

Esme paused, looking back toward me. "Handle who?"

"Edward."

"What about him?" She sounded confused.

"Well, he's just so...cryptic. And stiff. And cold. He's so dark and dangerous. Have you never considered how to handle that?"

"Ah." She sighed. "Emmett and Alice has never asked me that before. They always kind of assumed that Carlisle and I knew what we were doing, that there was a reason we left him the way he is. But the truth is, we honestly didn't know what to do. He would never tell us the reason why he'd changed so suddenly, and we couldn't help him without knowing why. He refused to see a psychologist. There was really nothing we could do but sit back and watch. We still do watch him, even though he's technically an adult now." She paused, then murmured sadly, "He seems to be getting worse."

I was quiet, contemplating. "Do you have any theories? Why he acts the way he does?"

"I've always thought that he was hiding from something. That cold exterior is a mask." She shrugged. "I may not be as close to him as you are, but I do know my son. I still see the innocent, vulnerable Edward inside, and I haven't given up on him yet. I don't know what he's hiding from, but I trust that he'll face it soon. I'll always be hoping for the day he brings himself out of that shell."

I doubted that he would be able to do so. He had been lonely and cold for so long that sometimes, it felt as though he had forgotten his way out.

"And I trust that it'll be with your help that he pulls himself out," Esme added.

I looked at her, startled. "Huh?"

She smiled. "It's obvious that you mean the world to him. It's nice, in our perspective, to see two siblings so close to each other. He values your opinion, and he's always been your first priority. It's...cute."

I flushed at the compliment. I knew that Esme meant well, but somehow, the words didn't seem quite right to me. What was missing?

"Mom!" Emmett crowed as he bounded into the kitchen. "Is dinner ready yet?"

"Far from ready, sweetheart," Esme sang back.

His face fell. "But I'm starving. I've been driving all day."

"Too bad," I shot at him, and he glared at me mockingly.

The rest of the group filed in and sat on the bar stools, behind the counter. They began chatting with Esme while I finished up with the vegetables. I wondered vaguely where Edward was. He'd probably gone to put his suitcase in his room or something.

Washing my hands, I wandered away from the kitchen, looking for my phone. I thought I'd heard the slight ding earlier, indicating a message. When I didn't see it on the first floor, I began up the stairs slowly, not wanting to trip and visit Carlisle's medical room in the house.

Carlisle was just coming out of his study. He smiled at me as he closed the door behind him. "Where's the gang? Why aren't you with them?"

"In the kitchen," I answered. "I was just looking for my phone."

"It's been ringing quite a lot," Carlisle informed me, pursing his lips to suppress his amusement. "Probably that Newton boy."

I flushed again. "I told him no. What more can he want?"

He chuckled. "Well, you _are_ very beautiful, Bella, inside and out. He simply sees you as you are. He has good taste, that boy." He winked. "Come down when you're ready." He descended the stairs while I fanned my face, trying to get the pink out of my cheeks.

Exhaling slowly, I entered my room and headed directly for my cell phone, which was sitting on my desk. I checked my messages. Two were from Angela and her boyfriend Ben Cheney. They had sent me a picture of themselves at the movie theater in Port Angeles, rubbing in that I wasn't out dating someone. I shook my head, exasperated. As if I wanted to.

I had five messages and three missed calls from Mike. I debated whether or not I should block his number. All of his messages consisted of something along the lines of, "_Oh, by the way, we should totally go out._" Uh, no. I was _not_ wasting a summer day with _him_. I would rather spend it with moody, intimate Edward.

With my phone in my hand, I turned to leave the room when I saw Edward leaning against the wall casually. My hand flew up to my chest. "Jeez! Edward! Don't scare me like that again!"

He didn't apologize like he would usually do. He just stared at me, and I realized after a moment that he was wearing his dangerous expression again. And I was alone with him. Oh, snap. I hoped I remembered how to calm him down. It had been a year without him, after all.

"What's wrong?" I asked warily.

He was silent for a moment. Then, he said flatly, "Esme needs your help in the kitchen."

"Okay," I said, deciding to leave him alone. He'd tell me when he wanted to. There was no good in trying to push him, because it would just make him crankier.

I made to move past him to exit, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist and swung me back against the wall. I gasped in shock, surprised to see myself against the wall, staring at Edward's cold expression.

"W-what are you doing?" I stammered. He had never done anything like this before.

His left hand was against the wall, and he leaned on it so that he was looming over me. His eyes were icy. "Did you have fun while I was away?"

I blinked, confused. "What?"

"I bet a lot of the boys felt they were free to ask you out, huh?" he continued. "Now that I was gone?"

"Edward, what-"

"But I don't like that." He leaned in closer, making me swallow hard. "You're going to tell Newton to back off," he said softly, his sweet breath fanning my face. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast. "You're going to tell him that if he wants to keep his cute, baby face, he's going to have to leave you alone. Because I _will_ go over to punch his guts out if he doesn't." He eyed me. "That's my price for not leaving for his parents' store right now. Understand?"

Shaken, I nodded quickly, wordlessly. Never had Edward scared me so much before. And yet...never had he been so sexy either. What was the matter with me? With _us_?

He flashed me his humorless smirk. "Make sure to do it soon. You know I'm not good with patience." His soft voice made everything a hundred times worse. Chills went down my spine.

I nodded again, on the brink of hyperventilation, tears ready to spill. I needed to get away from him. He was too intimate, too extreme. My poor heart was working overtime. My eyes couldn't look away from him, and yet, he shined so brightly that it hurt to look at him.

He pulled gently on a loose piece of my hair and cocked his head as he stroked my cheek once. His eyes bored into my own, officially freezing me in this uncompromising position.

"I'll tell Esme that you're telling Mike something very important," Edward said. "And that you'll be right down." He smirked once more before swiftly leaving the room.

Breathe, Bella. In, out. In, out.

I slipped down the wall so that I was sitting against it, my knees pulled up to my chest. I stared at my bed in shock. Where had he learned to do these things? To make me feel in such an unforgivable, forbidden way?

Slowly, I went through my phone and called Mike. He answered with a cheery greeting, probably happy that I'd called him instead of texting. "Hey, Bella! What's up? You changed your mind about going out?" His bright tone sounded strange after Edward's sinister threats.

When I spoke, I wasn't at all surprised to find my tone just as flat and dangerous. Because that's how I felt right now: empty and feeling cold. "You need to stop calling and texting, Mike."

He paused at my terrible voice. "Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm serious," I said, my voice trembling slightly now. "Give up. I'll never say yes to you, so just don't do it." Or I could get hurt the next time. Save me, Mike. Save me from this Sea of Edward Cullen, where I'm drowning into the heart of the water.

I was falling in so deeply into his influence. Why did I let him control me like this? _How_ did he control me? I didn't think that I could back out now. A year of separation hadn't helped me to become strong and independent at all. If anything, the lack of practice in handling him had become my disadvantage. I should've been right beside him to see if anything about his ways had changed. I was the Edward Cullen expert. But I didn't feel like such an expert now. I felt like a failure.

"Bella..." Mike seemed hurt.

"Do you understand?" I snapped. "Don't do it!" I hung up, hoping fiercely that he wouldn't dare to call me again.

No, but being the idiot that he is, he might. And both his and my life would be at stake. My hands shaking, I went through my contacts and blocked his number. Giving him absolutely no chance with me. I prayed that I would be leaving for college before I ran into him again around town.

I was in trouble. And I couldn't tell anyone, for fear they would judge me on the way I felt, and the way he controlled me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So...how did you like it? Leave me lots of love and reviews!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Obsession

**Author's Note: Howdy! Let's see what else Edward can do, shall we? Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

I hadn't expected this. When I'd realized that he would be coming home in a few weeks, I hadn't considered the fact that he might be worse than he'd been, that I'd be terribly vulnerable in his presence. I had no idea how to handle him anymore. He was a loose cannon, out of control. What was I supposed to do now?

I needed someone to confide in. Surely, not Carlisle and Esme, since they were depending on _me_ to handle him. When Alice insisted on taking me shopping, just the two of us since Rosalie wanted to stay inside and work on our cars, I agreed, thinking it was the perfect time to mention it.

She was surprised, of course, that I would agree to go without even the slightest complaint. Even if she had been away at college, I would never miss her so much that I would agree to go on a shopping spree with her.

Edward's eyes narrowed when I told him that Alice and I were going to Seattle for the weekend. I winced internally. What was he going to do now? Was he not going to let me go?

His eyes flickered to our sister, who was standing calmly in the background, waiting for me. "I know it's further, but would it be too much if you went to Olympia instead?"

"Why?" Emmett piped up, a pastry halfway to his mouth. "What's wrong with Seattle?"

"If you've read the newspaper these days, you would know that homicide is getting serious again in Seattle," Edward said curtly. "I don't want even a slightest chance of the girls running into trouble. Especially since they're not allowing us to accompany them."

"Sure," Alice agreed cheerfully. "We'll go to Olympia. More girl talk on the car ride, I suppose. We'll catch up a bit more. What do you say, Bella?"

I nodded readily. I was dying to get out of the house, away from him. I couldn't even meet his gaze steadily anymore, and it was making me feel terribly anxious. "Sure."

"Great!" Alice gushed. "Edward, do you mind helping us get our suitcases in my Porsche?"

Silently, he stood and disappeared upstairs to get our suitcases. Alice flounced off to tell Rosalie and Jasper that we were leaving, and I headed for Carlisle's study, where he and Esme were speaking to each other quietly.

"We're leaving now," I said softly. "Just thought I'd let you know."

They smiled warmly. Esme walked forward to hug me. "Oh, sweetheart. I know how much you hate shopping, but Alice is doing this for you. She knows how much harder it'll get in college, and she's trying to help you create memories before you leave. You know that, right?"

I smiled slightly. "Yes, I know. I have the best sister in the whole world. I'll behave."

She chuckled as she withdrew. "Have fun. And call when you arrive, won't you? You know how Edward gets when he doesn't hear from you every few hours." She winked.

I nodded silently, feeling the dread of calling him in a few hours. I waved to Carlisle. "Bye, Dad."

He waved back. "Have fun, Bella. And try to rein in your sister, please."

I flashed him a grin. "Always."

"Alright, alright," Alice said, suddenly at the doorway. "That's enough goodbyes. It's not like we're going to the North Pole forever. Bye, Mom and Dad!" She dragged me out.

"Be safe!" Esme called.

"Bye, everyone!" Alice chirped as she dragged me out the door to her yellow 911 Turbo. "Don't call us, we'll call you!"

Rosalie yelled, "BYE!" from the garage, and Emmett and Jasper waved from the window. Emmett was eating another pastry.

Edward was at the passenger's seat side, waiting. He opened the door for me, then said quietly, "Be safe, please."

I looked at him then. _Really_ looked at him. He looked so miserable, so lonely. Whatever could've haunted him so much for years?

I gave him a hug, surprising him. "I miss you already," I told him before climbing into the car.

He smiled minutely at that and mouthed through the window, "Miss you more."

"Bye, Edward!" Alice said, and she slammed her door shut. She backed out quickly and waved. We were soon on the freeway and on our way to Olympia.

* * *

><p>"So let me get this straight," Alice said, frowning as she grabbed another French fry. "You think Edward got worse? Is that even possible?"<p>

I shrugged, munching on my hamburger. "Can't you tell? He's being more obsessive."

She snorted. "Well, I don't pay attention to him like you do."

I looked at her, startled. Did I really pay more attention to Edward than I did to the others? While it was true that he was one of my first priorities, I didn't think I watched him _that_ much.

"You do," she verified, and I realized that I'd spoken the question out loud. "You're doing something – reading or listening to music – and then, almost like a habit, you glance up at him briefly before going back to whatever it was you were doing. You don't even realize it anymore, do you? And, of course, he's always looking back at you. You two must be the closest siblings on earth."

I looked away, feeling uncomfortable. "It's not a bad thing, is it?"

"Well," she said. "I don't think it's bad. It's just...the way he looks at you is unhealthy. Not just literally, but his overprotective attitude. I mean, when you're thirty and you bring home your fiancé, what is he going to do – lock you up and hit the guy? It's just not logical. He's going to have to accept that you're not going to be there for him forever. He has to learn how to depend on himself too."

Funny, I hadn't even thought about that. "I know it's unhealthy. But is it really that bad?" I asked again.

She surprised me by laughing. "Oh, Bella. Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's because he loves you a lot and can't bear to see you even walking around without some protective shield around you. He probably missed you a lot during college, which is why he's being so difficult right now. He'll be fine in a few days."

"Yeah, I guess so," I allowed. "Except it wouldn't exactly help if you and I are going away on a trip to Olympia and we're going to be separated until Monday."

Alice paused. "Hm. You're right."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just worried. He'll probably be calling us every hour while we're there. That's not right."

"You're right," she repeated. "I'll answer the phone every time just to drive him nuts."

"That is not helping, Alice."

"He'll know you're safe if you're with me. I would never lie to him about the safety of our baby sister." She glanced sideways at me and winked playfully.

I felt frustrated. This was not what I wanted. I wanted advice that could help me to handle Edward, not jokes. I knew that she wasn't taking me seriously. And I also knew that it was my fault. Since I'd always accepted his behavior without complaint, Alice was now assuming that I was perfectly capable of taking care of our brother.

I wasn't going to get any help from Alice. She was oblivious, lost in her own bubbly world of positivity and optimism.

**Edward's Point of View**

As soon as the Porsche drove out of sight, I felt the loneliness sink into my stomach. It was the same feeling I'd had in college, away from her. Could I truly not be without her anymore? Was I always going to be depending on her as my wall?

At fifteen, I had been selfish and naïve. While I'd known it was wrong, I hadn't thought about it in depth. I'd simply allowed myself to be with her. Although I'd limited myself by simply being with her, I had somewhat satiated my need to be in her presence.

Now, as I neared my twenties, I knew that I had taken a turn for the worst. It was no longer enough for me to be with her. I could no longer control my urge to touch her. Even I had surprised myself when I'd suddenly pushed her up against the wall and threatened her with Mike Newton. It made me question something I thought I'd never have to deal with: What was I capable of?

**Bella's Point of View**

We arrived back at Forks early Monday morning. Carlisle and Esme insisted that I take a day off from school, since there was nothing new being taught anyway. I refused, claiming that I didn't want to ruin my perfect attendance record. In truth, I didn't want any chance of Edward cornering me for a private moment.

So even though my eyes were half closed when Emmett dropped me off at school, I still went through the school day. I was half listening to the teachers during classes. My mind was preoccupied with my newly formed fear of Edward Cullen.

"Bella, are you okay?" Angela asked in concern during lunch. She and I had escaped the clutches of Mike Newton only minutes before and had evacuated to the emergency staircase. We often had lunch there to escape the popular crowd and eager boys.

I looked up at her, my sandwich hardly eaten. "I'm just tired."

Angela didn't seem convinced. She and I had known each other for years. She knew me like a book. Still, she played along. She had never been one to pry unless I asked her to get involved. "That Olympia trip must have been too extreme for a two-day weekend, huh?"

I smiled slightly. "I guess so. We were going to come back yesterday, but you know how Alice gets. She was practically drooling when she saw Victoria's Secret newest lingerie collection."

Angela laughed. "So did she end up buying it?"

"Naturally."

"You must be happy to have Edward home," she commented, taking a sip of her juice. "I know how much you missed him."

My smile vanished. She noticed immediately. "Bella? What's wrong?"

I looked down at my sandwich and noticed that my hands were trembling. Almost automatically, it seemed, my brain began to replay that scene. He was pushing me against the wall...

"Bella?" Angela asked again, nervously. "You're scaring me here."

I put down my sandwich and took my water bottle instead. "Things...aren't the same, Ang. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

I bit my lip. "Edward. He's...ah..." I shook my head. "He's changed."

She looked apprehensive. "In a good way or a bad way? If he's gotten a lot more social, then that's good news. If he's somehow more difficult...I can't imagine how." She shot me an apologetic look. "Sorry, but he was just so scary in the first place."

I smiled humorlessly. "I agree. But somehow, he got worse."

Angela blinked, frozen. Our eyes met, and I knew exactly what she was thinking about. Much like Rosalie, Angela had always believed that Edward's protectiveness wasn't protectiveness but obsession. She hadn't always spoken out loud, for fear of offending me, but I knew that she'd always been worried for me, afraid that I'd succumb to Edward's dark nature. She was convinced that Edward was unhealthy for me. I'd never believed in her theory...until now.

"He's just..." I looked down at the bottle cap, trying to form the right words. "He's more than difficult. This isn't one of his tantrums. They're not his mood swings. He's...dangerous," I said finally, my heart breaking at the truth of those words. "Extremely...dangerous."

I couldn't look up. Would she scoff? Would she laugh? Would she not believe me either and brush my sincere worries off as Alice had done?

I was startled when Angela reached out and squeezed my arm gently. "Bella," she said softly. "I believe you."

I looked at her, my eyes wide. "You do?"

She nodded, her eyes sympathetic. "Yeah, I can believe it. I don't know what you mean by dangerous, but I've seen Edward enough to see that he's capable of it."

My breath came out slowly, in a whoosh. "For the first time ever...I was so scared. He's never spoken to me like that...before."

"He would never hurt you, Bella," Angela said. "He loves you too much. I don't know what happened, but I do think it's wise to keep your distance from him, even if he is your brother. He's much too dependent on you, much too obsessive."

I nodded slowly. Was this normal, this feeling? This rapid beating of my heart when I thought about him, this shortness of breath when I was talking about him? I couldn't forget how attracted I'd felt toward Edward when he'd pushed me up against the wall. I'd thought that my youthful crush had been simply that: a crush. Some sort of respect for an older brother whom I looked up to. Was it normal?

Surely, it was because of my hormones. My raging girl hormones. Perhaps I was sexually frustrated? Maybe it was because I was no longer a little girl. I was eighteen and I was curious about love and dating. I couldn't deny that I wasn't interested in boys.

Yes, that must be it. I was sexually frustrated. Even Angela had committed herself to Ben Cheney, her long-term boyfriend. I was simply being a woman. Still, I wasn't sure about my conclusions. I was still afraid to face him.

Luckily, wise old Angela gave me an option. "Do you want to come over to my house today?" she asked. "My parents are taking the twins to Port Angeles for a movie and dinner. We can watch some of the classics, if you want. I know how much you love them."

I smiled at her gratefully. "Can we watch _Wuthering Heights_?"

Angela smiled too, though her eyes still held concern for my sanity. "Of course." Then, in an effort to ease the tension, she rolled her eyes. "I'll even watch _Romeo and Juliet_ with you." She sighed exaggeratedly. "You and your weird love for Romeo."

I laughed, relieved. I would stay at Angela's house until late. I would eat dinner with her and eat ice cream and popcorn. We would laugh and talk, and stay as far as we can away from the subject of my dark brother. I wouldn't have to think about him until I got home. Luckily, I would avoid seeing him until the morning, when I was refreshed with sleep and fueled with the energy to resist his demonic presence.

Deep inside, I knew that avoiding him would only delay things. He would immediately become aware of what I was trying to do and grow worse.

But what was I supposed to do? I was only an eighteen-year old girl, scared and confused. I didn't know how to go on from here.

**Edward's Point of View**

I began to grow unreasonably suspicious when Bella did not return home even after school should have been dismissed. She had told Emmett that her friend Angela would drop her off after school. She didn't call. She didn't text. I wasn't nervous or worried. I was _suspicious_.

When she called Emmett and let him know that she was at Angela's house watching movies, my suspicions were confirmed. She was avoiding me.

Emmett hung up and tossed his phone on the sofa before plopping down. "She said she's having dinner with Ang." He stretched, yawning. "Silly goose. She sounded like she was having the time of her life with the girl."

"Aw," Alice deflated, looking disappointed. "I was hoping to give her a makeover!"

"There's always tomorrow, sweetheart," Esme said soothingly, turning to a news channel. "You should give Bella a chance to spend as much time with Angela as she can. They'll be separated soon, since Angela will be attending UW in the fall."

"Still..."

"Did she say when she was coming back?" I asked, my eyes on the television screen.

"Nope," Emmett said, popping the 'p'. "She'll probably end up sleeping over. She always did that."

I was _very_ displeased. Avoiding me wasn't going to help if my love for her had grown intensely so. If she kept this up, I wouldn't be able to suppress anything. Not my love for her, nor my urges. I would grow worse and worse. Surely, she knew me enough to know that? Why was she doing this to me?

Alice suddenly perked up, grabbing Esme's arm. "I know! We should throw Bella a graduation party!"

Rosalie looked up, intrigued. "Graduation party?"

"We can invite the entire senior class after the graduation ceremony," Alice said enthusiastically. "Please, Esme? Please, please, please?"

Esme glanced at Carlisle, who seemed interested in the idea. "What do you think, Carlisle?"

Carlisle shrugged. "I think that's a great idea. It's a perfect way to wrap up Bella's high school career. And I'm sure it'll give her time to say goodbye to her friends too."

"YAY!"

"I guess your father and I can spend the night out in Port Angeles," Esme mused. "All of you are in college; you're old enough to be chaperones."

Alice and Rosalie gasped, looking positively excited. "Really?"

"Go ahead," Carlisle said easily. "Why not?"

Alice squealed. "Oh, my gosh! There are so many things to do! We need to send out invitations, get party decorations-"

"Let's hire a DJ," Emmett said, grinning. "That sounds fun."

"-dance floor, maybe a disco ball?"

"What about the theme?" Rosalie asked, her blue eyes sparkling. "A masquerade?"

Jasper made a face. "I'm not wearing a mask. Do you know how uncomfortable those things are?"

"Disney!" Emmett said, barking out a laughter. "I'll go as Cinderella. I swear, I can pull it off!"

Sighing heavily, I got up and escaped upstairs, unnoticed. I was not interested in planning for a party. I was much more interested in waiting for her. I yearned to touch her. I yearned to kiss her. I yearned for her to be mine.

Why was I the one to fall in love with my sister? Why couldn't it have been some other person? Why did this problem have to become mine?

**Bella's Point of View**

I began to fidget anxiously when, even after my call to Emmett, Edward didn't call me. He didn't even text me to verify the information I'd fed to our eldest brother. There was no news from him at all, which made me doubly nervous. It was like he was doing it on purpose, like he'd caught onto what I was doing and was trying to punish me for not telling him.

Angela tried to take my mind off of Edward. She put on sappy comedies and cheesy romances. _Wuthering Heights_ and _Romeo and Juliet_ didn't help either. I couldn't concentrate.

She insisted that we cook lasagna for dinner, a process that took a long time. I agreed, hoping that cooking would dissipate my worries. Cooking had always been a sort of remedy for me.

It didn't help. I nearly cut open my finger while I was chopping lettuce for a salad. While Angela grated the cheese, I'd ended up making a large portion, enough to feed Angela's entire family.

We both stared at the pile of lasagna, horrified at the amount I'd accidentally made. Finally, Angela said, "Oh, well. I guess we know what we're eating tomorrow night."

"I am so sorry, Ang," I said blankly. I turned to her. "I'll apologize to your mother."

She laughed. "Don't worry. She's always wondering what to make for dinner. You did us a favor, believe me. It's a good thing you're a good cook."

I smiled weakly. All through dinner, I was worrying. All through washing dishes, I was worrying. Would he wait up for me? What was he going to do next?

"Bella, you've gotta stop," Angela burst out finally, when I failed to laugh at another comedy she'd put in. "You're here because you want to forget about him, right? Then forget! Just have fun!"

I glanced at her apologetically. "Sorry. I'm ruining your evening, aren't I?"

She sighed. "I'm glad you're here, but I'm worried about you. Obsessing over this isn't going to help you, Bella."

"What if I can't figure him out anymore?" I asked in a hushed voice. "What if he gets worse?"

"Look, Bella," Angela said, grabbing my hand. She looked directly into my eyes. "I get what you're worried about, I really do. But just think about it logically. Summer is only about two months. After break is over, your siblings will go back to college. Edward will go back to Harvard. And you'll go away on your own too. You'll be fine."

I stared at her, confused. "So...don't go to Harvard?"

She let me go. "I'm not saying that. It's your choice about where you'll go to college. Harvard is a great opportunity. You should consider it too. But you're not interested in law, like Edward is. And Harvard is huge. Most likely, you won't even see him a lot. But if you're still scared, just don't go there. Just go to somewhere you'll be safe from him, somewhere you'll be comfortable. Somewhere you won't have to worry about him."

I gazed into space. "Somewhere...I won't have to worry about him."

"Don't worry, Bella," Angela said, though she sounded plenty worried herself. "Edward is a smart guy. And he loves you a lot. He might be obsessed with you, but he won't hurt you."

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><p>It was one in the morning when I finally arrived home. I thanked Angela for a good time and for dropping me off so late. She waved before driving off, leaving me to sneak into the house.<p>

I stepped into the living room, heading for the staircase. I jumped, startled, when I saw Jasper sleeping on the couch. His pale blonde hair was the only thing I could see. He and Rosalie must be sleeping over.

Clutching my heart and trying to slow my breathing, I tiptoed up the stairs, feeling my way through the dark. I blew out a sigh of relief when my bedroom door was in sight. Time to sleep...

I yelped when someone grabbed me. I knew instantly that it was Edward when I smelled his intoxicating scent that I was so accustomed to. He clasped his hand over my mouth to silence me as he dragged me into my room and closed the door.

He let me go in the middle of the room and flicked on the lights. His green eyes looked black, wild with fury and...what? Desire? Desire for what?

"Oh, God," I whimpered, my legs trembling. I couldn't even sit down because I was so shocked. "You scared the hell out of me."

His eyes cleared somewhat of his passionate emotions as he stared at me. He seemed _relieved_ that I was home. "Where have you been?"

"Angela's," I said nervously.

"So it wasn't an excuse?" he muttered under his breath.

"Why would I lie?" I demanded. "What are you doing up at one in the morning? And scaring a girl half to death-" I shut up instantly when he fixed me with his cold gaze.

"It's one," Edward repeated, taking a few steps toward me. "You didn't call. You didn't text. You come home at one in the morning."

I found myself backing away, alarmed at his antics. What was he thinking of doing? I could no longer read his expressions, no longer anticipate his next move. I was completely in a bind.

I stopped short when the back of my legs reached the edge of my bed frame. Nowhere to escape. And Edward kept coming.

I started shaking. He was more frightening than anything else in the world. I saw it clearly now. For some reason, he had always been obsessed with me. Nothing else had mattered to him. I was his everything. But _why_?

When he was less than a feet away, I could not refrain from saying the very words I should've said when we were young. "Stop." My voice came out in a strangled choke.

He paused, his eyes searching mine. But I could no longer look at him determinedly like I had done before. He was no longer the same Edward Cullen I'd had control over. He had come back to me stronger than ever. He was controlling _me_ now.

"Are you afraid of me?" Edward asked quietly. His face remained impassive, but his eyes looked tortured.

Could it be...? Could it be that he didn't know what he was doing? Did he not want to do this either?

It made me even more fearful of him. If I could no longer stop him, if _he_ could not control himself...what was he capable of? If even _he_ did not know what he was doing, who could stop him?

Tears formed in my eyes. "Yes," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared of what you've become."

He didn't move. He didn't speak. He remained frozen, simply staring at me.

"And I'm even more scared...that..." I looked up at him, my tears falling. "That I caused this. That I let you become like this. I'm scared that you'll get worse...and I won't be able to stop you."

This terrible silence. This confession that I'd just made. I could tell that it was the worst blow that I'd ever caused toward Edward. Even when I'd told him that I thought he was an asshole, he hadn't taken it this badly. He wasn't raging like a monster. He simply looked lost, which was much worse for me to watch. It was like I had finally admitted to something that he couldn't bear to hear.

Had I made things much worse?

"Edward?" I asked softly, my arm raising slowly, hesitantly. Was he going into shock or something?

I flinched when he moved, thinking he was going to strike me. A few seconds later, I realized...he was _hugging_ me. He was hugging me as though his life depended on it, as though he was about to lose me in the sinking water.

I froze, completely shocked. How many years had it been since he'd hugged me like this? Never. Only brief, one-armed hugs now and then, and there had been that hug when he'd come home from college, but never this directly.

"Don't." Edward's voice sounded horrible. It was like he was being tortured, like he was going through a thousand years of agony. "Don't be afraid."

Shocked, I held my breath. He held me closer, very firmly.

"If you're afraid of me..." Edward breathed. "...then I'll die."

It was like everything rational that I'd had around me was falling. Reason and logic was crumbling. It didn't make sense, what he was saying. The fragile emotion in his voice and his recent actions...it couldn't be what I was thinking now.

It just didn't make sense to me. It was like someone had asked me what two plus two was. I knew the answer, but I was refusing to say it. I was refusing to believe that the answer was four.

"I'm losing myself," he murmured. "And if you're not there to catch me...I'll die."

Obsession. I finally realized what Angela had been trying to tell me. I finally understood what Rosalie had kept insisting upon.

This wasn't a brotherly overprotective nature. This was obsession. Somewhere along the way, Edward had started to depend on me so much that he had become completely reliant. He couldn't bear to see anything else in his path anymore. I was his savior. I was his life jacket. He couldn't let me go.

"Don't ever leave me," Edward pleaded, his voice breaking. I felt something wet drop onto the back of my shirt. He was _crying_. "If you do...I can't live."

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><p><strong>AN: Whew! That was a long chapter! For me, anyway. So...I think Bella is starting to suspect! What do you think? Leave me all your thoughts and love!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Admittance

**Author's Note: Surprised to see an update so soon? I have a lot of priorities at the moment, but I don't really want to think about that for at least another hour. Besides, since I already had this chapter all written out, updating doesn't take that long. Happy? Me, too. ;) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Edward's Point of View**

I started remembering even before I opened my eyes. I remembered hugging Bella as though my life had depended on her. I remembered begging her to never leave me. And I remembered that I'd dragged her into her bed with me when she tried to force me to sleep.

I'd felt relief and comfort as I'd felt her warmth. I'd fallen asleep immediately, knowing that she was watching me.

Now, the bed was too cold. She was no longer in my arms. My sister, my beautiful sister whom I'd fallen in love with. She had left me sometime during the night.

I raised myself slowly into a sitting position, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. It was nearly seven o'clock. The smell of waffles and sausages was in the air.

I closed my eyes, trying hard to hold onto her presence. I had been able to breathe properly as I'd held her in my arms. It was something I hadn't been able to do properly since childhood, when I'd first realized my feelings for her. I'd always walked through my life superficially, as though I was standing on thin ice.

My love was like poison. It was forbidden. It was wrong.

Perhaps I shouldn't have held her. Maybe I shouldn't have forced her to stay with me through the night. I felt worse now that she was out of my sight, worse than before. I was sinking deeper into hell. I was drowning in my heavy misery.

I showered quickly, wanting to see her again before she left for school. I was being a coward – a fool – but I was slowly losing control of the monster I'd chained down years ago. I'd chanted to myself numerous times: _She's my sister. She's my sister._ But it was like the monster was slowly growing immune to those meaningful words, as though he didn't care anymore.

I entered the dining room just in time to see Esme serving everyone a platter of waffles and sausages. She looked up and smiled at me, making me feel horrible. I didn't deserve that warm smile. If only she and Carlisle knew how I felt about my own sister... They would be horrified.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Esme greeted me. "Sit. I'll get you your plate in a minute."

I noticed that the only empty chair was the one in front of Bella, next to Jasper. I sat down slowly, noticing that Bella was avoiding my gaze.

It sent another wave of panic through me. She had already admitted that she was afraid of me. If she kept avoiding me, who knows what could be next? What if she ended up leaving me?

"You look miserable," Emmett noted, staring at me. "Why?"

I ignored him, my eyes on Bella. She stared determinedly down at her plate, eating quietly.

"I don't see any reason why he should be so miserable," Rosalie said snidely, her eyes boring into mine. She was sitting next to Bella. "After all, he spent the night with his favorite sister."

My eyes flashed toward my old friend, who stared back disapprovingly. Rosalie had been the only person to ever notice – _and_ understand – that my feelings for Bella had never been truly brotherly. She suspected that I felt something more, that I was indeed obsessed rather than overprotective.

Of course, the rest of my family was oblivious.

"Oh, how sweet," Esme said, smiling as she, too, sat down at her place. "It's been such a long time since you've spent some time with each other. What time did you come home last night, Bella?"

Bella paused, debating whether or not to tell the truth. "Around eleven," she finally lied. "Edward was waiting up, so we got talking."

So she was going to go along with the lie that Esme had unknowingly started for her. She was lying for me. She was lying for everyone else.

Rosalie glanced at her, looking conflicted, then looked sharply back at me. I read the message in her eyes: _You bastard._

There had always been a reason why Rosalie and I had never grown close to each other. She understood something about my nature that the others did not know, and I knew that she knew about me. It was too big of a secret for her to bear and understand. She couldn't become close with me without talking about it. So she kept her distance. She constantly worried for Bella's sanity, knowing that I could very easily pull her down to hell with me. She alone knew the truth.

I dropped my gaze first, knowing that there was no excuse for me. It was a sin, what I felt for Bella, and I was already in hell, knowing that I shouldn't be feeling this way. And yet, I kept loving her, kept pulling her down little by little down to where I was.

I completely understood Rosalie's disapproval. I disapproved of me too. But I wasn't strong enough to give Bella up.

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><p>Bella escaped the house before I could say anything to her. She left purposely with Carlisle, striking up a conversation about college. It ultimately led her to get into Carlisle's Mercedes so that they could continue their conversation while he dropped her off at school.<p>

Alice and Jasper offered to help Esme with the dishes, and Emmett cleared the table. With nothing left to do, I headed outside for a walk in Esme's garden. It was a dreary day today. Even during the summer, Forks was always raining. I walked slowly through the dense mist, settling down on a hammock.

I closed my eyes as I swung back and forth gently, Bella in my thoughts. Bella's scent. Bella's hair. Bella's beautiful face. She was constantly in my thoughts, like she was attached to my brain.

"You fool."

My eyes flashed open, and I found myself the victim of Rosalie Hale's famous glare. I stopped swinging and stared back at her, wondering what she was up to. She had never confronted me about the situation before. Was she going to do it now, when it was much too late for me to go back?

"I thought you would stop," Rosalie stated, her eyes narrowing. "I thought it was just a silly phase. But I guess I was wrong."

She crossed her arms, causing her cleavage to become exposed. But for once, her thoughts were not on her own looks. Right now, it was not about looking good. It was about protecting a girl who was like her younger sister.

"I was an idiot to trust you," she said. "I just thought it was one of those things as a child..."

I was curious now. Would she really say the words? The very words that even I had not been able to speak out loud? The forbidden words... Would she speak them?

Rosalie gazed at me, her blue eyes accusing. "You fell in love with her."

I couldn't stop the startled laughter from tumbling out. She'd really said it. Brave, tenacious Rosalie Hale had spoken the words that I had suppressed for so long. I wondered what it would feel like to actually say it. I envied her.

"You laugh?" Rosalie asked in a hushed voice. She looked devastated now, tears forming in her eyes. "You fell in love with an innocent girl...who happens to be your little sister."

My smile gradually fell away. I looked up at her helplessly, feeling my own eyes moisten. A single tear made its way down my cheek, and the misery grew in my heart. How was I supposed to get out of this hole? This hole that I'd dug into for so long... There was no longer a way for me to get out.

"Edward," Rosalie said, her voice soft. "You used to be so good and pure...you were such a bright, bubbly boy. You were always joking around. You were always laughing. You loved your family more than anything. You loved watching Bella run around, laughing...

"You just...stopped. You took one look at her, and you just stopped. At first, I couldn't understand why – you loved her so much. You loved her more than Emmett or Alice..." She shook her head. "I was twelve when I finally realized it. I'd been so stupid, so _blind_... You still loved her." Her face darkened. "But it was a different kind of love."

My tears were all gone. My walls were back up. I was gazing at her coldly, like I had done so many times before.

"I was so...horrified. It was completely wrong – how could anyone feel that way? I couldn't imagine it. I just couldn't understand. So I simply hated you. I knew how dark you'd become, and I was afraid that you would bring Bella down with you. She was so innocent and bright and cheerful... I was scared that you would make her like you. I couldn't understand, so I simply hated you."

Rosalie looked exhausted now, drunk in sadness and regrets. "But then, I fell in love with Emmett, and I finally understood what you must be going through. Love was powerful, and I sometimes felt overwhelmed at the way I loved Emmett. What must it be like for you, then? You were still so young, but you knew enough. You knew you couldn't love your own sister. You were being haunted by your very emotions...and I began to understand the way you've changed."

Her eyes were cold and icy. "I don't pretend to understand how you feel, Edward. I've tried, and I think I'm quite aware of the pain you're constantly in. But I know that I'll never be able to feel it. I've tried not to judge you, but it's so hard.

"You've endured it well so far. But how long do you think you'll last? I can already see that you're slipping. You want to touch her. You want to make her yours. But do you think that'll happen?"

Rosalie shook her head, her expression hard. "It's impossible. It's forbidden. Do everything you can to end it now, Edward. Or you'll both be in danger. You've gotten too dark to control yourself now, so end it. I don't want to see Bella succumbing to something she's only starting to suspect. I'm warning you: _Leave her alone._ Don't bring her down." She turned to head back inside.

"Do you think I can?"

She paused, then looked back. I looked up at her, starting to rock the hammock gently once more.

Rosalie's expression told me her answer. She knew I'd come too far. She was warning me, but she knew that I couldn't stop.

I smiled humorlessly. "I've tried so hard to stop. I've considered running away, and I've considered killing myself. Anything to stop this curse."

"But?" Rosalie prompted, eyeing me. "Why didn't you do it?"

"Would you have preferred that?" I asked in wry amusement. When she didn't answer, I replied to her question. "Running away would've made everything worse. I would've eventually come back because I would've missed her. I couldn't kill myself because I knew that it would tear the family apart. So I kept living with it."

She let that sink in. She gazed at me, pity and suspicion swimming in her eyes.

I inclined my head. "Why didn't you tell Carlisle or Esme? Why did you keep it to yourself?"

"You said it yourself," Rosalie said curtly. "I knew that it would tear your family apart. The Cullens are my extended family. I want to protect everyone in it, even you. You chose to live with it, and so I supported you. I disapproved, but you knew what was best for you. But now...I'm not sure if I did the right thing. I can see Bella struggling with the burden of trying to control you like she did before, but she won't win this time."

"Will you tell them if it gets out of hand?" I asked.

A flash of pain flickered in her eyes. "I don't know. Believe it or not...I care for you too, Edward. You've always been my brother, no matter how much I hated you. I want to protect Bella, but I want to protect you too."

I looked away, tears threatening to fall again. "I'm scared, Rosalie," I whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I get so angry when she doesn't pay attention to me. I can't breathe when she's not with me. And I don't realize what I'm doing until I've already scared her."

Rosalie's lips parted. Her face was contorted with pain and misery. She didn't know what to do either.

"What if I do something that'll make her run? What if she leaves me? What will I do then? I can't live without her, Rose. I'll die."

Rosalie shook her head. "Try to stop. For her."

"She said she's afraid of me," I stated, feeling hollow. "She's afraid. I couldn't bear to hear that. It was worse than her saying that I was an asshole."

"I know," she said quietly. "I heard."

I looked up at her again, suddenly feeling desperate. "Will you keep watching me? Will you protect her, Rosalie? If I get out of control..." Another tear escaped from my left eye. "Will you stop me?"

Rosalie bit her lip. I deciphered pity and sympathy in her eyes as she approached closer. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around me gently, patting me on the back rhythmically like I was a child.

In a strong, sure voice, she promised, "I will."

**Bella's Point of View**

Alice and Rosalie picked me up after school, effectively foiling my plan to stay with Angela again. I shot Angela an apologetic look, but she was laughing, perfectly aware that my sister was uncontrollable.

"Alice," I complained. "Do I need to remind you that I need to spend as much time as possible with Angela before we leave for college?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous!" Alice said, already speeding toward Seattle. "You'll have plenty of time to catch up at the party!"

"Party?" The word alerted me of a dreadful future event. "What party?"

"Your graduation party, of course!" Alice said enthusiastically. "We're inviting all the seniors after the graduation ceremony. Carlisle and Esme told us that they'll go to Port Angeles that night so the house is all ours!"

"Alice!" I all but shrieked. "I hate parties! No! Cancel it! Cancel it!"

"Too late!" she sang. "We sent out the invitations today!"

I groaned, horrified. "But it's supposed to be _my_ party. Shouldn't I get to have a say in it?"

"Aw, come on," Alice said, pouting. "We just wanted you to have some fun before you go off to an Ivy League and deal with all those competitors."

I sighed, then glanced at the backseat. I was surprised to see Rosalie sitting quietly by the window, watching the scenery flash by. She looked deep in thought, as though she was troubled by something.

"What's wrong, Rose?" I asked, concerned.

Rosalie started, looking at me in surprise. "What, Bella?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered automatically. She forced a smile. "Just brainstorming about what the theme for the party should be."

"Oh, yeah!" Alice said. "We were thinking we should do something like _The Great Gatsby_ or something." She rolled her eyes. "Emmett thinks we should do Disney."

I sighed. "If we're going to have a party, can we have a regular one? No themes, _please_. I hate dressing up. I don't want to go through the double torture of having to dress up as Cinderella or something."

Alice opened her mouth to argue, but Rosalie beat her to it. "That sounds fine to me," she said vaguely. "It'll be easier for us to decorate the house, Alice. What do you say?"

"But-"

"It's Bella's party. She should have some say in it."

"Thanks, Rose," I said, glancing pointedly at my fuming sister. "Deal with it, Alice."

So, in the end, she reluctantly agreed to a theme-less graduation party of just regular food and drinks. What was the point in everything anyway? I was too preoccupied with Edward to concentrate on anything else.

Ever since he'd pleaded for me to join him in my bed, I couldn't think of anything else. I'd been awake half the night, my heart beating rapidly. Unlike me, Edward had fallen asleep almost immediately, which made me feel silly. I was the only one who felt this way. I was the only one with a crush on my sibling. It was wrong.

Something had just clicked. Something that I'd been denying for almost ten years...and it had only taken one night with him for me to accept.

I was very much attracted to Edward. It was not just a silly crush anymore, nor a respectful regard that I held for my brother. I was attracted to the sexy, handsome, dark epitome of Lucifer...who happened to be my brother.

This wasn't right. This was...this was... I didn't want to say it. I couldn't admit it. It was dangerous. It was forbidden. If Edward ever found out, he would kill me.

If that wasn't bad enough, Alice had dropped the bomb about a party. A party that invited the entire senior class, which included every boy who had been interested in me. It was not a good combination.

But maybe, a party was really what I needed. I needed to loosen up a little. I'd been under too much stress since Edward had come back. I was becoming paranoid. I needed to act more my age.

But he was my brother. How could I be attracted to my own brother?

It was the hormones. If I had sex with someone, would this feeling go away?

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><p><strong>AN: Leave me tons and tons of reviews, everyone! Love you!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Incest

**Author's Note: Hey! Another quick update. Aren't you excited? Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Angela choked on her orange juice and coughed violently. Impatiently, I patted her back until she recovered almost a full minute later. She resurfaced, gasping for breath. "WHAT?"

"Shh," I shushed her, frowning. "It's not that surprising. I mean, you've already done it."

She just stared at me like I'd grown an extra head. "But it's _sex_!"

My thoughts flashed to my attraction for Edward. "I need to get my mind off some things."

"Off of Edward, you mean?" Angela's eyes were wide. "Bella, he's not worth it! Sex is a very emotional experience. You want to do it with someone you love, not just anyone!"

I scowled. My crush was off-limits. He couldn't be the one for me. "Have you ever considered that maybe I'm feeling so paranoid about Edward because I'm sexually frustrated?"

Her jaw dropped. "No, I've never considered it! Please, Bella, just drop the subject!"

I recalled the past few startling scenes with Edward. I had to get him out of my head. "I just want to have some fun," I sighed. "I've been too goody-good all throughout high school. Now that I've chosen to go to Princeton, maybe I should just let loose."

Angela didn't take it lightly. In fact, she seemed seriously concerned for my sanity. "Bella, I'm serious. Just drop it. If you had a boyfriend that you really, really love, like I do, then there would be no reason for me to convince you otherwise, but you don't. Please, just stop. You're not being yourself."

"Ang-"

"I don't think it's just because of Edward. I think it's because you're nervous about graduation, and your graduation party. That's it."

"It's not!"

"Just forget it."

I stared at her frustratedly, pouting. All throughout the rest of lunch, Angela kept sneaking worried glances at me, even occasionally warning me not to go through with it.

But I was already making swift calculations. There were many boys willing to take me to bed. Which one should I choose...?

* * *

><p>I stopped dead when I saw Edward's Volvo waiting for me after school. It was the first time since his arrival that he had picked me up from school.<p>

Angela's eyes became wide. She immediately offered to go to Port Angeles with me to catch a movie, but I sensed Edward's dark glower on the back of my head. I reluctantly turned her down, resigning myself to a car ride home with him.

This was the strangest feeling I'd ever felt before. I felt attracted to him, and I wanted to reach out and touch him. But on the other hand, I had never felt so scared of anyone before. I was torn. What was it that I really wanted? Did I want to go toward him, or did I want to run away from him?

Angela bravely offered to walk me to his car. I smiled at her antics – she thought that if he knew she was aware of the fact that I had left with him, he wouldn't try anything funny. It was incredibly sweet of her, although, of course, it was useless.

"Hi, Edward," Angela said as I got into the passenger's seat. She looked frightened, though she was putting up a good front.

Edward's eyes flickered from me to her for the first time. He nodded once. "Angela. How are you?"

"Fine," Angela said, almost defiantly. I nearly laughed. "But Bella and I had plans today, so I'm a little disappointed."

A flicker of amusement flashed across his face. "I see. Well, I'm sorry to steal her away, but I was ordered to bring her home directly. She's needed for the party preparations, or so I'm told."

I glanced at her, fighting back my smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ang. Drive safely."

Angela looked at me, resigned. I read her expression: _I tried_. "See you later, Bella." Her eyes narrowed as she turned to Edward. "Bye, Edward."

"Angela," Edward acknowledged before pulling out of the parking space.

I watched the side mirror as my best friend's figure grew smaller and smaller behind us. A feeling of uncertainty and anxiety crept over me. I found myself questioning myself for the millionth time: How was I supposed to get out of this situation?

"I see Angela's still scared of me," Edward noted.

"Everyone is scared of you," I mumbled.

He glanced at me, smiling. He seemed to be in a lighter mood today. "Did you really have plans with her?"

I bit my lip. "No."

"I thought so." He sounded faintly amused. "She's quite loyal, your friend. I can tell she disapproves of me, though."

"She tolerates you," I said shortly. "That doesn't mean she has to like you." _I don't know why I like you when you're such a bad influence_, I added silently to myself.

Edward's smile vanished. "Are you angry with me?"

"No. Why would you think that?" I did sound a bit curt with him, didn't I?

"That night," he said hesitantly. "I'm sorry. If I say that I don't mean to scare you, would you believe me?"

I sighed, glancing out the window. "Yes. You scare everyone without meaning to."

"I really am sorry," he said quietly. "I just needed to let you know how important you are to me."

I looked at him. He looked miserable and lonely. How many times had he looked like that? "I already know, Edward. You don't have to do or say anything to remind me."

"But I can't help it," he said, his lips barely moving. His voice was hushed, as though he was talking to himself. "I can't stop myself."

* * *

><p>Graduation came too quickly. Soon, the ceremony, as well as the party, was standing right in front of me.<p>

Feeling desperate and scared at my increasing feelings for my own brother, I made plans with one of the most popular boys at school, Austin Marks. The day before graduation, I sought him out and made my request. He seemed surprised but agreed to give me what I wanted after a thoughtful musing.

After school, Angela caught up to me and urged me to go shopping with her. Completely serious, I told her what I was going to do. She was horrified and begged me frantically for me not to go.

"You're not in your right mind right now, Bella!" she argued. "Think logically, _please_. This isn't what you want! You'll regret it!"

"I need to get him out of my head, Ang!" I said, finally snapping. My eyes held tears. "He's driving me crazy. I can't handle it. I need a distraction!"

Angela stared at me. Finally, she shook her head. "You're going to regret it."

"Can I tell my family that I'm having a sleepover with you?" I asked pleadingly.

She looked extremely worried, absolutely convinced that this wasn't the right choice. But I was tired of having to be good all the time. I was tired of being Edward's victim of fear. I needed to let loose somehow.

"It isn't right," she said finally. "I'm worried about you, Bella. I'm very worried."

"Please, Ang," I begged. "I need this."

Austin came strolling up to us. "Hey, Bella. Ready to go?"

I was still staring at Angela, who was staring at Austin thoughtfully. "Please, Ang?"

Angela sighed. "Okay. Good luck."

I hugged her tightly. "Thanks," I whispered. "I'll call you."

* * *

><p>I began to panic when we stepped inside the hotel room in Port Angeles. I wasn't nervous about having sex for the first time. No, I was beginning to worry about what would happen if Edward found out what I was doing.<p>

Holy shit. Shit, shit, shit...

I found myself going numb as I followed Austin into the bedroom. He was drawing closer...

_He was stepping toward me as I backed away._

He was unbuttoning my blouse.

_"Are you afraid of me?"_

I was vaguely aware of my breathing getting faster. It was too late to back out now; I'd already called Alice and told her that I would be spending the night at Angela's. The last button fell away, and he was stripping the blouse away from my body.

_He was holding me in his arms, as though he never wanted to let go. "Don't be afraid."_

Austin pulled me closer, his hand drifting toward my breasts. His lips touched my throat...

_"Stay with me." He was refusing to let go of my hand, tugging me insistently. "Come here. Pat me until I fall asleep."_

We were moving backward. I was lowered gently onto the bed as he continued to kiss my throat. His hands roamed around my body, creeping downward.

_"Don't ever leave me, Bella. I can't live without you."_

Inhaling sharply, I stopped Austin's hand from advancing further. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this. Austin Marks wasn't Edward. Austin wasn't who I wanted.

I sat up abruptly, tears stinging my eyes. I buried my head in my hands, starting to cry. "I'm sorry, Austin. I just...I can't do it. You're not him."

Austin seemed dumbfounded by my sudden tears. To his credit, he chuckled and patted my back while I cried into his shoulder. "I knew it. I knew you wouldn't go through with it."

Startled, I looked up. "What do you mean?"

"I know the type of person you are, Bella," Austin told me. "You're naturally good at heart, and you're always doing the right thing. When you came up to me, I suspected it was because of a guy. I was surprised at what you wanted from me, but I agreed to come because if I refused, some other guy would've came instead."

He looked mockingly stern. "Bella Cullen, you're lucky it was me who came, not some other guy. Or they would've already taken advantage of you. Fortunately for you, I just wanted you to come to your senses. You were too out of it these days."

I cried harder. "I'm s-s-sorry!"

He laughed, picking up my blouse from the floor and helping me put it back on. "Don't worry. I can never look at you that way. You've always been a good friend, and you were going to stay that way." He eyed me, then teased, "You didn't know I was dating Katie, did you?"

I gasped. "What? Why'd you come with me, then, you idiot?"

"Like I said, I wanted you to snap out of it."

"Oh, my gosh," I moaned. "I am so sorry, Austin. It was so stupid of me. I'll apologize to Katie myself-"

"Don't worry, Katie knows," Austin reassured me. "I told her what I was going to do. She was convinced that you would snap out of it before I could get any further, which is why she agreed to let me to do it."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, falling backward on the bed. I gazed up at the ceiling. "I am such an idiot."

"Come on," Austin urged. "I'll take you home."

"I can't go home," I said dully. "I told my family that I'm sleeping over at Angela's tonight."

"Then I'll take you to Angela's. Come on, button up."

I sat up abruptly again, my eyes focused. "Look, Austin. I'll do everything I can do keep him from finding out, but if Edward ever finds out about today, he'll-"

"-try to kill me," Austin finished amusedly. "Yeah, I know. Do you think I didn't consider that? He's so damn protective of you. Don't worry, I can handle it. I'll just get hit a few times for touching you." He winked.

"It's not funny!" I began to grow extremely concerned for Austin's well-being. I was definitely regretting what I'd tried to do.

"Come on," Austin said, ignoring me. "Do you want to go out half-naked? Button up."

So, in the end, he didn't listen to me. He dropped me off at Angela's, then thanked me for sobering up. "You weren't yourself these past few days." He waved. "See you at graduation tomorrow, Bella!"

I watched dejectedly as he drove off. I was going to have to do my damned hardest to save him from Edward's wrath. Why the hell did I do something so stupid?

Angela threw open the door when I rang the doorbell. Her eyes were wide. "Did you do it?"

I shook my head. "I chickened out."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I knew Austin wouldn't do that to you. He cares about you too much as a friend."

"I guess everyone knew it but me." I sighed as I led the way inside. "Where's your family?"

"Out," Angela said, her brows still creased with worry. "What happened?"

So I told her what happened over a bowl of rice and orange chicken. Angela nodded approvingly when I finished. "That's why I let you go with him. Austin, I mean. I knew that there had to be a reason why he said yes to you."

"Why didn't you tell me he was dating Katie?" I demanded. "I wouldn't have asked him, then!"

"It's a good thing I didn't tell you!" Angela snapped. "Or you would've gone to Mike Newton, and he wouldn't have been as nice as Austin! I don't know what's going on with you, Bella. You're just so out of it! What made you think that you can just sleep with a guy and forget all your troubles? Life doesn't work that way!"

I just sighed wearily. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm worried for your sanity, Bella."

"Me too," I said, staring at my spoon blankly. "Me too."

* * *

><p>Eric Yorkie babbled on about the future and new beginnings. Whatever. I wasn't listening.<p>

I was feeling extremely guilty at the moment, so intensely that I couldn't even look up to meet Edward's eyes. I could feel that he was staring at me, probably wondering why I was jittery as hell. If he ever found out about Austin...

"Isn't this so exciting, Bella?" Ben Cheney whispered. "We're almost done with high school!"

I glanced at him and smiled. "It seems surreal. Where are you going?"

"University of Washington," he answered with a grin. "With Angela, of course. You're going to Princeton, right?"

I nodded. "Let's keep in touch, alright?" I patted his arm. "Thanks for being so good to Angie, Ben. She's special to me, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't I know it. You two are practically inseparable. I bet Ang is going to cry afterward."

I laughed quietly, just as Eric announced, "Now, I present to you, this year's graduating senior class!"

As one, we rose, my mind instantly out of focus again. Angela was right. I really was out of it. It was like I didn't know what I was doing anymore. Like I was succumbing to my worst nightmares, giving into the darkness. Edward... He was suffocating me.

I was startled when the seniors suddenly yelled out and threw their caps into the air. I pulled mine off and let it fall to the ground. After a few seconds of staring down at the cap, I picked it up with a sigh and wandered off to find my family.

Unfortunately for me, Angela found me first. She was already crying. She blubbered my name as she sobbed into my shoulders, rambling about it being over. I tried to console her as best as I could until Ben came and took charge of his girlfriend.

"Come on, Ang," he said, pulling her away. "We'll see each other later at Bella's party. Say goodbye now."

"Bye..." Angela wailed as she was dragged away.

I watched her disappearing figure, feeling nostalgic. It seemed only yesterday that we had both been in kindergarten, and I'd rescued her from being pushed down by a fellow classmate.

I whirled around and walked away quickly, trying to fight back tears. Everything was changing all at once. Everything was becoming too much of a burden. College was going to be a problem with all the competitors running around at Princeton. Edward wasn't helping matters. I could see that he was pulling me down toward him, unwilling to let go.

What was I supposed to do? These horrible thoughts and emotions about being attracted to my own brother... It was eating me up from the inside.

I stopped, finding myself at a quiet corner away from the chaos. I sank down into a crouch, my hands covering my ears. I closed my eyes, trying to ease my sobs.

"Bella?" I instantly recognized Rosalie's bell-like voice. She knelt next to me, her hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I looked up, knowing that my eyes were bloodshot and my makeup was ruined. "R-Rosalie..."

She stared at me for a moment before pulling me into a hug. "Oh, sweetheart. You'll be fine."

I cried into her shoulder. "I don't know what to do. Everything's just so confusing..."

I knew that I wasn't making sense. How would Rosalie know what was going on inside my mind, or with Edward? None of them paid any attention to his worsening condition.

But to my surprise, Rosalie said, "I know. I know."

I sniffled as I withdrew. "Where is everyone? I don't want them to see me like this."

"We spread out to find you when you disappeared," Rosalie said, giving me a handkerchief. "I was the only one who saw you. So we've got some time. Come on." She helped me stand up. "Let's go to the bathroom and get you fixed up." She smiled ruefully. "You wouldn't want to face Edward like that. He'll pounce on you like a wildcat and go beat up Angela or something."

I laughed tearfully and followed her into the school bathroom. The sound of chaos gradually muffled as the doors closed behind us.

"Let's just pretend that you never cried, okay?" Rosalie said as she reapplied my makeup. "You were simply going around, saying congratulations to all your friends. We just didn't see you. Yes?"

I smiled as she finished. I looked at the mirror and saw that I didn't look like I'd been crying at all. Yes, I could pull it off. "Thanks, Rose. You're the best."

Rosalie smiled at me sadly. It was like she knew exactly what was going on with me but didn't know how to help me. But that was impossible, wasn't it? She couldn't know.

We rejoined the crowd. Rosalie led me to the back of the gym, where my family was waiting for me. Alice tackled me first, showering me with kisses. "Congratulations, Bella!"

I smiled, accepting her bouquet of flowers. "Thanks, Alice." I hugged Emmett and Jasper too, giving them both a kiss on the cheek.

Carlisle looked proud as he hugged me tightly. "Congratulations, Bella." He withdrew. "I'm very proud of you."

Esme was practically bawling, which confused me. She hadn't bothered to shed a single tear when Emmett, Alice, or Edward had graduated. She embraced me lovingly, sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't believe you've grown so well..."

"Mom," I said, bewildered. "What's wrong with you?"

Carlisle sighed as he pulled his wife away from me. She cried into his chest for a reason I could not fathom. "Don't mind her. Your mother is just remembering old times."

"Old times?" Alice laughed. "Like when Bella dumped her entire birthday cake on Emmett's head?"

Emmett grimaced. "I thought we agreed not to bring it up anymore."

"No," Carlisle answered, looking unusually serious. "Times older than that."

"You're being weird," Emmett said, correctly expressing how I felt.

Edward stared at me. "Congratulations, Bella. I'm proud of you."

I tried to smile at him, but it came out like a grimace. "Thanks, Edward."

His brows furrowed when I immediately looked away. His eyes narrowed in suspicion when I changed the subject abruptly, trying to usher my family out of the school so that we could go get prepared for the graduation party.

I didn't know why the others were not suspicious either – if I was eager for something I hated, then there was definitely something wrong with me.

* * *

><p>Guests started arriving at seven. I was already in a blue mini dress with matching open-toed pumps, greeting my friends. Carlisle and Esme had left thirty minutes before, intending on watching a movie and eating dinner before retiring to a hotel in Port Angeles.<p>

The entire house was practically unrecognizable. The furniture had been moved so that it was on the sidelines, and the rented dance floor and disco ball was doing its job of livening up the atmosphere. The hired DJ was excellent, and he was taking song requests cheerily as he bobbed his head to the beat.

In other words, it was a complete nightclub. I knew for a fact that Emmett and Jasper had snuck in a bit of alcohol after Carlisle and Esme had left. I was currently avoiding the fruit punch, aware that they were spiked. It was a bit hard not to know, since several of my classmates were getting tipsy by eight o'clock.

I shook my head when I saw that my siblings were letting loose as well. Rosalie and Emmett had already drunk a considerable amount of alcohol and were practically taking their clothes off in the corner. Alice and Jasper were dominating the dance floor with their invented, dangerous moves.

I wondered vaguely if I should call Carlisle and Esme. This graduation party was certainly getting wilder than I'd anticipated.

**Edward's Point of View**

I grimaced when a group of giggling girls tripped past me, fruit punch in their hands. Emmett and Jasper. They had definitely spiked the drinks.

I watched, shaking my head at the wild scenes. Emmett and Rosalie were giggling as they headed into the kitchen, their arms entangled in each other. Alice and Jasper were dancing rather dangerously while the rest of the crowd went crazy. I shuddered to think about the cleanup afterward.

I was searching for one specific person. She looked dangerously beautiful tonight, and I wanted to keep her away from drunk boys. I'd already seen a few of them taking advantage of unaware, giggling girls at secluded corners around the house. But they weren't going to touch my Bella.

"Whoops!" a hiccuping girl tripped lightly and nearly ran into me. She looked up, and I realized it was Angela.

"Angela," I greeted her. I noticed the drink in her hand. Fruit punch. If I knew Angela Weber, she was responsible and disapproved of drugs and alcohol. She must have been oblivious to the spiked drinks. "You're drunk."

She smiled sheepishly. "A little, I think. I didn't know the drinks were spiked." She hiccuped.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"Somewhere," she said vaguely, waving toward the crowd. She leaned back, squinting up at me. "It's because of you."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's because of you that Bella did all that," she said, hiccuping again. "She's growing crazy because of you. _Hic!_" She pointed at me accusingly. "Don't think I don't know, Edward Cullen. You're obsessed with her. _Hic!_"

I blinked. What had Bella told her best friend?

"She's going insane," Angela snapped. Her eyes unfocused, then refocused. "She can't think of anything else. Do you know what she did? _Hic!_ She tried to sleep with someone so she could be distracted. _Hic!_ Do you hear? She tried to have sex!"

I froze, unable to breathe. Bella tried to _what_? It was like the entire world was spinning, then crashing down on me. I was starting to lose all sense, all reason. I was about to cross the line.

"Oops," Angela said, covering her mouth. Her eyes widened, looking horrified. "_Hic!_ I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

I brushed past her roughly, leaving her to call after me. "Shit! Edward! Edward! Shit, shit, shit, shit..."

I couldn't think of anything else. How dare she throw herself at another guy? How dare she try to leave me? Did she do it? Did she really lose her virginity to someone else? Years of scaring away interested boys had been in vain. She, herself, had walked toward another boy.

I was beyond reason. I didn't care about anything anymore. I just knew that the girl I loved had done something I couldn't condone, and I was going to make sure she was aware of it.

**Bella's Point of View**

I was miserable. It was my only thought as I wandered around the house, watching everyone. My heart felt heavy. I felt numb. How was this even possible? How could I love my own brother?

Yes, love. It wasn't just an attraction anymore. I finally realized that I had been loving him for years now. Annoyance had been jealousy. Respect had been loyalty. Lust...had been love.

I was distracted when Mike Newton caused a diversion. He was throwing up all over his friends, who were backing away. He fell to the ground, retching.

Grimacing, I approached. I leaned over and poked him. "Hey, Mike. Are you alright?"

Someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me away, making me yelp. His tall figure and bronze hair... It was Edward.

I glanced behind me as he dragged me upstairs. Nobody seemed to notice that I'd been kidnapped.

He shoved me into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. He pushed me up against the wall again, his hands pushed up against the wall on either sides of my face. "Did you have fun?"

I was hyperventilating. What the hell? I wasn't ready to face him, much less be the victim of his seductions again. "W-what do you mean?"

He leaned in. I wondered if he had been drinking, but there was no stench of alcohol. He was perfectly sober.

"Did you have fun with the guy?" Edward asked dangerously.

I froze, staring at him in horror. "H-how did you-"

His fist came flying and slammed against the wall. I screamed, cowering. Tears prickled in my eyes.

"You ran to another guy?" he whispered, breathing hard. "_You slept with him_?"

"It's a misunderstanding," I whispered, my voice barely audible. I sank down about two inches, my legs shaking. "I didn't do it."

His eyes flashed. "You didn't do it?"

"No," I said, my voice breaking. "I couldn't do it."

"Why?" His voice was quite steady now.

My heart pounded. He was so close to me. Electricity sizzled between us...

"It wasn't right," I mumbled. "It didn't feel right."

He was silent for a moment. Then, he said flatly, "It doesn't matter. What pisses me off is that you attempted it, even if you didn't go through with it."

"I'm sorry," I said, scared. Was he going to let it go now?

"You've gone too far," Edward whispered. "You've pushed me to the limit. Now...I can't stop anymore."

I looked at him, my eyes wide. What was he doing? He was leaning closer...and closer...

I let out a muffled protest when he crushed his lips against mine. It wasn't right. It was terribly wrong, what we were doing. How could he do this? He was my brother, and I was his sister. This was..._incest_.

I tried to push him away, but even I could tell that it was halfhearted. I wanted him desperately. I wanted to love him freely.

I finally understood everything. Obsession hadn't been the correct term either. He felt the same way I did. He loved me in a way that was not allowed. We had fallen into a forbidden love.

Despite what my heart was screaming at me, my brain was louder. I didn't want to, but I kept trying to push him away. This angered him more, and I was shocked when the wall disappeared from behind me. Somehow, he pushed me down onto his bed without breaking the kiss. To my horror, his hands began to roam around me freely.

"Edward, no!"

He didn't listen. He was beyond reason. I knew that he had come too far, indeed; nothing I said would be able to control him anymore. It was like he had shut his senses away from reality. He had endured it for too long. He had finally reached his limit.

His lips moved down, as did his hands. His smooth, cold hands slid under my dress in a well-practiced manner, and in a matter of seconds, everything was becoming a complete nightmare.

I loved Edward, yes. I wanted him, yes. But morality and ethics meant more to me. I had been brought up properly by Carlisle and Esme – I didn't want to disappoint them. I had always made certain that I behaved in an appropriate manner. But with one simple movement, Edward was unraveling everything I'd worked up to be.

"Turn around," Edward demanded in a low, hoarse voice.

"No-" I struggled to push him away.

He grabbed my wrists to stop me. "No, Bella," he said, his expression and tone dark as night. His eyes were wild and untamed. "I've held back for too long."

"This isn't right!" I hissed.

His green eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. "I love you, Bella. I've loved you for years, and I've tried to stop. But it's no use. I can tell you want me too."

I stared at him, horrified. It was one thing to realize it on my own. It was another thing to hear it directly from him. "Edward, you can't do this. It's wrong. So please, just stop."

His jaw clenched, and I saw his determination. "No. Give into me, Bella. I want you. Now."

Before I could protest further, he silenced me with his urgent lips, leaving absolutely no room for argument. His kiss was completely intoxicating. As he deepened it, I found myself unable to fight anymore. He was too strong, much too powerful. He had so much influence over me, something I realized that I'd allowed over the years. I should've stopped this when I'd had the chance. I should never have wrapped my arms around him every time he came running to me. I should've pushed him away.

He was too dark, this man. He was consumed by darkness, haunted by his own desires. How could I have ever thought that I could be enough for him, that I could actually control him? I should've foreseen this; I should've known that sooner or later, he would lose control like this.

My worst fears were coming true. I was succumbing to the darkness too, being pulled down by Edward himself. He was forcing me to stay by his side by resorting to unfair, immoral means.

My dress fell away, and so did everything underneath. He removed his own clothes swiftly every few seconds or so. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. My brain was foggy, bewildered.

All I knew was that I was making a huge mistake, and that I would regret it in the morning...but I just couldn't bring myself to care at the moment.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter was pretty long, for me. But I'm sure you're not complaining, are you? Not when I just set off the most juicy part of the entire story! Reviews? Huh, huh? How about those reviews? I'm just dying to know what you're thinking about!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Forget

**Author's Note: IMPORTANT! I just want to say that I had mixed responses for the last chapter. I know that I can't always please every reader and that it's natural that I will get criticisms for my writing. And I also understand that it's a difficult theme and that some of you may disapprove of the way I'm writing this story. Yes, I completely understand that this topic is not what I usually write, but I do want to give this a try. Challenging myself as a writer is good for me, I think, and I want to move on from cliché topics. Maybe you don't like the dark Edward and tormented Bella I've created, but I do want to explore this in my own way. **

**It's okay if you feel like you can't read this anymore. But please do not indicate that you won't be following this story anymore in a review. As one reader told me in a review when I first started this story, **_**Motherof8**_**, she predicted that I was digging myself into a hole. That this story will be difficult for me, and that I would be struggling to finish this. She was right. Although I am still writing the chapters little by little, I still don't know where I want to take this. It's difficult already as it is, so I would really like some encouragement. I do intend to finish this story, and I will, but it will be hard if you are being unsupportive. **

**Might I remind you that this is merely a story. I write for fun, and I'm sure all of you read for fun. Please take this as a really good story that you've stumbled upon, and you read it because you're intrigued and are curious to see where the author is going with this. ;)**

**ALSO! Many of you thought the last chapter was based on rape. It's not. Please believe me when I say that what "Edward did to Bella" was rape. Bella may have seemed unwilling at first, but she did give in. She wanted him just as much as Edward did, no matter what she thinks about the event later on in the story. IT IS NOT RAPE. I'm sorry if my writing did not make it clear last chapter. **

**Now, after that really long AN, I think we're ready to read! It's a little bit short, compared to the last chapter, but still...enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

It was midnight when everything quieted. I could hear Alice and Jasper murmuring to each other as they cleaned up the mess that everyone had left behind. Edward had fallen asleep, his arms wound tightly around me, but I was still very much awake.

I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened the last two hours. Edward had forced me into his bedroom and had demanded answers. He'd forced me to come down with him. Down to hell.

I had truly hit the bottom.

What horrified me wasn't entirely the fact that Edward had actually confessed his feelings to me. The fact that I couldn't forgive was that I'd been enjoying the pleasure he made me feel, which was completely wrong.

I felt dirty and ashamed. I was a disgrace to society. So what if I had fallen in love with my older brother? I should've kept resisting instead of giving in.

I glanced behind me, at Edward. He looked relaxed as he breathed deeply in and out. For the first time in years, I saw that he wasn't frowning in his sleep, like he was having a nightmare. He had probably felt much better after finally blurting out his secret to me.

But what about me? Edward would feel better now, but what about me? This guilt, this shame... What do I do now?

I slipped out of his arms easily and sat up slowly, wincing when I felt the pain. He'd been hard and rough, yet gentle. I was aching all over already, and it hadn't been thirty minutes since he'd fallen asleep.

Tears prickling in my eyes, I glanced down at his sleeping face. He looked so innocent and warm when he was unconscious, but he was such a devil when he was awake. How could he do this to me? He said he loved me. Was this love? Bringing me down to the bottom of the pit and making me suffer in misery and guilt?

I knew I couldn't stay here. If Carlisle and Esme found us in his bed together, naked, they would get suspicious. If our siblings saw us, they would be horrified. As much as it would kill me, our forbidden interaction had to remain a secret.

Trying to swallow the big lump in my throat, I pulled the sheets over his perfect, muscular body to protect him from the cold. My hand trembled as I reached out to brush away the hair from his eyes gently. He frowned slightly at my slight touch, as though he was dreaming bad dreams again.

But I couldn't stay with him anymore. Our love was forbidden. We couldn't love each other. I couldn't do anything about his thoughts and actions, but I could control my own. I would force myself to stop loving him. I would forget him. He was my brother. I had to love him in the right way.

Forget it, Bella. Forget it. Forget tonight. Forget his touch and kisses. Forget his whispers of love. Forget everything.

Taking a shaky breath, I crawled out of his bed, shivering as the cool night air circulated around the room, causing goose bumps to erupt all over my bare body. Slowly, I leaned down to fetch all of my clothes and picked up my heels with my left hand. I took one last glance at him before closing the door behind me.

I was surprised no one had come up to look for me. Of course, Edward had locked the door while we had been in his bedroom, but still... They must have been quite preoccupied with their own fun.

If Alice or Emmett had knocked on the door and interrupted the moment, would Edward have stopped? Would he have regained control of himself or would he have simply ignored them until they went away?

I closed my bedroom door behind me and locked it securely. Biting my lip, I changed into new lingerie and stepped into my comfortable pajamas.

It was strange. My room was exactly as I'd left it before the party. My pajamas were as comfortable as they'd always been. I was in my safe zone.

But somehow, nothing felt right anymore. I didn't feel right in my own body. I felt tainted with something wicked, something quite not normal. I was no longer the Bella Cullen I'd always been. I was changing. Everything was changing.

Did I have the strength to turn my back on those changes and go on living as myself?

**Edward's Point of View**

I woke abruptly, as though I'd been slapped awake. I was breathing hard, as though I'd just run a marathon, and I was covered in cold sweat.

I knew for a fact that when I'd fallen asleep, I'd been dreaming of a beautiful, circular meadow with wildflowers and sunlight. She had been there. With me. We had been smiling and holding hands.

And then, everything had turned around. The scene grew dark and I returned to hell. The nightmare. It had returned.

In truth, it was nothing scary, like a horror movie. But what I saw every night was a situation that I feared the most: She was leaving me.

She would turn her back on me and start walking away. She never looked back once. She would disappear into the forest, and I would run after her, calling out her name. Pleading for her to come back. She never did.

I knew, even before I could glance beside me, that she had left me in the middle of the night. Sure enough, all traces of her were gone. Only the cold air of the nippy morning greeted me on the other half of the bed.

I sighed and closed my eyes, my arm covering them. _Why did you leave me, Bella? I was having such a nice dream...until you left._

I remembered last night so clearly. It was burned into my brain. I had made sure to remember every slight detail of those two precious hours. She had been in my arms. I'd had control over her. She'd responded willingly to everything I'd wanted.

She loved me too. She hadn't spoke the words, merely whispering now and then that what we had been doing was wrong, but I could feel it in her touch. It hadn't been just me.

But it wasn't that simple. I'd gotten what I wanted, but I was now worried about her. Knowing her, she would be beating herself up for giving into me so easily. She was a righteous person, with a straightforward impression of how someone should live his or her life. And she had broken the very rule she had created.

I had made her break it. I had pulled her all the way down with me to hell. She had no way out anymore. She would be fraught with guilt and shame. And, undoubtedly, she would try to stop herself from loving me.

The thought sickened me. It made my heart ache. How could I do this to her? She was my sister. She was the woman I loved. I had tried so hard to control myself. One look, and I couldn't do it.

The worst thing was, I knew that she wouldn't hate me. She had always been that girl, the girl who blamed no one but herself. She had blamed herself when Alice had gotten her knee scraped, trying to rescue our little sister from crashing down from a bicycle. She had blamed herself when Emmett had broken his arm, trying to get her down from a tree she'd climbed.

What was I going to do? Had she even gotten any sleep at all?

I sat up, groaning. I had to see her. I missed her already.

I took a quick, hot shower and dressed rapidly. I could hear voices downstairs already. When I was ready to go down, I glanced at the clock. I was surprised to see that it was ten o'clock in the morning.

I stopped by Bella's bedroom. Her door was slightly ajar. Her scent lingered, but she wasn't here.

I descended the stairs two at a time, getting worried. How would she act this morning? If our family noticed anything strange, she wouldn't be able to take it. Knowing her, she would want to keep everything a secret – and I would do so for her – but she was such a bad liar.

I paused behind the dining room door and listened intently.

"Come on, Bella," Alice was urging, bright and cheerful as always. "Eat some more."

There was no response. It was as though Alice was talking to herself, and Bella wasn't there at all. But a few seconds later, Bella said flatly, "Ow."

"Don't make me pinch you again," Alice warned playfully. "Now come on. Eat up. And look a little happier – it's first day of summer break and you're done with high school."

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see her face. I had to see what expression she was wearing. I had to see how I could help her through this. I had dealt with these emotions for years – surely, I knew more than her.

I opened the door and walked in slowly, my eyes immediately seeking her. She was sitting at her usual place, her head bowed and her fork stuck in a sausage. She wasn't moving.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Esme greeted me brightly. She rose. "I'll get your breakfast. Sit, Edward."

Bella froze when she heard my name. My heart sinking, I sat in front of her, watching her. Her eyes were trained on the edge of her plate. Her expression looked blank. She looked like a person who lost the will to live.

Instantly, my heart was shattering into a million pieces. Agony. Pure agony. What had I done?

I had been so afraid of destroying her pure and innocent soul with my sinful feelings for her. I had always been so careful around her, keeping myself in check again and again. After all those years of precautions, I had stepped over the line and ended up destroying her. I had destroyed her with my confession.

I didn't acknowledge the fact that a plate full of eggs and sausages had been set down in front of me. I was watching her. She looked extremely tired, as though she hadn't slept at all last night. She looked...lifeless. Dead. What was she thinking about right now?

"How was the party last night?" Esme asked.

Bella started, and a flash of guilt flickered across her face. She stayed silent and let Alice talk.

"It was marvelous," our sister chirped. "It was a great success!"

"Well, you certainly did a great job of cleaning up," Carlisle commented, smiling. "Although it did smell a bit like vomit and alcohol mixed with air freshener and perfume."

Alice, Emmett, and Jasper froze. Alice peeked at Esme, who was fighting back her laughter. "Heh. Guilty."

"I guess it's okay, once in a while," Esme sighed, shaking her head. "But if anyone asks, we knew nothing about this, alright?"

"Of course, Mother," Alice said formally. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"It was just a little bit of beer and whiskey," Emmett mumbled. "We didn't want the kids to be barfing all over so..."

"What did you say, son?" Carlisle asked innocently. "Speak up, please."

Rosalie groaned, clutching her head. "I don't know how Alice and Jasper sobered up long enough to clean this place up. I knocked out until eight this morning. Ugh, my head."

"Drink a lot of water," Carlisle advised.

"And sleep," Esme added. "We'll call your parents and say that you and Jasper are helping with the cleaning."

"Thanks, Esme," Rosalie mumbled. "Tell Mother we'll be home later."

My gaze shifted from Bella to Rosalie. My eyes narrowed. She should've known that parties were never safe. She shouldn't have been drinking. She should've been on the lookout for me instead. She promised to stop me before I crossed the line. Now, it was no use at all.

I didn't regret anything. I loved that I was finally able to hold her in my arms and kiss her all I wanted. The only thing I wanted to take back was forcing Bella to hit the bottom with me. I should've gone down myself. I was fine with destroying myself, but it was never okay to block her path.

"Where did you disappear off to, Bella?" Alice asked curiously. "One minute, you were checking Mike because he was throwing up all over the place, and the next, you disappeared. I had to clean up his vomit."

Bella looked sideways at her, looking startled. "What did you say?"

Carlisle stopped chewing and looked at her, cocking his head. His brows furrowed in concern. "Did you drink as well, Bella?"

Bella blinked. "No."

"Our Bella's too goody-good to do anything bad," Emmett said, smiling fondly at her.

I saw her wince slightly. "I'm just out of it. You know how much parties exhaust me." She returned to her blank thoughts.

"Did _you_ drink, Edward?" Emmett asked. "I didn't see you anywhere last night."

I glanced at him briefly, then looked down at my plate. "I was busy."

"With what?" Jasper teased. "Kissing a girl in your bedroom?"

Bella dropped her fork on her plate, which made a loud _clink!_ She coughed uncontrollably, reaching for her milk. She swallowed hard, trying to take deep breaths.

Her eyes were red. I knew that it had nothing to do with her coughing.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked, frowning and pounding her back.

Abruptly, Bella stood up, flinching away from Alice's touch. "Excuse me," she mumbled hastily before hurrying out of the room.

There was silence as we stared after her, surprised.

"Well, she certainly was in a hurry," Esme said finally. "She must have been quite out of it after the party."

"She'll be fine," Alice said, waving her worry away. "It'll probably take about a week for her to return to normal, but she'll be fine."

My eyes darted toward Rosalie, certain that she would be glaring at me. For the first time, I was thankful that she'd drank so much last night. Her headache was keeping her from being her usual scrutinizing self, and she merely rubbed her temples absently, her eyes bloodshot and drooping.

I turned back to my breakfast, my heart sinking down to my stomach. Bella was much worse than I'd anticipated.

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><p><strong>AN: Again, please realize that I would never put Edward as a rapist. He only did what he did because he knew for a fact that Bella loved him too. He would never have done it if she said she didn't want to. You'll see Bella's perspective in the next chapter. I'll try to update again this weekend, because it's a Veteran's Day holiday. And I don't go to school on Monday either. ;) Hope you enjoyed, and leave me lost of reviews! I'm loving the enthusiasm!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Exposed

**Author's Note: I hope you're all having a nice Veteran's Day holiday... Never let us forget those who served for our country so bravely... And also, thank you so much for all your encouragement and support! You're the best, all of you! I write for you all, and I will. I promise, I will not abandon this story. Trust me!Now...enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

_His hand was slipping underneath my dress... His kisses were unbelievably intoxicating... There was a sense of urgency in his every move..._

I bolted upright, panting. My heart was beating erratically quickly as I tried to slow my breathing. I ran my fingers through my hair, aware that I was covered in cold sweat.

And, for the third night in a row, I started crying silently.

How could such a beautiful dream seem like a nightmare to me? I had loved his touches...his kisses. It wasn't the fact that I'd been intimate with him that bothered me. It was that I had enjoyed it a little too much, and the man who had pleasured me had been my brother. It was eating me up from the inside out, like poison.

I was so scared. What if I couldn't do it? What if I couldn't hide my feelings? What if I couldn't stop loving him? If we got caught... If I got caught... This guilt... _What do I do?_

Avoiding him like the plague each day simply killed me a little more. I could tell that he was worried about me. Did he regret it? Did he regret confessing, regret touching me? The thought put me in even more agony. The darkness in his heart was threatening to consume both of us, and neither of us could control it anymore.

I'd tried everything. I tried to jog around the neighborhood or drive to my favorite bookstore in Port Angeles. Nothing distracted me. All I could think about was that night. His touches...our synchronized movements... They kept replaying again and again in my mind.

What scared me the most was that I wanted more. He had become my everything. My every thought, my every movement. There wasn't a single second that didn't go by when I didn't think about him. When would this madness stop?

I began to lose track of life. I didn't know where I was most of the time, or what I was doing. I would go into one room and stop dead, wondering why I'd gone in there in the first place. I would blank out during conversations, and I stopped eating. I stayed up all night, thinking about him, and I fell asleep when I saw the sun coming up. And I would bolt awake after about thirty minutes or so from the repetitive nightmares, and I couldn't go back to sleep.

This guilt was horrible. It became such that I started regretting that I ever spent those two hours with him. Those precious two hours...those dream-like two hours...it was becoming poison.

My family, of course, noticed. They were constantly trying to get me to open up. They would ask why I was doing this. They started theorizing different situations. Emmett suggested that I'd been dumped by a secret boyfriend. Alice wondered if I could possibly be missing high school. Jasper asked me if I was worried about something.

Rosalie was different. She had always been perceptive when it came to me, and she immediately jumped to the correct conclusion that Edward must be the source of all this. I caught her speaking to Edward in a corner of the house, demanding to know what he'd done to me. To his credit, he didn't say anything, though he did look just as lost and helpless as I felt.

I began to disappear without telling anyone. I found that I needed to be alone almost at all times, unable to withstand normal conversations. I started wandering to the strangest locations, where my siblings and friends would find me a few hours later.

Jasper found me up on a tree in the neighborhood park. Alice found me in the bathroom of the Port Angeles bookstore. Angela, having answered a worried call from both Esme and Alice, had gone out to look for me and found me sitting outside her house, hugging my knees to my chest. Emmett caught me leaning against a tree in the forest behind our house.

"What's wrong with you?" Emmett asked impatiently as he dragged me back into the house. "Don't you know the forest is dangerous? Don't ever go there again!"

He practically locked me back in my room. Like that would work. The next thing they knew, I would probably be at the local diner, drinking on a bar stool or something.

I sat on my bed blankly, feeling tired but too scared to sleep. Every time I dreamed of that nightmare, I became a little more depressed. What could be a beautiful life for other people was a nightmare to me.

There was a soft knock on my door. When I didn't respond, the door opened, and Edward came in. I watched as he moved slowly toward me, his expression guarded. "Where were you this time?"

His voice was just as weary as I felt. He sounded hopeless, like a man who had nothing left. He knelt down on one knee in front of me.

I blinked twice before answering. "In the forest."

"It's dangerous," he said.

"I know." Maybe that's why I'd gone there. I was drawn to dangerous things. The forest...Edward.

He hesitated. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said quietly. "I know this is very hard for you. It kills me to see you like this." He paused, and his face contorted in pain. "But I don't know what to do either."

A tear fell down my right cheek. "I'm so scared," I whispered, my lips barely moving.

"I destroyed you," he said, closing his eyes. "I didn't mean to. I tried so hard not to... I was going to do everything I could to stop. But I wasn't strong enough."

I stared at him. "Leave, Edward. I can't face you."

"Don't blame yourself," he pleaded.

"Don't you understand?" I asked, suddenly getting emotional. "I'm so ashamed! I'm so _guilty_! It's eating me up from the inside out! What would everyone say? What if they found out?" I shook my head. "I can't live like this. Please, just stay away from me. That's helping me."

He didn't move. The hurt in his eyes deepened, which was the final straw. That expression, that heartbroken expression on his face tipped me over the edge.

"Didn't you hear me?" I screamed at him. "Leave! Leave me! Now!"

Hurried, muffled footsteps grew louder as our family ran up the stairs and burst into my bedroom. They found Edward staring at me helplessly, tears in his own eyes.

"Shh, sweetheart," Alice shushed soothingly, sitting down next to me and hugging me. She tipped my head gently so that I was sobbing into her shoulder. "It's alright. You're fine."

Emmett placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Come on, bro. Looks like she needs some time alone."

Rosalie crossed her arms, the only one not wearing an expression of concern. "Why did you come in here? Why did you have to antagonize her?"

"Rosalie," Jasper warned his sister. When she looked at him, he shook his head minutely. "Now's not a good time."

She huffed and whirled around, flouncing away. Slowly, Edward rose to his feet. Emmett and Jasper dragged him out of my room while he glanced back at me longingly. Carlisle and Esme looked terribly worried as they, too, reluctantly followed the boys out.

As soon as the door clicked, Alice pounced on me. "What's wrong, Bella? Why are you doing this?"

I turned away from her, wiping my tears behind the back of my hand. "If you're going to question me, just leave. I want to be alone."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said instantly. She paused, then sighed. "I just...I'm just so worried about you. All of us are. And you know how Edward gets. I'm sure he was just trying to cheer you up-"

"Don't." My voice was abruptly cold and distant. "Don't say his name. It's not helping at all."

Alice grabbed my arm, making me flinch violently at her touch. It shot another flashback to that night. "Edward did something, didn't he? What did he do to you? What did he say that upset you? I'll kill him for you-"

"Just stop!" I shrieked, wrenching my arm from her tight grip. I burst into fresh sobs, pushing her away. "Just stop. Please...just go away."

Alice gaped at me, her eyes wide and frightened. "I'm...I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Leave!"

She got up immediately and scurried out of the room, somehow managing to shut the door behind her. I heard her hurrying downstairs, frantically calling Carlisle's name. "Dad! Something's wrong! Bella, she-"

I didn't hear the rest of it. I crawled underneath the covers and threw the sheets over my head.

_Please_, I begged my brain. _Just leave me alone. Stop playing back that night. Stop making me think of Edward. I feel like I'm going crazy._

How had he endured all these years? Hadn't he felt guilty at all? Hadn't he felt ashamed? How had he survived all by himself?

What we had done was morally wrong. And, unfortunately, I had been brought up to always maintain my morality. It was killing me.

**Edward's Point of View**

"Dad!" Alice called frantically, panicking as she ran down the stairs and into the living room. "Something's wrong! Bella, she-"

Carlisle held up his hand. "Slow down, Alice. I can't hear a word you're saying."

Alice looked terribly upset. "Bella. She just...she yelled at me. She's never done that before. She told me to stop talking about Edward, and when I asked if he said something that upset her, she just screamed at me to get out. I'm so worried, Dad. What's wrong with her?"

Carlisle looked at me. "Did you two fight?"

I was leaning back against the sofa, staring up at the ceiling blankly. I couldn't find the will to respond.

Esme sighed. "Edward, I understand that you love her and that you want to protect her from the world. But whatever you said to her doesn't seem right. Look at her. She's like a rebellious girl, going through adolescence or something. I want you to apologize to her when she's feeling better. Do you understand? Edward?"

I closed my eyes. "I didn't say anything to her." My voice sounded dead, lifeless. Almost uninterested. I had put on this mask for so long that my façade came out automatically now.

"Liar!" Alice spat. "Then why would she act like that? Bella's the most innocent and kindest girl in the world!"

_Don't I know it_, I thought. _I know that better than anyone. And I destroyed her._

"Then do you know what's wrong with her?" Carlisle asked calmly, ignoring Alice. "Is that why she yelled at you?"

What was I supposed to do? How could I help her get through this? What could I do to snap her out of this? Go back to Harvard? Just leave her to cope alone?

I couldn't do that either. I knew my limitations very well now. I wasn't strong enough to give her up anymore. I'd loved her for too long to back out now.

Emmett grabbed my arm, looking intently at my face. "You don't look so well either. Are you sick?"

I pushed him off and stood up. My eyes rested on Carlisle, who was staring back at me confusedly. If he, the moral compass of the family, ever found out what I'd done, he was probably going to kick me out of the house. Compassionate and reasonable Carlisle would probably kill me for practically raping his daughter.

I looked away, feeling sick. I walked out of the room, ignoring the calls of my siblings.

**Bella's Point of View**

I'd really tried everything. I'd cried, and I'd thrown a tantrum. I'd locked myself in the bedroom, the bathroom, and even the basement. Whenever someone talked to me, I was as tense as a wary deer. Whenever Edward was brought up, I would instantly snap at the person talking to me in order to hide my fear of getting caught.

A part of my brain was telling me that it was ridiculous, what I was doing. How could they find out? Edward would never tell unless I gave my permission. I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone.

But the guilt played its role again. My conscience whispered for me to give up. _It was no use. They would find out. They would find out. They would..._

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><p>Carlisle and Esme made sure I wasn't alone in the house before they left for the grocery store. Emmett and Jasper assured me that they were going to be in the backyard, playing ball. Alice and Rosalie were in the kitchen, baking cookies. They were all afraid of antagonizing me and had been giving me a lot of space lately.<p>

But that didn't help either. Being alone in silence gave me more room to think about him. It wasn't helping at all. Nothing helped anymore.

I couldn't take it anymore. I'd reached my limit too. I hadn't slept in almost two weeks. I had lost a lot of weight. My mind was bewildered all the time. My brain felt addled, like I was insane. I had to stop this madness before I really went crazy and got locked up in a mental institution.

Edward entered the living room and stopped dead when he saw me sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, my knees brought up to my chest. I was rocking back and forth, trying not to cry.

He approached me warily. "Bella?"

"Go away," I whispered.

"Bella," he said. "Please don't wreck yourself like this. It's killing me to see you this way."

My head snapped up. I glared at him, tears shining in my eyes. "It's all your fault!" I accused, the tears falling. "You made me like this. You're the one that made me like this. It's all your fault!" I screamed the last part.

"Bella-" He knelt in front of me and reached out, trying to calm me down.

"No!" I tried to push him away. When he kept calling my name, it stirred up memories of that night. His soft, musical voice... His voice echoed in my ears. My hands flew up to my ears, trying to block out the sound. "No! Go away! Stop!" I screamed in a vain effort to drown out the sound of his voice that was ringing in my head.

The back door sounded like it was being kicked open. Emmett and Jasper stopped dead, shocked at the sight. "Oh, God."

Alice and Rosalie hurried from the kitchen as well, panic etched onto their faces. The front door burst open, and a few seconds later, Carlisle and Esme, too, ran in, carrying grocery bags.

"Bella, listen to me!" Edward demanded, trying to pull my hands away from my ears.

I fought back violently. "Stop! Stop! I don't want to remember anymore! Stop!"

"Edward!" Esme darted forward, the grocery bags dropping. She pushed him away and took me into her arms. "Shh, sweetheart. It's okay. It's okay."

"Mom... Mom..." I cried. I didn't like that she was trying to hug me. He had done that too. I grabbed her wrists and held it firmly. I forced her to look at me. "Mom. I don't like it. I don't like what I'm feeling. Make it stop. Please, make it stop..."

"Stop what, sweetheart?" Esme asked, her attention completely on me. I detected fear and anxiety in her eyes, but she was putting on a show to lessen my agitation.

I finally stopped fidgeting and stared at her. "Make it stop, Mommy."

"What do you want Mommy to stop, honey?" Esme asked again, speaking as though I was a child. "Tell me. I'll make it stop."

Edward's face had hardened. "Bella, don't do this. You're destroying yourself. If you'll just let me-" He reached out toward me again.

"Stop!" I shrieked, flinching away from him. "Stop! Just stop! I can't do this anymore. I can't take it! I can't keep it a secret anymore! I'm going insane!" I shook my head quickly, my hands flying up to my ears again.

"Bella, please..." Esme was crying now. "Tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."

"I can't take it anymore!" I screamed. "I love him! I love him! I slept with him! I feel so guilty! I can't live like this!"

Alice gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth. "Bella! What are you saying?"

Emmett was abruptly focused. "Who, Bella? Who did you sleep with?"

"He's my brother," I sobbed. "He's my brother...but I love him. I feel like I'm going to die without him. It's wrong, but I love him..."

Edward paled, looking stricken. He sat down hard on the floor, having given up. There were tears in his eyes too. I'd finally exposed his darkest secret.

"What?" Emmett whispered. "What did you say?"

"Oh, my God," Alice breathed. "What is..."

Rosalie closed her eyes, hanging her head. "Goodness gracious, Edward," she whispered. "You _slept_ with her?"

Jasper's eyes widened, and he grabbed his sister's arm. "You knew about this, Rose? You _knew_?"

"Edward?" Alice shook her head, as though trying to deny the situation. "Is this true? It's not. Right? Tell me it's not true!"

Suddenly, Emmett fell to his knees. As he did so, he grabbed Edward by the shirt. "You bastard. What did you do to her? _What did you do?_" He shook him roughly. "You're destroying her! How could you do that to her? _How could you?_"

"I love her!" Edward suddenly defended himself. Tears brimming in his eyes, he stared up at our elder brother defiantly. "I've loved her for years! I had to keep it to myself because I knew it was wrong. But what was I supposed to do? She loves me too! I can't stop, and she can't either!"

Carlisle dropped the bags that he'd been holding, looking stricken. Emmett exhaled sharply, backing away in shock. "You...what?"

I couldn't stop my tears. It was automatic now, uncontrollable. I was starting to hyperventilate.

"I love her," Edward said steadily. Another tear dropped and cascaded down his handsome face. "Do you think it was easy for me, loving my sister in a way I shouldn't?"

"Oh, my God," Esme gasped. Her hand slowly made its way up to her mouth. Recognition flared through her. "Oh, my God." She glanced back at Carlisle abruptly, looking horrified. "What have we done, Carlisle?"

Carlisle just stared back at her blankly, speechless. Esme burst into fresh sobs. "What have we done to you?" she moaned. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault!"

Bewildered, Alice stared at her. "What are you saying, Esme?"

Edward, too, looked round at her slowly.

"We've ruined your lives." Esme gasped for breath. "Oh, dear God. How could this happen? How could this have happened?"

I was shocked to see Carlisle just as shocked. He stumbled and grabbed for the wall to steady himself. "Oh, dear Lord. Charlie, what do I do?"

"What are you saying?" Edward asked sharply. "What are you talking about?"

"It's not your fault, Edward," Esme said brokenly. "It's ours. I shouldn't have... I was too greedy..."

"It was a mistake," Carlisle said faintly. "We should've known...predicted... We should've taken control of it..."

"What are you saying?" Edward nearly roared. "Tell me now!"

I gasped wildly for breath.

"Bella..." Esme whispered. She looked up at me, her face tear-stricken. "She's not...she's not our daughter."

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><p><strong>AN: RAWR! Edward comes right out and says it! And Esme admits the secret she and Carlisle have been keeping from them all these years! What will happen next? Reviews!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10: Strangers

**Author's Note: Hi, y'all! Loved all your responses for the last chapter! We got over forty reviews in the first day! Keep 'em coming. And here's the next installment! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

We all just stared at Esme in shock. I'd stopped breathing, my eyes still wet.

Emmett finally said the one word that was all our heads. "_What?_"

"Stop lying," Edward said harshly. "Do you think trying to protect us is going to help right now? It's not helping at all. Especially since I've lived with this for years."

"No, no," Esme said, shaking her head. "It's the truth. Bella...she-" She choked on her own words.

Carlisle took over. "We took Bella in when she was a baby. Her parents, our closest friends, died in a car accident...and since we were her godparents, the legal guardianship came over to us."

Silence. I couldn't believe my ears. My parents...weren't my parents? What? This wasn't making any sense.

"But that's not going to help," Jasper said, looking confused. "If you adopted her, then there's still no way Edward and Bella's relationship could be counted as legal."

Esme sobbed harder at that. "I'm so sorry... I was greedy..."

Carlisle sighed, closing his eyes. "We never legally adopted her."

My breath came out in a loud whoosh. "_What?_" I whispered, disbelieving.

Carlisle's weary eyes met mine. "I'm sorry, Bella. We were initially planning to adopt you, but we thought that maybe you should have a say in the adoption. But you were much too young when we took you in, and so we waited.

"Over the past few years, we grew fond of you. We loved you like you were our own daughter. We wanted to adopt you, and you were old enough to know, but..."

"But what?" Emmett asked impatiently when Carlisle hesitated. "Don't stop now!"

"I'll tell you," Esme said, sniffling. "We kept delaying asking you because I was afraid. What if you didn't want to be with us anymore? What if you felt betrayed because we kept everything a secret? What if you left us? I couldn't bear it. I loved you too much to end everything. So we kept delaying it. We had no idea what it was doing to the both of you..."

Edward looked stricken. "She's not my sister...?" he murmured. "After years of enduring through this hell...I find out she's not my sister?"

"I'm so sorry, Edward," Esme whispered. "We didn't know what it was doing to you. If you had just told us-"

His eyes flashed to her. "How can I tell you?" he asked angrily. "You would've thought I was crazy. You wouldn't have approved. It would've wrecked our family. How could I tell you?"

I gasped for breath. Another bomb had landed in my life. My love for Edward had been allowed...but now, I find out I had been lied to my entire life? What?

"It's our fault," Carlisle said. "We're not denying that. It's just-"

Edward stood abruptly, his face hardened. "You've lied to us our entire lives. You made me like this. I've been suffering all these years for no reason."

Esme scrambled to her feet, fearful. "Edward, sweetheart... Please, try to understand-"

"I don't want to hear it!" he snapped. "She wasn't my sister! I blamed myself all these years for having the wrong feelings for her. _And you expect me to understand that?_"

"Oh, my God," Alice whispered, her knees buckling. "Oh...oh..."

"You..." Everyone felt silent and looked at me warily. "You...lied to me?"

Esme reached for me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. We didn't mean to... I didn't mean to..."

"Get away!" I scrambled to my feet, fresh tears leaking out of my eyes. "I trusted you. I loved you! How could you do this? Even if you were afraid, you should've told me! You should've told us! I've loved him for years, and I've suffered for it! How do you expect me to forgive you?"

Esme gasped for breath. "Bella, Bella..." She called out frantically as I ran up the stairs. "Bella! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry-"

I slammed my bedroom door behind me and ran into the bathroom. I started the shower and went inside without taking my clothes off. How could this be? I just wanted to drown myself. My entire life...a lie.

I'd been an orphan. I'd never had parents, not even adoptive ones. I'd never had siblings. I'd been going insane because I thought I had fallen in love with my own brother. My entire world was crumbling down.

_Why me?_

* * *

><p>For the next couple of days, I stayed in my room. I cried, I sobbed, I blanked out. I drowned my sorrows in the shower and refused to eat. My door stayed locked, and I blocked everyone out. Especially Edward.<p>

I knew that it was fine to love him freely now. We weren't blood-related, we didn't have the same parents – we were strangers. He was my godbrother, yes, but it didn't matter anymore. Thinking about him brought up bad memories, and I felt more betrayed than ever. How could I face him? How could I face the people whom I'd thought were my family?

Who were my real parents? Why had they gone out without me? Why had they gotten themselves killed when they'd had a daughter to take care of? Why had they made my life hell?

The house became quiet. Rosalie and Jasper hardly seemed to come over anymore, feeling as though we all needed some family time. Alice and Emmett tiptoed around the house quietly, anxiously. Carlisle would go to the hospital, then return quietly. I would hear Esme bursting into tears at random intervals sometimes.

Edward tried continuously to get me to open up. Fortunately for me, the key to my bedroom door had been lost years ago when I'd accidentally flushed it down the toilet, and we had never bothered to replace it.

He didn't sound particularly changed or affected at all. It was like before, when he loved his own sister. His voice was stern and demanding, and I sensed his darkness all the way from my bed. Was it too late to change himself? Had it been too long for him to change back to his happy, cheerful self? Was he destined to live his life shrouded in darkness forever?

My heart ached. I'd learned to love, and I'd learned of betrayal. I had trusted my loved ones too much. I had trusted Edward too much. And now, I was paying for it.

I didn't know why I was so shocked at learning the truth. Perhaps it was because I'd been suffering from the guilt for so long that it was unforgivable to learn that I'd been worrying for nothing. As big as my faith and trust had been in my family, the betrayal came at me greater and stronger.

What did I have to do now? I didn't want to suffer anymore, but I didn't want to go back to my old life either. That life had been fake too. It had all been a lie.

What do I do? What do I do?

* * *

><p>After about a week of grieving and trying to deny the truth, I finally made my decision. I had to move on. If I was going to create a new life for myself, I had to do all I can. I had to try my best at anything.<p>

I woke up to the sound of Edward's frustrated, menacing voice. "Bella, don't you think you've done enough? It's time to accept the truth."

I sat up slowly. Of course he would think that there would be nothing in our way anymore. That was the only worry he'd ever have – the fact that he loved his own sister. Now that his obstacle was out of the way, he would only be thinking of loving me freely. He would think that we could live our lives happily from now on.

Unfortunately, that was not the case for me. He could move on happily, but I couldn't. There was a huge gaping hole in my life, and I intended to fill it in.

Ignoring his demanding pleas, I locked myself in the bathroom. I took a proper shower without my clothes, and I took my time drying my hair. When I finally looked like myself again, I headed for my closet to dress.

After throwing my pajamas in the corner and putting on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie, I was ready to present myself. I glanced coldly at the pile of pajamas I'd been wearing for a week now. I would burn those later.

I opened the door abruptly, startling Edward. He looked dumbfounded at my normal appearance. "Bella."

I stared at him coolly before brushing past him and heading downstairs. After a moment of shocked silence, he followed me.

The family was sitting quietly in the living room, watching the news. Rosalie and Jasper had come over too. They all sat up expectantly when they saw me.

"Bella," Esme breathed. "I'll get your breakfast." She made to rise.

"Sit," I said harshly. She paused, taken aback. "Please," I added, trying to sound more humane. It didn't work.

She sat, her hand moving idly to Carlisle's. He grasped it tightly, squeezing in reassurance. Emmett moved slowly as he turned the TV off with the remote.

I sat down in front of them, studying them intently. I should've known. I looked nothing like them. Why had I never spotted this huge hint that had been right under my nose?

Edward, too, sat down. He was watching me warily, wondering what I was up to. Alice exchanged worried glances with Emmett. Rosalie stared at me, looking for something off. Jasper's eyes flickered back and forth between the entire family, probably wondering if he and his sister should leave us.

"I want to know," I said. "About my parents."

Esme caught her breath. Fear crept into her eyes. She was undoubtedly thinking that I would indeed leave them. It was ironic how they hadn't told me anything because they were scared that I would abandon them, but everything had turned out horribly. They should've told me in the first place.

Carlisle nodded slowly. "You deserve to. We don't blame you." He squeezed his wife's hand again. Esme glanced at him, pleading with her eyes. Carlisle looked at her and said softly, "We can't keep her from the truth anymore, Esme. She deserves to know. And it would be an insult to our friends' memories." He turned back to me. "What do you want to know?"

"Their names. Their relationship with you. How I came to this family. Tell me everything."

"Their names." Carlisle sighed wistfully. "Charlie and Renee Swan. Charlie was the police chief of Chicago, where we used to live. Renee was a high school teacher.

"Your parents and I had been friends since high school. And then, I met Esme in college, and we all sort of fell into place. We married right after graduation and had Emmett, then Alice. And then, your parents married when Esme was pregnant with Edward.

"You were born Isabella Marie Swan, a year after Edward. Charlie and Renee named us your godparents, and we would babysit you often when your folks went out."

My eyes narrowed. "The accident?"

"There was a bad storm that night," Esme said quietly. "Your parents had run out on an errand and had left you with us. They weren't going to be gone for more than an hour..." She sniffled. "There was a call. They didn't make it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat down. I was _not_ going to cry. I was in control of this situation. I was in charge. "How old was I?"

Esme suddenly rose to her feet and hurried out of the room. Carlisle looked after her before replying, "Barely a month. You had no other relatives. The guardianship came over to us. Naturally, we took you in. We talked about adopting you, and went even as far as settling the adoption papers."

My eyes narrowed. "But?"

"Like we said, we wanted to make sure it was what _you_ wanted. Other families wouldn't have cared; they would've probably just adopted you. But nevertheless, that's what we did. We decided to wait until you knew what was going on."

Esme reentered the room, carrying a rather big, decorative box. She held it out to me hesitantly. "This will probably answer most of your questions."

I took it slowly and opened the lid. Inside were baby scrapbooks, journals, and pamphlets and brochures about babies. My birth certificate was there too. The lump in my throat rose again.

I turned over the baby scrapbook and stopped when I saw a picture of a smiling couple. I took it out slowly, mesmerized. The man was handsome and tall, with beautiful brown eyes that looked just like mine. The woman was beautiful, with long brown hair and a bright smile.

"Your parents," Carlisle confirmed. "You'll also find that they left you some money. I'm not sure how much, but I guess you can find that out."

I spotted insurance documents at the very bottom of the box. I couldn't repress it anymore. Tears formed in my eyes. I was blown away by the fact that they had died, leaving me nothing but a box full of memories and some money.

"Bella, we want you to know that nothing is going to change," Esme said. "We know that it's a bit of a shock, finding this out so late, but we never meant to fool you. Just know that we've always considered you as our daughter, and we love you very much. Don't think any of that will change."

I looked up at her, incredulous. "Nothing will change? That may be the case for you, but everything changes for me. Have you thought about how I would feel? I've called you my mom and dad for eighteen years, and suddenly, I find out that I don't have a speck of your blood in me. That changes my entire perspective."

"Bella-" Esme pleaded.

"What angers me is that you've made me go through everything I shouldn't have. I was under the impression that I loved my own brother, and I've suffered for it. I felt so guilty, I even thought about killing myself.

"But what really ticks me off is that you've made me into a fool. I've loved you and trusted you for eighteen years, so much that the betrayal was greater than the fact that I loved my own brother."

I rose to my feet. "I know you were afraid that I would leave you if I did find out the truth. But I guess it backfired on you. Thank you for raising me all these years. But don't send the tuition money to Princeton. I'll take care of myself from now on."

I turned and headed for the stairs. I carried the box up to my room and closed the door, just as I heard Esme bursting into tears. The rest of the family was silent, as though stunned by my harsh words.

_Why can't you forgive them?_ A part of my brain asked. _They raised you. They love you. Stay with them._

_I can't forgive them_, I responded. _It hurts to much to think about it. It hurts to see them. It may not be such a betrayal that other people would leave their adoptive families, but the situation with Edward pushed it over the line. I can't forgive that. Regardless of what our true relationship is, the fact that I had to actually go through hell thinking that he was my brother was, in itself, hell._

I dumped the box's contents on my bed. I was about to reach for the baby scrapbook when a checkbook caught my eye. I reached for it hesitantly. A checkbook for what?

There were only receipts for frequent deposits, rather than records of money going out. What kind of a checkbook only made deposits? Opening the flap of the cover, I spotted the business card of the bank.

I glanced at the calendar. I'd lost track of time during my solitude. Monday. The bank would be open. I reached for my phone and dialed the number.

"J.J. Holdings Bank," a bright, cheerful voice greeted me. Too cheerful for me. "This is Maya Hart speaking. How may I help you today?"

"I'd like some information," I said in a low voice. My tone was extremely contrasted with Maya's.

"Of course, ma'am. What would you like to know?"

Overly helpful. "I have a bank account number. Can you tell me how much money there is in the account at the moment?"

"May I have the number, please?"

I spoke the numbers slowly and precisely. I could hear her typing on her keyboard quickly. "Hm. The names on the account read Charlie and Renee Swan."

A chill went down my spine. Up until now, the fact that I'd had actual biological parents had never sunk in. Knowing that something real had their names on it felt strange. "Yes, that's right."

"Well, it seems you're one of our VIP clients," she chirped. "You have over two million dollars in the account."

Over two million dollars? What could've the account been for?

"Your last deposit was...nineteen years ago." She sounded surprised. "Would you like to make a deposit, ma'am?"

Carlisle and Esme must not have known about the account. No doubt they would've kept making frequent deposits. "Is it possible to find out what the account was for?"

"Um...I'm sort of confused. Are you Mrs. Renee Swan?"

There was silence for a long moment. Finally, I spoke. "Renee Swan has deceased. I'm her daughter."

"Oh! I'm sorry." She sounded worried at the possibility of having offended a VIP client. "So you don't know what the account is for?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out. Please help me, Maya. I'm in a tight situation here."

"Um, well, it's a private account," Maya said doubtfully. "It's not business or anything... We usually don't keep track of its purpose...or maybe we do." She sounded abruptly focused. "Since a large sum of money was deposited, your parents may have stated a purpose for it. I'll have to ask the manager. Will you hold for just one second?"

"I'll wait."

"Thank you." There was a small beep, and I was left alone.

I looked down at the insurance documents. Slowly, I flipped over the pages bemusedly. I had no idea what any of them meant. I stopped at one document where my name was printed neatly in bold. Beneath it, Charlie and Renee Swan's names were printed as well.

My eyes jumped down to the center of the page. Blah, blah, blah... My eyes widened when I saw that there was a considerable amount of money here too. These documents were about the life insurances of Charlie and Renee Swan. The beneficiary? Isabella Swan.

I reached for the other documents, in another bound pile. I flipped through it, confused at the different insurance company. I froze when I saw my name. I scanned it toward the bottom...

This was about their wills. Charlie and Renee must not have anticipated that they would both die so soon. They had both forwarded everything that they had to their daughter when she became of the age that they had specified. But the age printed was twenty-five. I would have to wait until I was twenty-five to inherit their wealth.

"Money?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "All you left me...was your _money_?"

I shoved the documents away and flipped through a navy folder. I was appalled at _how_ much they had left me. These documents contained information about the buildings that the Swans had owned. They were being managed by a lawyer named Jason Jenks.

Had they been some kind of billionaires, my parents? Had they derived from wealthy families? This was just the greatest period of my life, wasn't it? First, I find out that I had biological parents other than Carlisle and Esme, and then I find out that I'm some kind of heiress. What a life.

"Miss Swan?" Maya was back. "Are you still there, ma'am?"

The name sounded strange. "I'm here."

"Okay. The details to the account were accessed by my manager. There's a side note that your parents have made."

"What does it say?" I asked dully.

"Apparently, it's for your college tuition. It seems your parents have been collecting money for your education, ma'am."

College? "When was the account opened?"

"Twenty-two years ago, ma'am."

They hadn't even been married then. But they must have been planning to, if they'd been so well-prepared for everything. Fine. If they'd left me money for a purpose, I was going to use it for that purpose. But I wasn't going to Princeton, where everyone would be able to find me.

"Is it possible to withdraw a few grand right away?" I rose to my feet and headed for my desk, where several large envelopes were still waiting to be chosen. I picked up a white envelope and studied the name of the university. "I'd like to send my tuition in."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm aware that all this may seem unrealistic. I know that high school diplomas and college applications need to have a person's legal name on it. But for the sake of the story, let's all disregard those bothersome details, okay? Thanks! Review, review, review! I want to hear your thoughts!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11: Gone

**Author's Note: Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**Edward's Point of View**

What was she doing? It was all I could think of as I watched the woman I love make constant phone calls. She would ignore all of us. She would relocate to her bedroom and to the garden numerous times, making a constant companion of her cell phone.

Who was she calling? Mike Newton? Or that boy with whom she'd tried to sleep with? I tried to fight back my frustration and anger. I wasn't an idiot. I knew that she was making plans to leave us – to leave _me_. I knew that I had to hold her back, but I didn't know where to start.

Her expression was cold. Her eyes were merciless. She had changed into me, in a matter of weeks. And I didn't like that.

"What is she planning?" Alice asked frustratedly, watching Bella from the window. "All she does is call around. I don't get it."

Esme looked blank, as though she had given up trying to hold her daughter back. For days, she had pleaded and begged for Bella to listen. She had insisted that she couldn't leave, saying that nothing was going to change for us. But all she got in return was an icy disregard. Bella was refusing to listen.

As much as I resented Carlisle and Esme for making me endure hell for years, I couldn't help but feel worried. Bella had always been the peacemaker of our family. The glue that held us all together. If she left...what would happen?

Esme would be heartbroken. Carlisle, saddened. Emmett and Alice would be upset at the prospect of losing a sister. And I... What would I do? Break down and die? Kill myself?

I watched as Bella smiled briefly as she listened to the other end. Her mouth formed the words _thank you_ before she hung up. She swung on the hammock gently, lost in thought.

It seemed as though she wasn't grieving anymore. It was like she had traveled to another world. The only clue that she was still aware of Carlisle and Esme's betrayal was the fact that she ignored them when they tried to reason with her.

I stood abruptly. I wasn't going to let her go easily. Nothing _had_ changed, as Esme said. She could never escape from me.

**Bella's Point of View**

My phone vibrated once more, and I saw that Angela was calling. I'd found out a few days ago that she had been the one to tell Edward about my attempt with Austin. Appalled, I had hung up on her and had refused to return her calls.

She had been the initial cause of the chain of events. If it hadn't been for her, I probably wouldn't have been dragged upstairs to Edward's room, and he probably wouldn't have been angry enough to bed me. He would've been able to control himself.

But I hesitated this time. Angela had been my best friend since kindergarten. We had been practically inseparable. At this time of my life, where I had lost my family and friends, I needed someone trustworthy to rely on. And I knew that, while I couldn't forget her betrayal, no matter how accidental, I could trust Angela.

"Hello?"

"Oh, thank God! Bella, I'm so sorry!" I knew that she had burst into tears. "I am so sorry! You have no idea how scared I was!"

I pursed my lips. "You should've known better, Ang."

"I know, I know," she moaned. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry..."

"I don't know about forgiving you," I said, sighing. "So many things have happened because of that night."

"Did something bad happen?" Angela asked timidly. "Was Edward very angry with you?"

I contemplated the question, then smiled bitterly. "He seemed to calm down when I told him I didn't go through with it."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"But he did something far worse than hit me," I said softly.

"What?" She sounded fearful again. "What did he do?"

My eyes flickered to the left, where Edward had approached me. Judging from the look on his face, he knew exactly who I was talking to.

Looking at him, I felt the tears starting again. "I'm going to have to call you later, Ang. I'll tell you everything. I promise."

There was silence on the other end. And then, Angela agreed reluctantly. "Alright. I'll be waiting." There was a click as she hung up.

"Why?" Edward asked as I lowered the phone. "You should've just told her. You tell her everything."

"I will tell her," I said. "Soon."

He stared at me. "You can't leave me, Bella. You know that."

"I can't?" I gave him a small, rueful smile. "You know what I realized? I could've done anything that I wanted to do, even when I was young. When Mike Newton first asked me out, I could've gone out with him. When I saw you with all those flirty girls, I could've slapped them and forced them to ditch you. But I didn't. I asked myself why I didn't give you hell when I could have so many times."

"And?" Edward said quietly. "Why didn't you?"

"I don't know." The tears prickled my nose. "I may have loved you then. I may not have realized it. But I don't know what the truth is."

"Well, you didn't abandon me back then," he said. "So don't abandon me now. I can't live without you."

"No," I corrected. "You can. You just haven't tried. You've been chained down by your feelings, but that should all be gone now. Nothing was forbidden. It was just unfair, for me."

"So you're going to leave me?" He sounded disbelieving. "That sounds...wrong. Impossible."

"I want to end things," I said. "The first eighteen years of my life was all a lie. I want to start a new life before it's too late."

"Bella-" he started to argue.

"But Edward," I interrupted, my heart breaking. I had to tell him. He had to understand. "If I don't take this opportunity...I'll regret it. And I hate regrets. You know that."

An angry tear cascaded down his left cheek. "Bella..."

"I've had so many regrets when I realized I loved you. And so many what-ifs. What if you hadn't been my brother? What if we had lived as strangers? What if you weren't so dark? What if I wasn't so diffident?"

"Isabella Cullen," Edward stated harshly. "Stop it right now. You're not being yourself."

I rose to my feet. "Wrong." I met his eyes evenly. "I'm not a Cullen anymore."

I brushed past him, heading back into the house. Suddenly, I was brought to an abrupt halt when he captured me in his arms from behind. I froze, taken aback.

"Don't do this," he whispered. His breath tickled the side of my throat. "Don't leave. Please."

Though my heart hated me for doing this to the man I loved, I slowly pried myself out of his arms. "Don't look for me, Edward. I won't be in the place you expect me to be."

I forced myself to walk on, leaving him in the garden. Alone.

* * *

><p>"WHAT?"<p>

I held the phone away from my ear, waiting for her to calm down. She started muttering to herself in shock before she yelled again. "You were in love with your own brother? You slept with him?"

"Didn't you hear what I said before I said all that?" I asked flatly. "He wasn't my real brother."

"Well, thank heavens for that! That would've been incest!"

"I've grieved, I've been in shock. I'm not completely over it, but everything that's happened so far has given me the motivation to start a new life."

"What are you planning, Bella?" Angela asked nervously.

"I'm not going to Princeton."

"WHAT?"

"Calm down," I said impatiently. I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder and struggled to close my suitcase. "I'm going to Dartmouth instead. It's still an Ivy League."

"But you said you told Carlisle and Esme not to pay for your tuition. Where will you get the money?"

"My real parents left me a ton of money. Can you believe it? They left me money, but they didn't leave me themselves. It's unbelievable."

"Okay," Angela said, trying to sound calm. "So you sent the tuition to Dartmouth."

"Yes. But don't tell anyone, not even Carlisle and Esme and particularly not Edward. I don't want any of them to know."

"What? When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"WHAT?"

"Angela." I sat down on my bed. "Listen to me. I have to get away from here. I don't belong here, do you understand? I can't live with them. I can't face Edward anymore. It hurts too much."

"But-"

"I'm going to Dartmouth tonight. I got an apartment near the university, since they ran out of single dorms. I'm going to go there, and you won't tell anyone. Not even Ben. Can you do that?"

"Bella..." She sighed. "Alright. Anything for you. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes. Now, I need a favor. Can you drop me off at the airport early tomorrow morning?"

"When are you leaving?"

"I have a five o'clock flight. I'm going to leave the house at three."

"In the morning? You really are desperate to get away from them, aren't you? Fine. I'll come pick you up."

I smiled. "You're the best, Angela. Thanks."

She sighed. "It's the least I could do. If I just imagine how much you've gone through all by yourself, it just breaks my heart. I'll be at the house, three sharp."

* * *

><p>I didn't take anything materialistic. No books, no CDs. Nothing but clothes and the box that Esme had given me. I set up my suitcase near the door and waited.<p>

Rosalie and Jasper left the house at ten in the evening. One by one, the family trudged upstairs to sleep. As usual, no one tried to bother me, not even Edward. They probably didn't think that I would be leaving in a matter of hours.

Edward's light went out last. He didn't seem able to sleep, and when he was finally able to do so, he seemed restless, as though having nightmares again. Unfortunately, I could no longer help him. He was on his own. He would have to make his own way through life. I loved him...but I was naïve enough to run away from bad memories.

When the clock struck three, I rose and put on my jacket. I glanced outside the window. Loyal Angela, always true to her word. She was already in place.

I headed for the door, but then looked back. I wasn't going to, but I felt wrong to just leave without writing a last message. I walked slowly back to my desk and took a post-it. I considered for a moment on what to say. Steadily, I wrote: _I'm sorry. And thank you._

I _was_ sorry, and I _was_ thankful. They had raised me with love and care, and I was abandoning them. They would refuse to understand that I was leaving for myself. That it was a greedy, selfish decision, but I had to.

I picked up my suitcase and left the room, quietly making my way toward the stairs. I paused in front of Edward's room. After a moment of hesitation, I put down my suitcase and opened his door quietly. He was frowning in his sleep again.

I walked over to him and watched his handsome face. Even in sleep, he looked tortured. How much had he suffered? I reached out and brushed away the hair from his eyes. He needed a haircut.

He seemed to relax slightly at my touch, as though he knew I was there. He sighed heavily. "Bella..." he whispered.

Tears formed in my eyes. "Yes?" I whispered back.

He shifted. "I love you."

A tear dripped down onto the sheets. There was a painful twinge in my heart. "I'm sorry." I withdrew my hand.

He didn't move this time. I turned my back on him, my heart aching, and walked out of the room. I left the door slightly open, since he had always woken up to the sound of the door clicking, no matter how softly. The drawback to this solution was that he would instantly know that someone had visited him in the night. And when he found out that I had left, he would know it was me. It would have to do.

I descended the stairs with my suitcase, heading straight for the front door. I slipped out into the cold and locked the door. I left my key balanced on the doorknob. Someone would pick it up when it fell down.

I hurried to Angela's car and placed the luggage in her trunk before joining her in the passenger's seat. "Thanks for doing this, Ang."

"Like I said, it's the least I can do." But Angela sounded worried. "Are you sure you're doing the right thing?"

"Positive."

"Did you leave a note?"

I looked out the window. "A brief one. Just that I was grateful...and sorry."

She was silent for a moment. "That's good, I guess. They'll understand, Bella. The Cullens are decent people."

"I know."

"What about Edward?"

"What about him?"

Angela sighed as she entered the freeway toward Port Angeles Airport. "He'll go nuts when he finds out you've left him. And then, he's too intelligent to think that I had nothing to do with this. He'll come for me. He'll probably leave me in my room, dying."

"You're exaggerating."

"Am not. Do you think he'll control himself when you're gone? I'm serious. What do I tell him?"

I squinted out at the light rain to keep the tears from falling. "Tell him...that I said sorry. But that I had to move on. It was my choice, Angela. All this was for me, not them. It was selfish and hypocritical, but the life I left behind wasn't mine."

Angela glanced at me. "You're right. It _is_ selfish and hypocritical, but it seems to be the best choice for you right now, which is why I'm going with it. You'll at least keep in touch with me, right?"

I smiled at her. "How could I ever cut contact with my loyal best friend? I'll call you with my new phone when I get one."

"You even left your phone with the Cullens?" She sounded appalled. "You're really serious about this!"

"Yes, I am. Don't drink anymore," I warned. "I don't want you blabbing to Edward about where I'm going."

"Don't worry," she said, with a little shudder. "I've vowed to shun alcohol for the rest of my life. I won't even drink for my bachelorette party."

"Thanks, Ang," I said. "I owe you one."

"Wouldn't they assume you've gone to a school? I mean, I'm sure Carlisle and Esme know you've inherited some money."

"They won't know which one. I didn't tell them all the schools I got into because I felt self-conscious. And I brought all the envelopes with me." I looked back outside the window. "My identity was a fake, but my effort in academics wasn't. I deserve at least that."

"Silly Bella," Angela said, shaking her head. "They would've been proud of you. That's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I was the only person who got into multiple Ivy Leagues."

"Well, you're a genius. So you didn't tell them you got into Dartmouth?"

"No."

We rode silently for a while. Then, she asked, "What do I call you now? I mean, you're not a Cullen anymore, are you?"

"No," I sighed. "I'll use my real name, I suppose. It'll take some getting used to, but..." I shrugged.

"So what is it? Your surname."

"Swan."

"Isabella Marie Swan." She smiled. "That's pretty. It suits you."

I smiled reluctantly. "Isabella Cullen didn't?"

"Well, maybe as a goddaughter, it did. But it does sound a little off."

"Off," I repeated.

Yes, my life had been off. What would my life look like from now on? I no longer had a family. I was truly alone. Truly independent.

**Edward's Point of View**

I felt that something was terribly wrong even before I opened my eyes. There was nothing abnormal around the house – I could hear Esme making breakfast downstairs, and Alice and Emmett were conversing quietly in the living room. Carlisle was getting ready for the hospital.

But something was definitely wrong. I sat up, trying to figure it out. My eyes fell on my slightly opened door. I never left it open while I was in the room.

That's when it hit me. The smell. There was a faint freesia and strawberry scent around me. And judging from the opened door, I knew that Bella had been here sometime during the night.

Why? Had she wanted to talk to me? What did she want?

I was considering the possibilities when I heard Alice walk past my room, heading for Bella's door. A flash of epiphany surged through me. I ripped myself off from the bed and ran after her.

"Oh, my God!" I heard Alice cry before I burst in after her.

I ripped the post-it note from her hand. I stared at her familiar handwriting. A short note. That was all she'd left. An apology and a thank you. This was her goodbye.

Her bed was made. Her room was left untouched. But I knew that her clothes were gone. The pile of college acceptance envelopes that had been on her desk was gone. The decorative box containing her parents' information was gone. Her cell phone was left in the middle of her desk. And her car was still in the driveway.

She was gone, leaving behind everything we'd ever given her.

"She's gone," Alice whispered disbelievingly. She stumbled slightly, her knees buckling. She grabbed the desk, looking devastated. "She left us."

Carlisle appeared, his light blue tie halfway tied. He stared at the both of us, expressionless. It was like he had expected it to happen soon. Like he had already accepted the her decision to leave us. Her eyes were filled with sadness, and his lips were pulled down.

Emmett appeared behind our father, looking alarmed. "What's the matter?" His eyes raked over the neatly made bed and the note in my hand. He knew instantly what the problem was. "Damn," he swore softly. "So she left."

Silence had fallen downstairs in the kitchen. It was like Esme already knew without seeing this scene, like a mother should. The entire house was completely silent.

"No," I said, suddenly furious. "It can't be."

"Edward," Alice breathed weakly. "Don't."

I rounded on her. "She can't do this to us! She can't do this to me!"

Crumpling up the note, I attempted to leave the room, but Emmett blocked the doorway. His face looked unusually dark, and it was then that I realized how much I resembled my brother. Emmett was a complete opposite of me – cheerful, playful, and optimistic – but he shared my temper.

"Don't, Edward," he warned. "She's long gone, can't you tell? How are you going to find her?"

"She probably left town," Alice said. "It must have been early this morning, or really late last night."

"Move, Emmett," I growled.

He didn't budge. "It's not like we didn't expect something like this to happen. It was her choice, Edward. Accept it."

"She can't leave me!" I roared at him. "How can she leave? She can't! Move, Emmett, or so help me, I will-"

"Shut up!" Emmett snapped, looking abruptly furious. "Shut your mouth right now, Edward Cullen!"

"Stop," Alice pleaded, but we didn't listen.

"She's important to me-"

"And she's not important to us?" Emmett countered. "I know you loved her, Edward. And I know that you wanted the chance to love her freely without feeling guilty. But what can we do when she's made her choice? Bella didn't want you. She chose herself. She didn't want to stay. She wanted to live her new life as her parents' daughter, and so she's gone. And we've got to respect that."

I stared at him, tears filling my eyes. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that he was right. Both my brain and my heart were telling me to accept it, that Bella had chosen her life over me, but I couldn't accept it. My heart throbbed as though a hundred knives had pierced through it. I dropped to my knees, unable to argue back.

Emmett knelt down next to me, his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Edward. But she's gone."

"She can't be gone," I whispered, my lips barely moving. "It doesn't seem real."

"She left everything here," Alice moaned. "All those years of living with her...didn't it mean a thing to her?"

Her words sparked an inspiration inside of me. She had left everything here, including her car. How had she gotten to the airport?

"Angela," I said, gritting my teeth. "She has to be involved."

"She didn't tell us she was leaving," Carlisle said heavily. "Would she have told her friend?"

"She tells Angela everything." I stood and brushed past Emmett, heading downstairs. I was fully intent on storming over to Angela's house and demanding answers.

It wasn't necessary, however, because at that moment, Esme and Angela came walking into the living room. Esme was trying her best to smile, but she was failing miserably.

"Angela," I growled. "Where is she?"

She didn't look particularly surprised. "Good morning to you too."

"WHERE IS SHE?"

There was a rush of footsteps as Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett came running down the stairs. They stopped dead when they saw Angela.

"I knew you were going to come over, but I didn't want upset my parents," Angela said calmly. "I knew you would figure out that I was somehow involved with Bella's disappearance."

"So you know," Alice said, her eyes wide. "Where did she go, Angela? Did you take her to the airport?"

"Yes," Angela admitted. "I picked her up at three in the morning and dropped her off. I just returned from Port Angeles."

"Where did she go? What flight?"

Angela looked at me directly in the eye. For the first time since she'd met Bella, she didn't seem at all scared of me. "I won't tell you."

I started to walk toward her, but Emmett held me back. "Please, Angela," he said. "We have a right to know."

"She told me not to tell you, especially Edward, and I promised her I wouldn't." Angela's chin came up slightly. "I wouldn't tell you, even if she hadn't made me promise. I made a huge mistake telling you about what she tried to do that night, Edward, and I regret it so much. I feel like it led to this whole thing, and while she forgave me for everything, I know that I'm indebted to her. I won't tell you, Edward."

"Angela!" I stared at her. "I need her. You know that."

"I'm sorry," she said, a flash of pity and sympathy crossing her face. "I'm sorry, Edward. I want to help you too, I really do. But Bella is my first priority. I just wanted to tell you that. Please don't come to me for news about Bella anymore. I won't tell you."

She turned to my family. "Bella asked me to tell you that she's sorry. But that she has to move on with her life. I'm sorry for your loss. But I can assure you that Bella will be safe and happy. She chose a path that was best for her, and she's strong. I trust her to do the right thing, and you should too."

Esme didn't respond immediately, but Carlisle nodded. "Thank you for coming, Angela. And thank you for being a good friend to Bella. You must be tired after a long morning. You should go home and get some rest."

She hesitated. "I'll be moving to Seattle soon for UW. I just...I wanted to say goodbye."

Carlisle nodded again. "I wish you luck, Angela. Thank you."

Angela glanced at me again, then winced at my expression. "I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered before turning and disappearing out the door.

"Bella needed her space," Emmett said. "Let's just accept it. It was her choice, anyhow."

Alice looked resigned. Devastated. "I miss her already."

I fell to my knees, shocked. Slowly, I looked down at the crumpled post-it in my hand. A tear fell down on the paper, smudging the ink.

She was gone. She was gone. My love was over, even before it could start.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know many of you might think that turning her back on the people who took her in is ungrateful. But do remember that she's young and naïve, and people do things they might regret in the future when they're young. Review!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12: Lawsuit

**Author's Note: Happy Thanksgiving! As a token of my thanks to the constant support of all my lovely readers, I post this next chapter of **_**Incest**_**. Enjoy, and I hope you have a lovely holiday! Be sure to thank all those around you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

**Seven Years Later**

Working in New York City was no easy feat. Especially at a prestigious, private high school for spoiled, rich students who thought they owned the world.

As a Dartmouth graduate in English Literature, I had been scouted by many well-known schools in the area through connections with my closest professors. At the age of twenty-five, I was now an English teacher for seniors, as well as the disciplinarian. And I excelled at it.

There were so many things to attend to during my free periods and break times. Spoiled kids thought money could gain anything, but they'd quickly learned that messing with the young Miss Isabella Swan wouldn't get them anywhere great. Somehow, she seemed to discover who had been the culprits behind senior pranks, graffiti in the bathrooms, and toilet paper all over the trees of the beautiful campus. And she was not lenient on misbehaving students.

I had control of the entire school. Even the teachers didn't dare mess with my stern gaze. And being an Ivy League graduate did help with the respect and reputation.

Within six months of my employment at Angels High School, the school was literally prestigious. Parents were no longer able to bribe their children out of high school, and the students were forced to study under my watchful glare. Hardly any of them misbehaved, especially while I was around. With respect for me built up, many male students began to follow me around, trying to woo me into dating them.

As if. I was a professional. I made sure they were back in their classrooms within five seconds of their attempt.

I always wore a neat business suit. Sometimes with suit pants or pencil skirts, my hair was almost always up in a ponytail. My signature item became a foot long, thin bamboo stick that I used to point out misbehavior. My pumps clacked menacingly, echoing around the hallways, alerting the students of my arrival.

I had changed much since my escape from the past. I had no one to look after me; I had to take care of myself. I'd grown stern and serious, having no time for jokes and fun. I'd studied hard and graduated early, earning much respect from my peers and professors. And when the job offers had flowed in, I had deliberately taken one from a school that I knew to be wealthy but unruly. I needed perfection.

I kept in contact with Angela, who had only recently graduated from the University of Washington. She claimed that she was going back to Forks to work as the high school's science teacher.

As for the Cullens, I had little news of them. Angela had informed me that the three siblings had succeeded in their respective careers, and that they had gone on their separate ways. While Carlisle and Esme still lived in Forks, Alice had set up her own fashion line. I'd recently witnessed her store settling in a huge area near Soho. Emmett's conglomerate company was rising to fame, while Edward had successfully become a lawyer. Last I'd heard, his joint law firm with Emmett's company was in California.

Angela had been my family for years now. But she lived all the way across the country, and we only called once every few months. We had all moved on from the heartaches of our teenaged lives.

* * *

><p>My heels clacked sharply throughout the hallway. The students glanced at me nervously, wondering if any of them were in trouble. Their eyes followed the rhythmic tapping of my disciplinary stick on my thigh.<p>

I stopped dead, then whirled around. Cocking my head, I approached a girl in the junior class slowly. She looked at me anxiously.

I looked pointedly down at her skirt. I used my stick to pretend to measure the length. "Looks like your skirt is shorter than mine, Miss Bate."

She bit her lip. "I have a meeting with my fiancé later."

"And you're not wearing your uniform either." I smiled at her pleasantly. "An express trip to the office, I think."

"Please, Miss Swan," she pleaded, shooting me her famous puppy dog look. "My mom said I had to look nice for him. This engagement is really important to my father's company. Can't you take pity on me just this once, Miss Swan?"

"Do I look like I care?" I asked mercilessly. "This may come as a shock to you, Miss Bate, but I really don't care whether your family declares bankruptcy or not. That's your business, not mine. Don't involve the school into your personal life. Go change into your gym clothes immediately, or it is a referral."

Sighing, she mumbled, "Yes, ma'am." She turned to open her locker to fetch her gym clothes.

I moved on. I stopped once more at a couple who seemed glued to each other's lips. "Mr. Getty, Miss Kite. I believe this is a school, not a neighborhood park. _Separate_."

At the sound of my voice, their eyes flashed open, and they immediately separated, looking flustered. "Miss Swan."

"I believe the bell will ring in exactly two minutes and forty-seven seconds. I suggest you hurry to your classrooms."

"Yes, ma'am." They scooted away.

"Miss Swan!" A history teacher came scurrying toward me. "There's a parent who's threatening to sue the school for putting her kid in detention yesterday. Go solve it!"

I raised my eyebrow. "What kind of an idiot is the mother?"

He gaped at me. "Don't insult her either! She's the wife of Benjamin Carlson!"

"I don't know who that is."

He sighed impatiently. "Just know that he's very influential. Go, Miss Swan. Please."

Brushing past him, I walked away toward the office, tapping my stick rhythmically against my shoulder. Sure enough, there was a fashionably dressed woman in her fifties, throwing a tantrum at the office administrators.

I intervened coolly. "May I help you, madam?"

Her eyes flashed to me. "Are you the principal?"

"Our principal is currently on maternity leave," I stated before repeating my question. "May I help you?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Isabella Swan. I'm the disciplinarian."

"Oh, so it's you, huh?" She pointed her finger at me. "You're the one that put my Nathan in detention yesterday!"

I smiled humorlessly. "Your Nathan deserved it, madam."

"What?" she shrieked. "How dare you?"

"I was under the impression that Mr. Carlson was feeling remorseful for his wrongful actions yesterday," I said mildly. "Or was that not the case?"

"I don't know what you threatened him with," she snapped. "But he was insisting that he was wrong, and told me not to come here and create a scene. My Nathan has never been wrong in his entire life! How dare you make him clean the bathroom? Do you know who my son is?" She raised her hand to strike me.

I grabbed her wrist and held her tightly, causing her to gape at me. I regarded her coldly. "I don't know who you think you are, madam, but this is a school. There are many watchful eyes here. I suggest you check yourself first before you insist your son is innocent. I witnessed him teasing an innocent girl for having less money than he did yesterday with my own two eyes. I simply taught him that his teasing was a form of bullying, and that he must never do it again. He's lucky I did not vote to suspend him."

"Liar," she hissed. "My Nathan wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Your Nathan made a girl cry," I corrected harshly. "Perhaps you should consider why he was doing it."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? Of course he should look down on those who are below us!"

"Then you have taught your son the vilest things on Earth, madam."

Her eyes bugged out. "What?"

"It is because of his parents' behavior that Nathan Carlson had detention with me yesterday for four hours. You have taught him to regard people without respect and equality. In my eyes, there is no difference between Mr. Carlson and the girl he harassed yesterday. He was perfectly in the wrong. And at the end of those four hours, Mr. Carlson felt the same. If he asked you not to come here and create such a scene, then you should have listened to him. Then you would not be suffering this embarrassment."

"You...you...you bitch!" she screeched, her face red.

The office door burst open, and her son came running in, panicking. "Mother! I told you not to come!"

"Nathan!" his mother shrieked. "Do something. This woman is simply horrid!"

Nathan faced his mother evenly. "Don't say that. Miss Swan is the most righteous person I've ever met. She was right about everything. I shouldn't have teased Nancy. So leave, Mother. I won't listen to anything you say from now on if you refuse to be reasonable."

His mother looked ready to explode. "What in the world are they teaching you here at this dump of a school?"

"Everything I need to prepare for my life," Nathan answered. "I've learned much more here than I've ever learned from you or Father. So don't embarrass me and leave. And apologize to Miss Swan."

"That won't be necessary," I said icily. "I know that her apology won't be sincere." I looked at Nathan. "After you remove your mother from the school, I suggest you return immediately to class, Mr. Carlson."

He nodded. "I'll do that. I'm sorry, Miss Swan."

With a curt nod, I turned to his mother. "Think about what I've said, madam. Goodbye." I turned and walked back the way I'd come from.

Behind me, I heard the repulsive woman bursting out, "What kind of bitch does she think she is? Is she richer than us?"

"She's richer than us in spirit, Mother," Nathan snapped. "Now leave."

**Edward's Point of View**

I nodded once at Emmett's secretary who smiled prettily at me. I let myself into my brother's extravagant office, where he was busy on the phone, talking in rapid French to one of his business allies in France.

He held up a hand in greeting as I approached his desk. I placed the documents I'd brought in front of him and leaned against the wood frame, my back to him, waiting for him to finish. I glanced around the room, bored, before I glanced behind me and saw another manila folder in the corner of the desk.

Not really having a thought in mind, I flipped the folder open and peeked at the documents. I caught the words _Dartmouth, Major: English Literature_ before Emmett slammed his hand down on the cover of the folder, successfully shielding the other contents from view.

I looked at him, startled. Emmett's eyes were wide, as though I'd almost caught him doing something wrong. He shook his head frantically, all the while spouting French into the telephone receiver.

I turned my body toward him fully, my face darkening and my arms crossing. He was hiding something from me.

Hastily, Emmett told his client that he would meet him at the airport tomorrow before saying goodbye. He slammed the receiver down in its cradle and eyed me sternly. "That's private, Mr. Cullen. Please do not touch any of my documents. You know how disorganized I am. Don't mess up my secretary's hard work of putting these things together."

I ignored him. "What is that?" I nodded at the manila folder. "Dartmouth. English Literature major."

His eyes widened. "How much did you see?"

"I noticed it was a copy of a profile from a résumé," I said. "But I couldn't see the name." I leaned toward him, my eyes narrowing. "Are you trying to hit on some rich girl, Em? Trying to ditch Rosalie, are we?"

"Nothing like that," he mumbled, looking relieved. "It's none of your business."

"Come on," I said, trying to grab the folder before he whipped it out of reach. "Let's have a look."

"It's nothing," he insisted. "They're just résumés of potential employees!"

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. He sucked at lying. "Since when did you interview potential employees personally?"

"Since now," he snapped. "Do you have the documents I asked for?"

I nodded toward the documents that I'd brought. "The trial is next Thursday. Make sure you're there, or you'll have to pay a few million as reparations. I don't know why you bothered to sue them when they're just a small ass company."

He looked through them, looking satisfied. "My dear brother, this is the key to becoming a great businessman. No mercy. That's how you succeed in life. You should know that word well, Attorney – I believe you abide by that rule too."

I looked at him, unamused. "Are you really going to keep secrets from me, Emmett?"

He scoffed. "You kept secrets from me too."

My expression hardened. "Why bring that up when it's been years?"

Emmett eyed me thoughtfully, then seemed to make a decision. He held up the manila folder. "Let's just say I'm looking for someone."

"Who? Someone you want to sue and make me stay up for another two nights?"

He rolled his eyes. "She doesn't do business or law. So just butt out."

"What does she do, then? Just a daughter of one of your business partners?"

"It's no one like that!" Emmett shoved the file into his drawer and locked it. "And if you say anything to Rosalie, I swear I'll punch you."

I raised my eyebrow. "I don't make a habit of butting into other people's businesses. That's Alice's job."

He waved me away. "Shoo. I've got a lot of work to do. And I'm sure you do too."

"Don't worry," I said, striding toward the door. "I have a lot of things to do even without you demanding documents for some puny lawsuit."

"Hey, when are you relocating to New York?" he called before I could leave.

I looked back. "None of your business, Mr. Cullen."

"It is too my business! I'm your employer!"

"You may have bought Cullen Law Firm," I said. "But it's still an independent business. I can always break that contract between our two companies, brother."

He sat, fuming in his seat. "Just let me know before you leave."

"You can find out through Alice." I slipped out the door before he could yell at me further.

"You should really stop ticking him off, Mr. Cullen," Emmett's secretary said reproachfully. "He's always taking it out on me."

I smiled ruefully. "Harassing Emmett and Alice is the only distraction I have, Miss Powell. My siblings are my medicine."

She inclined her head in confusion. "Medicine for what?"

I sighed and turned to leave. "My past."

* * *

><p>I had sent my secretary to New York ahead of time to settle our new branch. We had decided that a colleague of mine could manage the firm in California while I took over New York. I would be separated from my siblings for a few weeks before Emmett joined me in his new office of Cullen Corporation's new branch.<p>

As soon as I stepped foot inside our new building, my secretary, Lynn Tate, was already rattling off her report about the ongoing events. "A lot of cases have come in, but I think you should look at a specific one that came in today-"

"Lynn," I interrupted as we got into the elevator. "I just got here. I hardly slept in the plane because the man next to me snored very loudly. Take pity on me, will you?"

Lynn smiled slightly. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen."

"What's this about a specific case I need to look at?"

"It's very strange," Lynn replied. "Have you heard of Carlson Constructions, sir?"

"I work with Emmett Cullen. I believe Benjamin Carlson is one of my brother's biggest partners. Why?"

"Well, _Mrs._ Carlson wants to sue someone, and she's apparently heard a lot about you from your brother. She wants you to take the case."

I opened the door to my newly decorated office and walked over to my desk. I sat down on my revolving chair, glancing around indifferently. The design was simple and delicate. It would do.

I flicked a finger toward the file that she was holding. She held it out to me immediately, and I looked through it while she continued. "Mrs. Carlson would like you to call her as soon as possible. She claims it's a very important case, as it involves her son."

I looked up at her, startled. "Who's she suing, someone who hurt her son or something?"

Lynn bit her lip, as though she was trying to stop herself from cursing the woman. "She wants to sue her son's school."

I stared at her incredulously. "Why?"

"Apparently, her son had done nothing wrong, but the school's English teacher as well as disciplinarian had forced him to stay for four hours after school. For detention."

"Well, then, maybe her son did something wrong." I closed the file and tossed it toward her. "I can't take this case. It's stupid; I've got other important things to attend to."

"Er...you have to take this case. It seems Mrs. Carlson informed your brother about this, and Mr. Cullen insisted that you do all you can to win for her."

I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with my hands. "My dear, interfering brother." I sighed. "What to do?"

"Also...um...you're going to laugh when you hear this..." She peeked at me.

"Try me."

"The school that she's trying to sue has decided to fight back. They claimed that they haven't done anything wrong, and...um, they've asked you to represent them instead."

I sighed, annoyed. "Don't people usually get other lawyers for lawsuits? Why are they all trying to get me? Refuse both cases."

"Er...it's a five million dollar gamble. Your brother's current project with Benjamin Carlson depends on this. Do you really want to reject it?"

"Emmett..." I growled. I reached for the phone and dialed his direct number.

"Mr. Cullen's office, Leslie Powell speaking."

"Miss Powell," I snapped. "Put Emmett on the phone right now."

"Erm, Mr. Cullen is currently in a meeting-"

"Connect me. Now."

"He's asked me not to bother him while he's in a meeting-"

"NOW!"

There was a small beep as she transferred the call immediately. It was never a good idea to piss me off. Emmett picked up right away, sounding reproachful. "Just do it, Eddie. Five million dollars. Don't you want to make money?"

"I practice law because I want to," I hissed. "Cullen Corporations is your company, and I personally don't give a shit about what you're doing with your clients. But if you influence my law firm as well, you're asking for something that I can't work with. Get Carlson off my tail, Emmett. I can't take a case as stupid as this. I have better things to work on."

"I can't do that." He sounded weary. "Mrs. Carlson is such a bitch. You haven't met her yet. If you refuse it, she'll definitely tell her husband to call off the project, and we haven't signed the contract yet. So you _have_ to do this."

"Then make Benjamin Carlson sign the contract before I have to give an answer to the bitch. I don't like that you're influencing me to do these things, Emmett."

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll do what I can on this end, but can't you just look into it? Her son was apparently abused at his school. That's not right either."

"It may not be true."

"That's why I'm telling you to investigate. Lynn told me that the school is asking you to represent them too. You should look into both sides of the story."

I closed my eyes, then looked up at Lynn exasperatedly. She got the message and immediately walked out to fetch the files on the two cases.

"Okay, fine. Compromise."

"Compromise?" Emmett repeated apprehensively. "How?"

"Tell the bitch that since the school has asked me to represent them too, I'll have to look into both stories. It'll take some time to give her an answer, but tell her to be patient. Meanwhile, you work your ass off to get her husband to sign that five million dollar contract, you understand?"

I could almost hear him shaking his head. "You're incredible. Fine. By the way, I'll be joining you in New York next Wednesday. How's the building?"

"It's unnecessarily big."

"Courtesy of Cullen Constructions. Good luck, bro."

I hung up, irritated. "Idiot."

Lynn came back with the files. "Will you go talk to the school, Mr. Cullen?"

"Probably tomorrow," I said. "Leave my schedule empty from ten to noon. I'll have to go talk to the principal before I make my decision about who to stand with."

"Yes, sir. Would you like me to accompany you?"

I eyed the documents for a moment before deciding, "No. I'll go myself. It actually sounds pretty interesting."

* * *

><p>The principal of Angels High School hurried into the office a few minutes after I'd arrived, her hand covering her huge belly. She flashed me an apologetic smile.<p>

Raising my eyebrow, I offered her my hand and an amused smile. "Edward Cullen."

"Ah, yes," she said, shaking my hand heartily. "The lawyer. I'm Principal Wilson. Welcome to AHS."

"I'm sorry I came without prior warning," I said. "I simply wanted to look around the actual environment in which the students are in. We wouldn't want the teachers to abuse them or anything. I should've realized..." I gestured toward the busy administrators who were taking continuous phone calls from concerned parents. "They would be too busy to greet me."

"Of course not," Wilson said. "We're just a bit...preoccupied at the moment. And I'm sure you'll still be able to catch students and teachers in their normal daily lives. Your visit shouldn't affect anything here. We have a very strict and effective disciplinary system."

"I heard your strict disciplinary system was what caused you to be sued."

She looked rather affronted by that statement. She straightened as best as she could with her swollen belly. "I can assure you that we are not ashamed of our disciplinarian. She is a righteous woman with the right kind of goal in mind for all our students. Ever since she came here, our school has become extremely academic without any delinquents. We will defend her – she has done nothing wrong."

A woman? Interesting. Probably an old woman in her fifties or sixties with her tattooed eyebrows and eyeliner, walking around and forcing kids to behave.

"Well, I'm glad you're confident in defending yourself in the lawsuit," I commented briskly. "Please be aware that I am not here to agree to take your side in the case. Since both sides have come to me for help, I decided to investigate further before making my decision on whom to help. If you could cooperate while I do so, that would be most helpful."

Wilson immediately put on a pretty face at my politeness. "Of course, Mr. Cullen. I'm sure we can find someone to give you a tour around school. I would do it myself, except...well..." She gestured toward her belly. "As you can see, I'm really not supposed to be at school at the moment..."

I smiled slightly. "It was touching to see you running over at the news of my arrival."

She laughed uneasily. "Thank you. Well, then, have a look around. And we'll find someone for you...someone who can tell you some things about the case..."

She waddled over to an administrator and hissed, "Call the woman! Hasn't she heard about Mr. Cullen's visit yet?"

The administrator grimaced. "I called her a few minutes ago when he called to say that he was coming. She said she doesn't care."

"Get her down here now!"

"She can't come down. She has a class third period."

"Oh, that young thing..." Wilson groaned. "I can't curse her because she's so valuable to the school, but I sometimes want to wrangle her neck! Get someone else then!"

"I'm here," a woman said cheerfully. She was in her mid-forties, with bleached blonde hair and a decent sense of style. She studied me interestedly, as though she was impressed with what she saw.

"I called Dr. Tears when she yelled at me," the administrator whispered. "Is that okay?"

"I don't have a class third period, and our charming disciplinarian has informed me about the case," Dr. Tears said. "I'm a suitable candidate to show our young, handsome attorney around the school. What do you say, Holly?"

Holly Wilson made a face. "Well, I guess you're better than her for tours. She'll probably just snap at Mr. Cullen."

"Good." Dr. Tears turned to me and held out her hand. "I'm Christine Tears. AP Spanish teacher here at AHS. Pleasure to meet you."

"Edward Cullen," I responded, shaking her hand. "Likewise."

"I suggest you go see Nathan Carlson," Wilson said grudgingly. "He might know something, and he didn't seem to want to sue the school."

"Don't worry," Christine sang. "Come, Mr. Cullen. Off we go!"

Wilson nodded at me. "You're in good hands. Until we meet again, Mr. Cullen." She turned and waddled out.

I followed Christine through the hallways. She was a bright, cheerful woman who reminded me of Alice. She pointed out the different characteristics of the campus and introduced the separate buildings that held classrooms of the same subjects.

Finally, she led me into the math building and stopped at the second door. "Stay here, please." She knocked lightly before poking her head inside. "Hi, Randy. Can I borrow Mr. Carlson for a few minutes, please?"

"Off you go, Carlson," a man's voice barked out.

"Thanks, Randy," Christine said warmly. "Come on out, sweetheart."

A boy about seventeen shuffled out, looking nervous. "I didn't do anything."

Christine laughed. "Well, you've done a lot of things. But I guess that detention really turned you around, eh? Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

Nathan Carlson studied me curiously. "Who are you?"

"This is Mr. Edward Cullen," Christine introduced. "The school's potential lawyer. Mr. Cullen, this is Nathan Carlson."

Nathan's jaw dropped. "My mother sued the school, didn't she? That witch..."

"She sure did, buster," Christine said cheerfully. "Mr. Cullen's having a look around before he decides whether to take your mother's side or the school's side. Why don't you tell him what really happened?"

Nathan's eyes narrowed as he looked at me. "Listen, I'm not someone who does something just because some teacher tells me to. So just know that everything I say is the truth, and that none of the teachers made me say anything."

I smiled crookedly, amused. "Sure thing."

"I know I wasn't being fair when I teased Nancy for having less money than I did. I apologized to her, and she accepted it. I spent four hours cleaning the bathroom, but she didn't abandon me. She even got me a sandwich after detention." Nathan looked at Christine. "You know, she's really nice outside of school, even if she does still talk like she's made of ice."

Christine looked interested. "Really? _¡Interesante!_"

I was sure my confusion was reflected on my face. "Are we still talking about Nancy?"

"Ah, that would be our lovely disciplinarian and English teacher," Christine clarified. "She's well-known for her ability to sniff out trouble from a mile away. Nathan here has gotten into a few situations with her. He's a regular." She winked at him.

Nathan cleared his throat. "Anyway, she's done nothing wrong. So I hope you side with the school. My mother needs to get embarrassed." He turned to Christine. "Can I go now?"

She ruffled his hair affectionately. "Yes, go ahead. Good luck on that math test!"

"Thanks." He looked at me. "Bye." He trudged back inside.

"What do you think?" Christine asked, inclining her head.

"He doesn't seem to be lying," I said. "Not a lot of people would tell lawyers to go against their own parents."

Christine perked up. "So you'll choose us over Mrs. Carlson?"

"Give me some more time to think, Dr. Tears. I still need to hear both sides of the story." At that moment, my phone buzzed. "Excuse me. Hello?" I added.

"Edward?" Emmett asked, sounding anxious. "Where are you?"

"Why does it matter? You're not even in New York."

"As a matter of fact, I just arrived," he said. "Something came up, and I couldn't delay it. Where are you?"

"I'm looking into the Carlson case. I'm at her son's school."

I heard Emmett curse. "Angels High School?"

I raised my eyebrow. "Did Mrs. Carlson tell you that?"

"What?" He sounded taken aback. "Um, no. I was just..."

"Emmett?"

"I guess I was looking into stuff too," Emmett said hastily. My suspicions grew. "It's a five million dollar contract, bro. Wouldn't _you_ look it up too?"

"I don't know," I snapped, abruptly in a cranky mood. "I'm an attorney, not a businessman."

Christine looked at me strangely. Then, she smiled privately to herself, her eyes twinkling mischievously. I felt a familiar unease creeping up on me. Uh-oh. I knew exactly what was coming.

"Look, just do me a favor and get out of that school right now," Emmett pleaded. "Don't go there again until I've done some more research for you."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he said. "Just...just get out now. Meet with me. I'll be at your penthouse, so come straight there. Promise me."

He sounded desperate. Something in his voice made me hesitate. My brother was normally cheerful and optimistic. If he thought he needed to check out something before I could proceed, then it must be for a good reason. I trusted him.

"Alright, fine," I relented. "I'll see you in ten minutes."

"Thank you," he said, relieved. "Right away, Edward. I mean it." There was a click as he hung up.

Christine Tears pounced on me as soon as I hung up my phone, even before I could make my escape. "You're kind of cute. How about a cup of coffee after school today? I can tell you more about the Carlson case."

Shit. Danger zone. She was nearing her fifties, and I was barely thirty.

"No, thank you," I said as politely as I could. "I-"

"Oh, come on," she cooed, stepping toward me. "I'm divorced, but I don't have any baggage on me. And I'm quite pretty for my age, don't you think?"

A surge of anger soared through me, as it always did whenever women tried to throw themselves at me. Didn't it show on my face that I still had not moved on from the one woman I'd fallen in love with?

Abruptly cold and distant, I said curtly, "I'm not interested. Thank you for the tour. I will make sure to call and give at least a day's warning before I drop in again. Goodbye, Dr. Tears."

She pouted as I turned on my heels and walked away swiftly. "Dumped, were you?" she called.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my face blanking.

She strode over and studied my face. "I can tell," she said. "You're handsome and tall and intelligent, but if there's one thing wrong about you, it's that you can't get over your heartbreak. Your eyes are beautiful, Mr. Cullen, and you may be able to hide your pain through your killer smiles when you're talking to clients, but I can tell that you can't let go of her. Whoever she is, she must have been very important to you."

I was stunned. The pain that I'd tried so hard to suppress down for seven years was threatening to resurface. _Not here_, I begged myself. _Not in public. Now while there's a witness._ I could deal with the pain when I'm alone, but not now.

"Forget what I said earlier," Christine said, smiling ruefully. "I have no interest in trying to steal away a man who can't forget his past love. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or anything. No hard feelings?"

The bell rang loudly throughout campus, and students came rushing out from the buildings. Without answering, I continued on my way, ignoring the gawking and curious stares.

_You're handsome and tall and intelligent, but if there's one thing wrong about you, it's that you can't get over your heartbreak. _

How could she tell? I had worked so hard to put it behind and made sure my career came first. Brooding came later. How in the world had she known?

_I can tell that you can't let go of her. Whoever she is, she must have been very important to you._

Yes, she was important. Even after seven years, even after no contact, I still missed her. I still loved her. I didn't even know how beautiful she should be right now, and I still loved her.

I was startled when two senior boys ran in front of me, cutting me off. They were laughing as they bumped their fists together. They whooped loudly, hollering, "Come get us, sexy!"

I frowned after them, confused. I made to walk again when, this time, a young woman walked briskly in front of me. She had a steady, quick pace, and her dangerous heels clacked loudly on the concrete as she strode calmly after the unruly boys. She carried some papers in her left arm while she held what looked like a conductor's stick in her right. She tapped it rhythmically against her shoulder, giving off a strict impression.

I stared after her. She did look familiar, but I couldn't place where I'd seen her before. Had the boys been calling _her_ sexy? She was obviously a teacher here. If she was chasing after troublemakers, would that make her the disciplinarian?

I pondered whether or not to go stop her to ask her a few questions about the case. Then, I decided against it. Emmett had asked me to leave the school immediately, and I wanted to hear his excuses. He was doing this for a reason.

I started walking again. When I reached the stairs that led to the front of the school, I heard the boys whistle loudly again. "Come on, sexy! I want detention with you!"

I looked back curiously. The woman had somehow caught up to the boys in her dangerous heels and was now twirling her stick like a baton. They flinched when she poked it at their chests. They looked guilty now.

I was impressed at her skills. If Nathan Carlson and the rest of the entire male students at Angels High School showed remorse for their wrongdoings in this woman's presence, then surely, there couldn't be anything abusive going on here. She may be poking their chests with a thin bamboo stick, but that was harmless compared to gambling millions of dollars on a hopeless lawsuit.

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><p>I raised my eyebrow at my brother, incredulous. "You want me to do what?"<p>

Emmett sighed and leaned back on his armchair. "I want you to take the school's side."

"You're not making sense, Emmett," I said disbelievingly. "How many times have you said the words 'five million dollar contract' in the last twenty-four hours?"

He looked completely serious as he replied, "It's a price I'm willing to take."

My eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"Listen," Emmett said. "I don't want to get her in trouble. She's worked hard, and I don't want this lawsuit to mess her up." He sighed. "She's already had enough pain as it is."

"Who are you talking about?"

"No one. Just take the school's side, alright? Whether Benjamin Carlson wants to sign the contract or not is his choice. Choose AHS, but don't go there until I tell you that you can."

I stared at him. I couldn't figure him out. "What do you really want from me, Emmett? Why are you doing this?"

All traces of teasing or joking were gone. He was absolutely serious. "I want you to take the side of Angels High School. All I'm asking is that you take your hands off the case until I say it's okay. I need to meet someone before you do anything."

I began shaking my head. "Emmett-"

"Please, Edward," he said. "Trust me. It's for your own good. I can't watch you lose yourself again."

"What?"

"You'll do as big brother says, right?" Emmett grinned, then got up. "Thanks, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Emmett, if you leave here without clarifying anything-"

"It'll all make sense soon," he promised. He held up a hand in goodbye. "I swear. Sleep tight, bro. Love you."

I frowned, bemused. What was wrong with everyone today? Surely, Annoy-the-Hell-Out-of-Edward Day was not a national holiday. Then why did my life suck today, tomorrow, yesterday, and every other day of my life?

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><p><strong>AN: There! Extra-long chapter for you to enjoy for Thanksgiving. Thanks for all your support, everyone! Please continue to do so, or there's never a guarantee I might finish my stories! Review!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13: Choices

**Author's Note: It's the last night before I have to go back to school. So I'm updating again. Also, I've posted a little one-shot that I wanted to share with you. Hope you can check that out as well! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

The last week of school came sauntering by, and the students immersed themselves into preparing for finals. A few years ago, they wouldn't have cared whether they'd passed or failed a class. Now, with Isabella Swan in charge, they cared.

On the last day of school, I administered two tests for my third and fifth periods. I was just passing out the exams for the sixth period when the telephone rang shrilly, making the students look at me anxiously. They knew I hated it when people called me during class.

I ignored it and did my thing, passing a test out to each student. The ringing stopped after a while. "Alright, get to work. Remember, if I see you cheating, I'll make sure you fail my class with a big, fat F on your high school record, and we'll see if you'll be going to that Ivy League you've been aiming for. Good luck."

The students' heads bowed over their tests simultaneously, determined to ace the test. I knew I wouldn't have any problems with cheating in my class. I'd made sure that all of them knew the consequences on my very first week of teaching at Angels High School.

To my annoyance, the telephone rang again. Several students looked up, distracted. I strode briskly over to the telephone and grabbed the receiver. The students went back to work. "Swan."

"We need you to come up to the office right away, Miss Swan," the administrator whispered. "You have a guest."

"_I_ need you to stop calling me and telling me to do stupid things while my class is in session, Margaret," I retorted quietly. "I'm administering my students' last final. Tell that guest of mine to leave or wait until school ends."

"I can't do that!" she hissed. "He's an important person!"

"Everyone's parents are important at this school," I said, rolling my eyes.

"He's not a parent," she said flatly. "And he's insisting that he see you right away. He says it's urgent."

"Urgent, my ass," I muttered. "I am not leaving here."

"Now, Miss Swan," Margaret said. "I already sent down Mr. Brown to administer your sixth period's exam."

I raised my eyebrow, intrigued. "Mr. Brown, eh?"

At his name, the students all looked up, looking horrified. Everyone in the school knew that Henry Brown was just as picky and strict as I was. He was probably the most feared teacher after me. It was no mystery how he and I got along well.

"Well, then, I guess I can come up," I said, and the students sighed in disappointment. Between Brown and me, they would prefer the pretty, young woman instead.

Right on cue, there was a soft knock, and Henry Brown poked his head in. He was a seventy-year old man with a million wrinkles on his face. His hair was as white as snow, and he spoke with a slight Southern accent. "Miss Swan."

"I'll be there in three minutes," I told Margaret before hanging up. "Come on in, Henry. Thank you so much for doing this."

"It's no problem," he said in his gruff voice. He peered around suspiciously at the nervous students. "Go ahead and do your business. And don't worry about your students." He leered at them with a rather sinister smile on his lips. "They're in good hands."

I smirked. "No doubt. Behave, all of you."

I turned and walked out of my room, heading straight for the office. Guest? A man? I didn't know any man who could be looking for me, unless it was Ben Cheney. It seemed highly unlikely, however, since he was supposed to be in Washington, with Angela. Was it perhaps an emergency?

I opened the door and strode inside the office casually. "This had better be good, Margaret."

Margaret pointed her pencil toward the front door silently. I glanced over...and saw none other than Emmett Cullen standing there, tall, handsome, and huge, looking distinguished in his black business suit.

I froze, shocked. How had he found me? He had deliberately come to see me. Did everyone else know too? Why was the past I'd tried so hard to bury resurfacing again?

Emmett looked shocked to see me too, despite the fact that it had been he who had asked to see me. For the longest of moments, we stared at each other in complete shock, taking in the other.

I'd almost forgotten how huge he'd been. He seemed to have grown a few more inches after I'd left. He looked more mature now, but I could tell immediately that he had not given up on his practical jokes. Seeing him felt strange, as though I was experiencing nostalgia, but also suffering from an old wound at the same time. I'd missed him, but I had also never wanted to see him again.

"Bella..." Emmett whispered, as though he could hardly believe that it was really me standing in front of him. "Bella..."

Immediately, my face hardened. Striding forward, I brushed past him and pushed open the exit door. The message was clear: _Not here._

Silently, he followed me out to the front of the campus, where we stood on the green lawn, facing each other. He stared at me intently, as though he was comparing my old face to my matured one.

I couldn't think of anything to say. This was a situation I hadn't expected – I had fully been looking forward to a Cullen-free life from the moment I'd left Forks. What was I supposed to say? What did he _expect_ me to say? What did he want now? After so many years, why now? _Why?_

Emmett broke the silence. "It's been a long time." His voice was quiet, laced with sadness.

I couldn't look at him. I glared right past him, at a huge tree. I didn't respond.

"You..." He struggled to choose the right words. "You've gotten more beautiful. I recognized you immediately."

Still no response. His face contorted with pain. "Look, Bella, I understand that you may not have wanted to see me. Or any of us, for that matter. But I just couldn't resist-"

"How did you find me?" I interrupted curtly.

He hesitated. "We wanted to find you for a long time, but Carlisle and Esme wouldn't let us. They said that you needed space, that you left us for a reason."

"But?"

"But I was frustrated. So after Cullen Corporations got settled, I started to use my influence to look for you. But you'd hidden so well, it took me a while. You showed up on your own, as a matter of fact."

I looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

He nodded at the school. "I'd just found out a few background information about you when Heidi Carlson sued Angels High School. I realized that it was the same school you were working at. I couldn't resist coming over to see you."

It took me a while to understand what he was saying. Or maybe it was my brain simply refusing to click the pieces of the puzzle together. I finally realized what he was saying. Slowly, dread filled me. "How do you know Heidi Carlson sued the school?"

Emmett stared at me, biting his lip. He was obviously wondering what to tell me. "Um..."

"Tell me!"

"Edward," he said hesitantly. "He, uh, he was approached by both the school and Mrs. Carlson to take their sides."

It was like lightning had struck. Without considering why I should be doing it at all, I started panicking. I wasn't ready to see Edward again. I had left him for a reason. I _didn't_ want to see him. He was the epitome of old and bad memories of the past that I wanted to erase.

"Does he know?" I whispered, my eyes filling with angry and fearful tears. "Does he know I'm here?"

"No," Emmett answered quickly. "He was here to ask Carlson's son some questions, but I don't think he saw you."

We had been close. We had been walking around the same campus. We could've nearly bumped into each other. What if we had? How would I have reacted then? Coming face to face with a past I was willing to forget without any preparation whatsoever? This was a nightmare.

I swallowed hard. "Why did you come here, Emmett?"

"I had to know how you were," he said. "You just left so suddenly without saying goodbye. It worried all of us. I was curious."

I didn't speak. There was one question I was dying to ask, but I was afraid of the answer.

Emmett spoke as though he had read my mind. "Don't worry," he said softly. "He doesn't know I'm here. I asked him to defend the school, but to not touch the case until I said it was okay." He paused. "I didn't want him freaking out again."

I looked up at him blankly. "What do you mean?"

"He didn't handle your absence very well," Emmett said uncomfortably. "Whenever someone mentioned you, he would go insane with anger and frustration. He only put himself together when he started his own law firm. I still don't think he's handling it very well, but he's gotten better at not showing it when people are around. He likes suffering alone, as always."

I scoffed, incredulous. "Don't tell me he didn't move on from a simple childhood crush. That's ridiculous."

Emmett was serious as he answered my question evenly. "Were _you_ able to move on from him?"

I couldn't respond immediately to that. Even I didn't know the answer. I had simply refused to think about it for the past seven years.

"I just wanted to see you before he could," he said, rather mournfully. "Just to make sure that it really was you and not some other girl. I didn't want to get his hopes up."

"Hopes up?" I snapped. "Do me a favor and tell him to refuse the school. We don't need his help."

"Well, basically, you're the one who's getting sued-"

"I don't care. I would rather lose money than see him again and be reminded of the past."

Emmett blinked. "But, Bella-"

"I've tried so hard to forget that life, Emmett," I said sharply. "And I'm not going back. I'm happy with my life right now, and I don't want him or you or any of your family members tampering with that. So just pretend you didn't see me and leave me alone. I'm begging you." I turned to leave.

"I can't do that."

I stopped short, my hands curling up into fists. I whirled back around to glower at him.

He looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't do that. I've watched my brother hit the bottom before he could start for the top again. It was painful for all of us, and I can't see that happening again. And the way he is now, it's clear he would never be happy without you. You were his everything."

My eyes flashed. "Emmett Cullen-"

"I'm going to give your information to him, Bella. And I want you to know that I care about both of you. But once that folder leaves my hands, I won't care what he does with it. It'll be entirely his choice if he decides to make you come back to him, or decides to let you go altogether."

"Emmett!"

"I'm sorry, Bella," Emmett said. "But that's my decision. I need to see him getting better."

"And me?" I asked, tears glistening in my eyes. "How will I cope? The truth nearly killed me. I left so that I wouldn't be reminded of any of it. How will I live if he comes back into my life?"

He just gazed at me. "I'm sorry."

I just felt helpless. I knew he was not bluffing. I wanted to just sit down on the ground and cry my heart out. He was forcing me to go back to a life I was not fond of. I didn't want to be reminded. I didn't want to see Edward, no matter how much I'd missed him. I liked being alone. I liked my new life. I didn't want to be dark anymore; I didn't want to hit the bottom.

I didn't want to go through hell again.

**Edward's Point of View**

I let Emmett into the house. "Do you realize what time it is, Emmett? It's nearly eleven. Why aren't you going home?"

He tripped lightly on the living room rug and crashed down on the sofa. He gazed up at the ceiling, lugubrious.

I frowned as I sat down in front of him. "Did you drink?"

He looked at me, then held up his hand. He pinched the air with his forefinger and thumb. "_Un poco_."

"Well, I'll believe you, since you don't seem drunk."

He sighed as he sat up. "Life is so unfair, man. I feel so bad for you."

"Are you on drugs?"

He gave me a sharp look. "I don't even like taking aspirins, idiot."

"Then why are you being so sentimental?" My face darkened. "If you're here to talk about her, then just leave."

"I know what thinking about her does to you, Edward. That's why I'm here." He pulled out the folder he'd snatched away from me the other day and handed it to me. "If this becomes your reason for living, then live."

I took it slowly. I opened the flap and received a jolt of shock when a familiar face stared back at me. I stared at her picture for a long time, stunned. Emmett had been looking for _her_?

My eyes scanned the information quickly. She was a Dartmouth graduate, having majored in English Literature. She was working at...Angels High School? I looked up at my brother in shock.

He sighed. "I went to go see her today. And let me tell you – she was not happy to see me."

"I was at the school," I said blankly. "I was in the same place as she was."

"It's a big school. You probably missed each other. Bella's the disciplinarian. She's the one getting sued."

Another jolt of shock. "She's the disciplinarian?"

I'd seen her. I'd seen her walking past me, and I'd seen her holding a stick. She had been the woman who had gone after those two boys.

Emmett studied me. "You weren't living. You were smiling, but you weren't happy. You were pretending, but I could always see through you. If Bella really is your everything, go get her back."

I stared at him, numb.

"Carlisle and Esme denied our requests to look for her," he said. "They were rich enough – influential enough – but they always said that she needed space. But _I_ couldn't stand that, Edward. I couldn't watch our family falling apart, and I hated watching you sink lower and lower.

"So I used _my_ influence to find her. Once I became financially secure, I used my own people to look for her." His lips turned down. "I just didn't want you to see her unexpectedly. I didn't know what you would do. That's why I asked you not to go to the school until I told you it was okay. I was afraid that you would see her without preparing yourself."

"Does she know?"

He knew instantly what I meant. "Yes, she knows. She was very upset with me. I told her that I was giving you the folder, and she practically screamed at me. But at this moment, I don't care. You may have gotten better since you were a teen, but you're still not healed. I'm giving you the folder so that you could make the decision for yourself. You can choose to take the chance to love her freely without having to worry about it being incest and be happier. Or you can choose to let her go and be happier. Either way, your goal is to become happy. That's all I care about, Edward." He looked serious. "Really."

Emmett. My elder brother. He was an idiot and too friendly for my liking, but his concern for me was always touching. He'd looked out for me since Bella had left. He and Alice had been my walls, my crutches. And now, he was giving me the options to save myself. Did I deserve such a wonderful person in my life?

I laid the folder down in front of me, on the coffee table. I leaned back and closed my eyes, sighing deeply. "How was she?"

"Oh, beautiful," Emmett answered mildly. "She's matured beautifully."

"What about her eyes?" I murmured. "I've always loved her eyes."

I must have sounded like a sentimental idiot, but Emmett humored me. He closed his eyes to my childlike vulnerability. "Same shade of brown. She looks so sad, though. She was trying to hide it with a cold mask. She was pretending too, Edward, but I could see that only her name had changed."

"Isabella Marie Swan," I whispered. It truly did suit her. I recalled Nathan Carlson's words about her being nice outside of school. I believed that.

"Just a warning, though," Emmett said softly. "She won't be happy to see you. Just know that."

"I still love her," I said, my voice barely audible. It was a statement that surprised even me. I had tried to shy away from the truth for seven years, as it was too painful for me to remember. It still hurt to finally acknowledge it, but I couldn't hide it any longer. I didn't think I was successful in hiding it anyway.

"I know," Emmett replied. "You've suffered a lot, Edward. I gave you the choices. Choose wisely."

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><p><strong>AN: What a grand present Emmett is giving to his brother! Don't you think so? Review!<strong>


	14. Chapter 14: Fear

**Author's Note: It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you all enjoyed my little one-shot, **_**Password**_**! If you haven't read it yet, please do check it out. It's a sweet little fluff I wrote, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Just to bring a smile to your day. ;) Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

**Bella's Point of View**

I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned. Finally, I sat up, feeling frustrated and stuffy. I couldn't stop thinking about Emmett's visit earlier today. Was he really going to tell Edward where I was? Was he really going to intentionally reintroduce him back into my life, even though he knew what I'd gone through?

I still couldn't accept the fact that I had fallen in love with someone who could've been my brother. If only Carlisle and Esme had signed those papers, we would've been entangled in a forbidden love. At eighteen, the truth had been shocking, and their negligent decision to not adopt me had been hurtful. Now, at twenty-five, I was glad. I was happy with my life. I had moved on.

Angela's voice came echoing in my head. I had told her that I was happy and that I'd moved on when I'd graduated from Dartmouth. We had video chatted on the computer, and she had looked rather serious when she'd replied, "Are you really?"

Her tone had made me question myself again. I hadn't liked that. I'd immediately defended myself; how could she doubt me? Didn't she know that I was a confident person, one who knew myself extremely well?

And yet, I'd found myself doubting myself ever since.

Had leaving the Cullens truly been the right choice? Had I been happy away from Edward? I had been there for him since childhood, but I had constantly loathed his dark nature and selfish possessiveness. I had hated it so much...but had I truly found happiness away from the pressure that I'd always felt by being his crutches?

I didn't know the answer. I'd thought I'd be happy once I'd escaped from that life. The life full of lies and betrayals. The life full of cruel love and hell. I had hit the bottom that night I'd spent with Edward. Those two hours had allowed me to set foot within the darkest pits of hell, the place where he himself visited every single day. Even after all these years, I still didn't know how he'd endured that and still managed to remain sane.

I was starting to question everything. My entire life, even the life before the age of eighteen. I'd always had faith in myself, believing that I was always doing the right thing. But had I really been?

Emmett's words echoed in my head. He was going to tell Edward. I'd recognized the expression on his face – he had been completely serious, something unusual for Emmett Cullen. If he was that serious, he wasn't bluffing. Edward was going to come looking for me very soon. And he wasn't going to be very happy with me.

_If Emmett looked into my life since I left them, he probably knows more about me than I do._

Just thinking about it made me furious with myself. Seven years of careful precautions had ultimately been no match for the Cullens' money and influence.

I made my way to the medicine cabinet and swallowed two sleeping pills. I always had trouble sleeping since seven years ago, but it hadn't been this bad in a while. I hadn't resorted to the pills since I'd gotten settled at Angels High School. Yes, Emmett's little visit was bothering me very much.

I needed to sleep. I constantly felt the need to sleep, even if I wasn't tired. I simply needed to close my eyes to escape reality, no matter how horrible my dreams may be. I needed to escape my thoughts.

**Edward's Point of View**

I stared at her address, which was printed neatly below her name. Her piercing brown eyes seemed to gaze sharply at me, as though she was reprimanding me: _Why should you have to think? Don't come. I left you so that I could escape you. So that I could move on. Don't come..._

I closed my eyes and shoved the folder away from me, rubbing my face with my hand. Making the decision was harder than I'd thought.

For years, I'd imagined a day like this. I had vowed to become successful so that I could use my influence to find her. But as the years went by, I'd lost the confidence to do so, knowing full well why she had left me in the first place. She didn't want me. She didn't want to love me. Seeing me brought back bad memories. And I had simply let it alone.

Emmett had had the strength to do the deed I hadn't been able to do. He had used his own power to find her, and he had given me the choices that I'd so wanted. I wanted to run to her. I wanted to hug her and kiss her. I wanted to tell her that I still loved her.

She belonged to me, didn't she? For years, we had been inseparable. We were fated. We were destined. We had even shared that night together, the night that I could never forget in a million years. I missed her touch, her soothing voice.

Then why should I hesitate?

It was simple. What if she yelled at me? What if she told me to go away? Despite always having been a generally dark person, I knew that I had always given into whatever Bella had wanted. I would comply if she told me to go away. I would obey if she ordered for me to never show my face again.

But I couldn't. I would do whatever she told me to do, but eventually, I would go crawling back to her. I couldn't separate myself from her. Even while we were physically separated, my heart was still with her. Unknowingly, she had taken it with her.

I couldn't decide. I wanted her. I loved her. But she didn't want me. She hadn't loved me enough to stay with me.

**Bella's Point of View**

My eyes opened slowly, feeling weary. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. I had slept for a good twelve hours, but I felt as exhausted as though I'd run a marathon.

I sat up, grimacing. I never liked resorting to drugs to make my body feel better, even aspirins to reduce a headache. I didn't like that I wasn't in control of my own body, and that I wasn't healthy enough to be fine without medication.

I took a shower and came out, feeling slow. Summer vacation was back, and I was sure the students would be rejoicing, but I hated it. Vacations meant no work every day for two months. It meant that I would be sitting around the house, alone, watching TV without much thought and feeling bored. I hated shopping, and I hadn't bothered to make friends in New York. Basically, I was always alone.

I entered the kitchen, noticing the silence of the unnecessarily large house. It was big enough to shelter a family of four. Why had I bothered to buy such an extravagant place? I could live in a one-room studio, for all I cared.

I stared at my empty refrigerator for a long moment. I had loved cooking with Esme, but now, I hardly did it. It was boring without a challenge, especially without someone to taste my food and compliment me. I only ate when I felt hungry and hardly had any food in the house.

Sighing, I closed the refrigerator and headed for the cupboard instead, resigning myself to grainy cereal and a visit to the grocery store at nine in the morning. Anyone who visited my house would think that no one lived here.

I blanked out on my way to the store. I was trying not to think about yesterday's events and possible future situations. I felt stressed when I worried about it, and so I simply concentrated on driving.

I went around the chilly store, picking up several items. When I laid them on the checkout counter, the cashier looked at me strangely. "Is this all you're getting, miss?"

I looked at my merchandise. "Yes."

The old man shook his head as he began scanning. "You must live alone. And even then, you probably don't eat much, huh?"

It was then that I noticed that I'd bought one of everything: one quart of milk, one small pint of ice cream, one carrot, one squash, one cucumber. One of everything. I had to chuckle slightly at the pathetic sight.

"You're right," I said ruefully, taking out my credit card. "I don't like eating alone."

"No one likes eating alone," he said kindly, accepting the card. "You should go out and snag a tall, handsome guy. A beautiful girl like you shouldn't be alone. It'll lead to all sorts of trouble." He winked.

I smiled minutely and lifted the plastic bag off the counter. I took back my card and receipt. "Thank you."

"Have a good one."

I headed back to my car and loaded the groceries in the trunk. Beside me, a familiar woman around her thirties struggled to load her groceries and to calm her twin boys at the same time. They were both crying their hearts out, blubbering about some kind of candy they'd wanted to buy.

Uncomfortably, I tried to ignore their cries. How long had it been since I'd been near children? I used to love children, having even babysat for my neighbors back in Forks. I had kept my distance ever since I'd changed my name and separated myself from the family that had raised me. I'd felt that I'd become too dark and impossible to bring out of my shell to expose myself to playful, innocent children.

Glancing quickly at the woman once more, I realized that she was my neighbor. I'd always seen her struggling with her two boys every morning on the way to daycare, always donning a purple nurse uniform. I'd always wondered what her husband was doing, if not lending a hand for the hardworking woman.

One of the boys made his way out of the shopping cart and attempted to move back to the store. His mother, busy with his brother, glanced at him desperately, obviously wondering how to get him back to his place without letting go of his twin.

I hesitated. When a car rounded the corner and headed for the waddling twin, I instinctively hurried toward him and scooped him up before the car could run him over. The driver stopped dead, honking. He lowered his window and yelled, "Watch it, missy!"

I gave him my best glare. He immediately backed down, intimidated, and drove away.

I froze, realizing what was happening. I was holding this boy in my arms. I was staring at him blankly with the eyes that had raked over _him_. My impurity... What if it tainted him?

The boy stared at me, wide-eyed, then burst into fresh tears. I blinked rapidly, my head going white. How had I calmed down those kids when I'd been eighteen?

"Oh, thank you so much!" the woman said, hurrying toward me. She had placed her other son in his car seat. She held her arms out, but the boy in my arms turned away from her, burying his face in my shoulder. I felt his wet tears seep into my shirt.

I didn't move, not knowing what to do. I had never felt so awkward around a child before. It was a very strange feeling.

"Oh, dear," the woman said, biting her lip. "I'm so sorry. They haven't had their nap yet, and..."

Swallowing, I said, "It's alright."

She cracked a smile. "You're not used to kids, are you?"

I just looked at her.

"I can tell," she said. "The way you tense up. Do you not have any siblings?"

I looked away awkwardly. When the boy cried harder, I lifted my hand hesitantly to pat him on his back. "I used to."

She cocked her head, confused. "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath slowly, then let it out. "They're not my siblings anymore."

She studied me intently. Finally, she said, "You're my neighbor, aren't you? I've seen you go to work every morning."

I nodded once. "Same here."

She had a very nice smile. Her eyes were wide and open. She held out her hand. "Carol Martin."

I took it reluctantly. "Bella Swan."

"What a beautiful name," she commented.

I glanced at the boy in my arms. He had finally quieted and was resting his head on my shoulder. I couldn't see his face, but Carol looked pleased. "He must be at ease with you. He's almost asleep. Do you mind putting him inside?"

Silently, I walked over to the other side of her car and carefully placed him inside. His head drooped as I buckled him in. I closed the door and turned to face Carol.

"Thanks so much, Bella," she said. "I really appreciate it. And you should come over sometime. I think Jack really likes you."

Come over? I glanced at the sleeping boy through the tinted window. How could I turn her down politely?

As though she had read my mind, Carol said wisely, "You don't like company, do you?"

I looked into her blue eyes. She looked as though she was aging one year every day, taking care of the twins. What did she know about me?

"You're not very social," she noted. "I've hardly heard the neighbors talking about you." Then, she shrugged. "That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure you have your reasons. I'll see you around, Bella. Thank you for your help."

I nodded once more before heading for my own car. I watched her drive away, her expression light and happy. How did she manage to remain so cheerful when her husband was so oblivious to her troubles?

* * *

><p>When I got home, I put away the groceries and plopped down on the living room sofa. I turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels quickly. I glanced at the clock, which read one-thirty. I looked back at the TV again. After what seemed like three hours, I looked back at the clock. Only a good five minutes had passed.<p>

Groaning, I laid back on the couch, aggravated. This was the problem with vacations. I didn't want a vacation. I wanted to work.

I settled for the news and watched blankly, not listening to a word the reporter was saying. My thoughts turned to Carol Martin. I could hear her boys screaming again across the street, crying for food. She lived such a hard life, but she had such a different attitude than I did.

I drowned in my own misery. I allowed myself to stay alone and shunned anyone who wanted to get close to me. But Carol seemed to enjoy life. Even as her expression betrayed her weariness, she never seemed to yell at her sons. What did she find in life that was so joyful when her life was obviously a hundred times more miserable than mine was?

I envied people like her. I had escaped my past and was living alone, trying to forget. Instead, I continued to wallow in old pain and agony. But Carol moved on with her life. I wondered if her husband was a workaholic, or perhaps addicted to drugs or alcohol. He didn't seem to care about his family. I'd never seen him around.

If that had been my life, what would I do? If I was stuck with twin boys with a husband who didn't help me care for them, what would I do?

_Ding dong!_

The doorbell interrupted my reverie, and I sat up, feeling confused. I realized I had been dozing off lightly. The TV was on commercial.

I sighed and heaved myself off the couch, preparing myself to shoo away salesmen and recruiters from the local church. I opened the door wearily. I did not expect to find a tall, handsome man staring at me with his familiar green eyes.

I stared back at him, shocked. Emmett had really given him my information. He was really here. He was here.

He looked so handsome that my head began to spin. He had grown a few more inches since I'd last seen him. His bronze hair was as messy as always, and his green eyes smoldered. He looked more manly, more muscular. He wore a distinguished business suit, with the little Attorney's Badge on his left lapel. He really did look like a lawyer.

His professionalism was lost, however, due to his expression. His face was all wrong. It held all the emotions that a lawyer should never betray – hurt, pain, and anger altogether. Standing there in front of him, I wished I could grow smaller so that he could no longer see me. I was nothing compared to how big he had become – not just literally, but also figuratively.

For a long moment, we did not say anything. All I could do was stare at him. Take him in, and just feel my heart sink down to my stomach. I really had been away for too long. If I had stayed, I would've seen him graduate from Harvard. I would've heard about his first court case from him personally. I would've been the first to congratulate him for succeeding. Carlisle and Esme must be so proud.

What had I become, in comparison? I led a modest life – I had inherited a considerable amount of money, taken control over my late parents' buildings, and earned quite a large sum from teaching those rich kids at the high school. I dressed in business suits, certainly, but all I ever did was wave around a disciplinary stick and demand mature behavior from my students while he went out and fought against injustice. I was puny in comparison.

Would he judge me for living like this? Would he scoff and laugh? Would he ask if I had left him and his family to live like this, so pathetically? Even in my eyes, I was pathetic.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I had the right to be angry with him for coming. How upset he must have been when he'd found out that I'd left without saying goodbye! Was he here to scream at me? Had he accepted Emmett's information about me and had come to scold me for thinking I can escape my past? What if I got caught? What if it was obvious that I hadn't forgotten about him, about his family? How could I escape this situation?

He broke the silence first. "Bella."

His voice, his soft, velvety voice. It washed over me like a caress. It was like no time had passed at all.

How could this be? Could I truly not escape from him? My heart felt like it was breaking to pieces, just seeing him like this after so many years. I had turned my back on him. I had forced myself not to remember what his presence was like to me. I hadn't been breathing in years. And now, just seeing him, I felt my body droop in resignation. I _had_ missed him. I _wasn't_ happy. I'd just been fooling myself for years.

Tears crept into my eyes but did not fall. No, I wasn't going to cry. Stop crying, Bella. Stop being weak. Where's the strong, independent woman you've become?

He spoke my name again, softer this time, as though he could not believe I was really standing in front of him. "Bella."

My heart was beating so quickly that it was sure to fly away. I was suddenly irrationally angry at him, at Emmett, at the world. I had no right to be angry, but I was. I had spent so many years trying to run away from my past, only to find out that it was impossible. He was never going to let me go, was he? I was always going to be stuck to him, no matter how much I tried.

My voice was curt and flat. "Emmett really told you."

A hundred things flashed in his eyes at my words. Hurt, disbelief, anger, frustration, confusion...all at different times.

"You shouldn't have come," I said quietly. "You knew what I was trying to escape from, and you still came."

He stared at me, looking like a lost puppy. He looked at a loss. I knew: He had decided to come, but he hadn't thought it through carefully. He hadn't figured out what to do after he'd met me.

I waited for him to speak. Finally, he spoke slowly, sounding weary. "I wasn't going to. I knew you didn't want to see me."

He had no idea how much I'd wanted to see him. "But?"

He swallowed. "I missed you."

I held my breath carefully, trying not to break down. He was not going to undo me with those words. If I broke down crying because of those three simple words, I would kill myself. It was not going to happen.

"I've lived without you for so long, Bella," he said quietly. "It hurts, all the time. I had to see you."

When I didn't respond, he went on. "I had to see if you were okay. If you were happy." His eyes flashed, and for a moment, I saw the old Edward. The dark and self-hating Edward Cullen. "If you were happy without me."

I felt a chill go down my spine. I looked at him directly in the eye, despite my rising fear. "I'm not happy. My past is always haunting me. How can I be happy? I'm simply living because I have to."

His fists balled up. The haunted look in his eyes was back. The hardened expression, the dark shadow across his face. They were never gone. It would always be a part of him.

"You left," he said in a low voice, almost menacingly. "You left without saying goodbye."

"Yes," I stated. "I had to."

"Why?"

"Because I had to live. I couldn't stay in that house anymore, feeling like a total outsider. I was a stranger in your family, Edward."

"You were a part of us," he whispered. "A part of me."

"That changed when I suddenly had different parents."

His jaw clenched. "We could've had a different life. Carlisle and Esme told us the truth so that we wouldn't have to feel so guilty anymore. You know that."

I gave him a bitter smile. "I suppose I could've chosen you. But my choice was to get away, because I couldn't bear it. Would you have been able to handle the betrayal so well, Edward?"

He didn't reply. His eyes narrowed. He didn't want to let me win. He wanted me to admit that I was wrong to leave him. But I wasn't wrong. I wasn't right either. I had simply made a choice and I'd lived that life. What was so bad about it?

"You're just unhappy because I made a choice that you can't understand," I said. "I'm sorry for leaving all of you without a proper goodbye, but I made a choice. I chose to leave. It's my life. I don't particularly regret it."

He laughed breathlessly, humorlessly. "You're so stubborn. I can see that you don't like the life you've chosen, Bella. Are you trying to fool me? I know you better than you know yourself."

"Things change."

"Yes, but people don't." I could see the hatred in his eyes now. Hatred for me. "You and I won't change, Bella. You've only delayed the situation seven years. Did you really think you can escape _me_?"

My calm demeanor faltered slightly. "I can't go back to what I was before, Edward. If I love you like I did when I was eighteen...I'll destroy myself. I can't do that."

"My feelings for you haven't changed," Edward said harshly. "And you can't force yourself to stop either. There was something about that night. It convinced me that you felt the same way I did."

"Don't," I ordered jerkily, closing my eyes. My entire body had stiffened. "Don't talk about that night."

From behind him, I heard one of Carol's sons yell out happily as he held up a ball. The three of them were out in their front yard, sitting on the grass. I saw Carol eye Edward's Mercedes confusedly, then at his tall figure. She didn't strike me as a gossip, but I knew that there were other eyes watching. What would they say if they saw a tall, handsome man talking to Bella Swan, who never had visitors?

I opened my eyes and looked past Edward, at Carol. Our eyes met. To my relief, her face held nothing but concern for me. Still, I wanted to keep my affairs private.

I stepped aside reluctantly. "Come in. I don't want people watching."

Edward looked _very_ unhappy. Still, he stepped inside and watched as I closed the door and locked it.

Suddenly, I found myself crushed against his hard, muscular chest. He smelled exactly the way I remembered: intoxicating and refreshingly sweet. The aroma brought back past memories with him. I remembered the night I'd spent with him too. Those two hours that I could never forget.

I felt him relax as he hugged me tightly. I could hear his heart thumping loudly against his clothes. Quickly. He inhaled deeply, taking in my scent.

"You're the same," he breathed. "Just as I remember. You haven't changed, Bella. Don't fool yourself otherwise."

I was scared. I was very scared. I knew I had to push him away, but I didn't want to. I knew that I would get hurt again if I chose to love him freely, despite the fact that we weren't siblings anymore. It was no longer just a matter of incest. It was a matter of his darkness. He was too controlling, too obsessive. Would he ever let me go?

"You can't leave me," he said. "I wouldn't be able to live. Don't leave me again, Bella. Please."

This was getting out of hand. If it progressed further, I wouldn't be able to escape again. With difficulty, I pushed him away. I realized there were fresh tears in my eyes. "Don't you understand that I left so that I could start a new life? I left so that I could escape you. _You_ were killing me, Edward. You were the one pulling me down. I_ had_ to leave!"

Agony replaced his anger. "I know. But what can I do? You wanted me to live without you, but I can't!"

I slapped his hand away when he tried to reach for me. "You've never even tried! This isn't love! This is obsession!"

"You don't understand," he whispered.

"I don't understand," I repeated. "Yes, I don't. I don't understand why we were meant to be like this. I need you to let go of me, Edward. Your obsession may be sustaining you, but it's killing me."

"It doesn't have to be that way," he pleaded. "I'm only afraid of losing you. If you'll just stay with me this time...if you'll just love me like you did before-"

"I can't!" I exploded. "It destroyed me once. I can't let it happen again!"

"We were siblings then. Now we aren't. Why are you holding back, Bella?" Edward looked impatient, frustrated. He was right. I hadn't changed, and he hadn't either.

Suddenly, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't still guilty, are you?"

I looked away. "I want you to leave, Edward."

"You are," he said softly. "You are still guilty."

That night...that beautiful, nightmarish night... His kisses, his caresses... They'd pleased me so much, and yet, I'd been so scared. Thinking about that night made my heart ache. It reminded me of something that could never be. I couldn't. He couldn't. It didn't matter that we had never been true siblings. In my mind, I could not let go of the eighteen years of living as his sister.

"We were never related," Edward reminded me. "Why are you still so guilty?"

He wouldn't understand. He never would. He claimed to love me, but did he really? How could I believe that what he felt was love? Did he even know what love is?

"That night was my fault," he said. "I lost control, and I dragged you down with me. It was never your fault, Bella."

Guilt. Fear. The nightmares that returned every night. I revisited that night every single evening.

"It was wrong, I know," he admitted. "Especially since we were under the impression that we were siblings. But I've never regretted that night, Bella. And if anyone should feel guilty, it should be me, not you."

"It was incest," I whispered. "I don't care what you say. In my mind, it'll always be a sin. Now, leave. Don't ever come back. Just leave me alone. All of you."

"I won't give up," he told me, his voice steely. He had made up his mind. He wasn't going to change his decision. "You _will_ be mine."

My heart sank. "Don't do this, Edward."

He turned without another word and walked out of the house. The door slammed loudly behind him, and I was left alone in the silent house. Slowly, I sank to the floor, a tear falling down my cheek. My heart throbbed.

Like dèjá vu, I was suddenly back to eighteen. A helpless, lost teenager.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Dun, dun, dun! They meet again! What did you think? Leave me lots of love and reviews!<strong>


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